Monday, December 15, 2008

You Must Be So Happy I Am Alive!

Bonjour Pittsburgh ( I try so hard not to speak french to you because my English is so very awesome.)

I watched the Steeler trample the crippled black birds of Ballymore:( The Steelers climbed to the top of the AFC North with the help of all of us in Steeler Nation!!!

I have been converting a Turkish family that runs a laundry to aim their satelight beam to watch the game. Now you have 8 new Pittsburgh Fans - Muhammet, Yunus, Firat, Gizem, Duygu, Emir, Goker and Murat. There are also all the women who they make watch. We have a fun time. I have taught them to do "THE WAVE" and "STEELERS SONG" (Which I made up because I do not know no Pittsburgh music?)

We watched the game in a group on a card table among the cloth washering and cheered and waved our hand-home-made Aweful Towels! We are one BIG UNIT! Me and Turkque friendz and Steeler Nation.... ONE BIG UNIT! I hope to post pictures sometime.

(If feel the need for a shirt with this on it to show my Pride? Mr. TinkleBreath may you make me memory objects...what do you call? Memory Mobile?

P.S. I was not one who wore masks and stole jewelry from the Big Stores here in Paris! No I did not rob and take money and fly to Pittsburgh to be with my friends Mr. Luke Ravenstahl and Mr. Bill Clinton and Mr. Rush Limbaugh ( no.... haha,,,friends in my dreams.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Why is Rich Lord Such a Meanie!!!

Hello everyone from the Northside...

I have been noticing in the P-G, it seems like Rich Lord has forgotten to take his take his medication... those pills that prevent you from wanting to wear tin foil hats and thinking the CIA is reading your mind.

It seems that Mr. Lord sees something evil in local developers (and others) from wanting to support what they think is good government. Come on!!!! Giving money is freedom of speech!

Then there is Mr. Peduto-head calling the way things work "pay to play" as if that were a bad thing. Let's say I'm am getting my house painted and I get a bid from my friend who I have known forever and I really like and he gives me nice CHRISTmas presents and he says he'll do it for $1,000. Then there is the drunk guy (who lives down the street from me who is nasty and disgusting and is name Larry who I always see picking up that crack whore on North Ave) he says he'll do it for $100. Who would you want painting your house? Right, YOUR FRIEND!!!

So come on and forget about changing any of it. It has worked for Pittsburgh for 250 years so why change it now? Oh, I know why because there is an election coming up and they want to cut the Good Mayor Luke down by his knee caps down to their size.

So as my good readers remember when you hear all those crazy people talking their crazy talk, that they are just looney. And don't surprised when you start seeing Rich Lord standing down in front of the City County Building with strange signs like that guy who use to be down there all the time talking about Mayor Murphy being the some space alien controling the radio waves or whatever.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving to all Fellow Mayor Lovers

from Mr. Tinklebreath, Pittsburgh's best Graphic Artsist!!!
(by the way I am fine and healthy. I have been having problems with viruses that keeps getting on my computer that make naked men pop up on my computer plus My granddaughter Tiffany has been using the computer for her customer service job. I don't know much about it but she has to have the door locked with music playing and needs a web cam. I am so proud that she is working hard to send herself through beauty school. My computer time is limited but as you all know family comes first. Have a Happy Thanksgiving)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Day of Birth Pittsburgh

Hello from the European Pittsburgh of Paris

So yesterday was your day of Birth Pittsburgh? You must have had a large party with hats and cake! I hope the People of Vision planned a grand buffet and losened the shackles for the common people to wander down to the river where George Washington declared the city of Pittburgh!!! It must have been a wonderful day for you. The city must have stood still and sang the song of birthday as one. Did Mr. Big Ben lead the singing?

You must have been up all night partying in the rivers and throwing the paper snow with drinks and singing. Did you do the Hands Across The Pittsburgh? Where everyone grabbbed hands to form a human chain of gladness to show togetherness? We in France were so jellyous when you Americans did the Hands Across America? In France, we do not do such fun things.

With the birth of Cooper and the Birth Party of the city, it must be crazy in my adoptable city and then you have the Steelers going to the Super Bowl? My brain has become a puddle of excitement.
Who is the sexe girl on the 250 Birthday Website? Do all women of Pittsburgh look this way? I am a puddle ( not a poodle).

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My Hart Flutters with Boundless Joy

From the always exciting Paris...

I know my posting on the Blog of Note has been less, it is because my job haas become like a chicken (or a Turkey for your Americans) with its head chopped off ( Have you seen the video of the always full of sexiness Ms. Palin among the Turkey slaughter? Why be shocked when she is a woman who survived many cold winters in the warmth of slaughtered bellys of raindeer?)

Anyway, I have seen the future of my job. I have been the head techical wizard of the fax machines of a large French multinational organization. But I see that the Fax machine is not the future here in Franch. I have often heard that Pittsburgh is 20 years behind everything so you must be just being introduced to the marvels of the Fax Machine. I ask you to petition all your high tech Business People of Vision to invite me to move to my adoptable city of Pittsburgh to introduce you to wonders of the Fax!!!

If you have not heard, you place a piece of paper in one of these machines of wonder and press a button and with magic of technology you can send the piece of paper to another Fax Machine anywhere in the world and that piece of paper with come out!!! This has come in very handy to learn about new business opportunities or to hear about "time share properties" or new things that you may sell! I think the people of Pittsburgh will stand in awe of such wonders.

Please call your High Tech Council for me and petetion them to give a grant for me to relocate to your city and spread the wonder!

So you may wonder why my hart flutteres? I have just read that Mr. Tony Norman is my number one fan!!! By being my fan he has shown the largness of his brain and all you Pittsburghers should follow he lead.

In tribute, I fired up the Paint program on my computer (as a high technologist this is not my best skill I will admit) and made this tribute to our new long lasting friend ship. Link

Sunday, November 9, 2008

You Must Be Dance on Roofs!!!

Hallo Pittsburgh! I am glad and we still Celebration all over from Paris for you!

We are so happy in the same way that you are? I have seen the videos on the Pittburgh News Channels of the students out in the streets happy. No burning and chanting up satan. Just pure bliss. It is super to see so many people happy and joyous over the arrival of one person in a very historic moment.

You are so lucky to be there in the most adoptable city of Pittsburgh during this great time. The chosen one has come!!!!

Welcome the true baby mayor COOPER RAVENSTHAL!!!

As you may know I am a good catholic like the mayor. I believe that the baby becomes human at conception and while I believe that the baby was concieved in Paris, I therefore state that the baby is FRENCH. And he will be the first French Mayor of Pittsburgh!

Welcome to the planet earth, Mr. Cooper

Monday, November 3, 2008

Vote for Hillary Tomorrow

From the Northside

(I am sorry I have been away from this blog. I have been busy making Little Frankie's Halloween costume again this year - he went as The Mayor Luke Ravenstahl again this year but I made the golf shirt all myself)

If you are like me and I think most of you are, you can't wait until tomorrow is done. I am just sick of it but you have to do your American duty tomorrow and vote.

If you are like me and I think most of you are, you have never voted for a black man before. Once he beat Hillary (who I was a big supporter) it became obvious that since I always vote Democrat, I was going to have to vote for a black man. Now don't get me wrong, I am not a racist. I have lots of people who live around me who are colored. So I am just pointing out a fact - he is black. And I have never voted for a black man before.

(As a side note, I want to say how made I am at that Martha guy for calling Western PA racist rednecks)

So I have been think that tomorrow when I pull the lever ( I GUESSS IT IS NOT A LEVER ANY MORE !!!) So when I push the tv screen, for Oboma, I am just going to think that I am voting for Hillary because that is really who my vote is for.

When I think about McCain I think I am as old as that guy. I have a hard enough time keeping regular let alone run a country!!! What is he thinking! What does he want to be, the first president to ride around in one of those scooters?

I guess what I am saying is go out and vote tomorrow.

(and Monk, I know you are crazy and since you are a Luke supporter can you tone it down so they don't think all Luke supporters are out of our minds?)

Friday, October 31, 2008

The Next Generation Arrives!

Great news! The next generation of Ravenstahls has been born to take over the helm of Mayor for Life! The Post Gagette announces that Luke and his wife Erin have announced the birth of their son, Cooper Luke! Just think, when Cooper is old enough to be Mayor (22) Luke will only be about 45, in the prime of his life, and still leading our City to greatness. Then Cooper can take over the reins allowing Luke to retire in comfort to a golf course somewhere. No wonder Luke says this is the happiest day of his life. I think I am going to send the Ravenstahls an expensive baby present, like maybe a stereo system, or one of those fancy jogging strollers that all the Shadyside parents have. I am hoping that Luke is not too busy this winter with the new baby to make sure my streets are cleared quickly when it snows.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Rumors of Pat Ford

Hello from the Center of the Universe, Paris...

Rumor is that the Traitor Mr. Ford and his wife will be traveling following the Metalica when their tour kicks off in the United States later in this month. This is a rumor I came across as I compile my grant application to make Pittsburgh house the Heavy Metal Music Hall of Fame. The couple will be traveling in an decorated RV and will be recieving checks from the city to pay for their journey. While I would never want to be them I do admire and fill with jelousy that they are LIVING THE DREAM LIFE.

Mark my words, I will make Pittsburgh the center of the Heavy Metal Universe!!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Monk: I know who you are

From the Northside

I just got back last night from a bus trip with me and my girlfriends up to the Seneca Niagra CaSINo and we had a wonderful time. I get back and I see that this guy Monk has pooped all over my blog. It is bad enough that my little mutt dog Myron Cope poops all over my kitchen floor, but do I need some one pooping all over my blog?

While I am the oldest blogger in Pittsburgh and you might think that I am as smart as a CMU Nerd, I'm not. I can turn on my computer and do what I need to do just like I am not a chef. I just know how to open my microwave's door and hit a few buttons. My granddaughter Tiffany is the computer person. She spends all her time on my computer doing her "job" which she says is customer service but it has something to do with a webcam and playing dance music. Anyway, it uses up my computer but I have to hand it to her, she is paying her way through beauty school and I don't have to give her money anymore for her tanning sessions.

I asked her if she could do her computer HooDoo stuff and tell me who this Monk guy is. It is Richard Mellon Sciafe!!!!! You know the guy who runs the Tribune Review. She did some Google thing and showed me a map and this Monk guy is in Shadyside and drinks a lot and types stuff up on the computer. So Mr. Monk, sorry to blow your cover, but why don't you go back to your billion dollar house and your poopy paper and cry into your little baby blanket? Or did your ex-wife take your little baby blanket?

(There you go, DeeGazette. That should put a sock in his pie hole!)

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Luke is good on finances

Okay, maybe I am sitting at home alone on Saturday night and I had too many glasses of shardonnay for dinner. But I am reading about strawberry's post about the financial crsis and I think: right on! Yeah, so we keep hearing about how Pittsburgh is all bankrupt and stuff. But, nobody asked city council to give the city any old six bazillion dollar bailout. It's like Washington decided that Wall Street needed all kinds of money to bail themselves out and here we are in Pittsburgh bailing ourselves out and nobody else is helping us. Where is Mr. Bill Potatohead when we need city council to bail us out? Where is that republican guy who tried to become mayor? What was his name? Mark Desantis or something like that. Where is he now with his republican millions of dollars? He's probably out campaigning for the Lehman Brothers to become presidents, or maybe at least for McCain and Palin to win the election. I just think he could help us now with his millions of dollars, but where is he? That's right! Nowhere to be seen and only Luke is still around to help us get out of this wall street mess here in Pittsburgh. This is a another reason why Luke is Mayor for Life like Strawberry always says.

And, speaking of the republicans and this financial crisis. You can tell that Luke did not get us into the crisis because he is a democrat. But you can be sure that it is all the republicans' fault and you know it because they are not even around to help fix it. But what if McCain and Palin get elected. Boy are we in trouble. She is SO stupid. I have knicknamed her Sarah PAIN (you just have to drop the L). There is Pain in Palin. She is just dumb, dumb, dumb. And a total lying b*tch. Her most recent lie is that Obama is friends with terrorists. Anyway, I hope Luke does not support McCain/Palin because if he does that would be stupid. If they get elected we will wlays be bankrupt both financially, morally, and intellecktually.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Financial Crises? I say "Shut up"

From the Northside...

I have to make quick because I have a hair dresser appointment.

I want to point out that some people say the city owes about a billion dollars, but we are doing ok. The Mayor Luke Ravenstahl is keeping it all together because of his supiority in his leadership. I don't see him all paniced. He walks around cool as a cucumber and our garbage keeps getting picked up and people keep awnsering 311 (after you've been on hold forever!!! I wish there was a number I could call to complain evertime I am put on hold for too long. Likae a number like 311311!!! Yeah, how about set up a 311 complaint line?)

Anyway, look at all those jagoffs in Washington and Wall street who are yapping, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." They should take a lesson from The Mayor and remain calm and cut ribbons or dig a hole when a new building is going in.

Everybody is going all kookoo about this financial mess, but what they really should do is look at Pittsburgh and see how we have been handling it. We're not asking for no bailouts. I have yet to see anybody at the check cashing place saying I need my money now because Pittsburgh is failing. So everybody just calm down.

I would like to see Katie Curic come here and ask regular Pittsburghers how we have been living calmly with a billion dollar debt hanging over OUR heads. Maybe the nation could learn a lesson from us. Maybe that guy Phil Grahmcracker was right! The nation is just full of whinners.

I'm going to get my hair done!!!!!!

Monday, September 29, 2008

I am live Blogging the Steelers

Hello from my Black and Gold Paris

I have discovered a Launderette that is showcaseing the Steelers and the other team. I am in glee. It has the WIFI so I shall try to live blog this battle. It is early in the morning so as I wash my clothes I hope I do not wake up the Turkish family that lives in the back room.

That poor man is hurt! May he believe in God.

I missed a lot and the Steeler kicked the ball through the 2 yellow poles and 3 points are in our possession!

The Ravens have placed the ball through the 2 yellow poles and they have now equaled the Steelers with 3 points.

Big Ben is a Frankenstien. He gets tossed to the ground, but he needs to get up angry like the Hulk.

The Ravens are good at kicking the ball. Ben must tie his shoes tighter.

The Ravens have a fat man a very fat man,trying to cross the goal line, I have never seen a fat man running so fast.
Then Ravens get a touch down right before half time which makes it upsetting for drinking more beer. I wish for The Steelers to get to the locker room. They make it there but no points for that.

The Turkish family's dog took a shit on the Launderette floor. I missed the touchdowns. So I do not know what happened in the 3rd quarter.

How is the score the same? It is 20-20 with 1:15 left. Why is it so slow? Why do they not rip off heads and arms with blood and bones and get the ball in the goal?

Do they have earthworms in the dirt?


A ball through the 2 yellow poles and we have an won! Everyone is on the field. VICTORY!

Good Morning Paris,
Good Night Pittsburgh
Your Friend

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Football Season Starts

Friday, September 5, 2008

Luke Should Feel Like A Cock

Hello From the Always Cultured Paris!!!

Mr. Luke Ravenstahl should have his chest out and should be strutting around the barnyard like the cock that he his. The other roosters in the barnyard should cow to him and the chickens should flock to him. Why do I give such high praise?
Here in France, we often look down our noses at the American Politic (and everything else). I have been following your President race for the laughs. And I have been laughing. You have a Black Man running against an Old Man. Then the Old Man is running with a WoMan. And then the WoMan does not believe in telling people where babies come from and then her daughter now has a baby coming. (not to mention that she believes that the dinosaurs were on Noah's Arc?) The only thing to make it funnier is if the baby's father was the Old Man or The Black Man. HA HA.
Anyway, why I mention this is that Sarah Palin the WoMan is recieving so much praise for being the Mayor of a small town of 9,000 peoples. Peoples say this gives her the experience to drive your country should Mr McCain pass away. Using my large math skills and with Pittsburgh having 300,000 peoples, that makes Mr. Mayor Luke Ravenstahl 33.333 times more qualified to run the whole United States than Mrs. Palin. And since they are saying because of her "executive experience" Mrs. Palin who is very good looking by the way, is more qualified than Mr. Obama, I would say Mr. Luke is 300,000 times more qualified than him or Mr. McCain because niether of them have the executive experience to run the United States.
So now do you see why I think Mr. Ravenstahl should be strutting around like a cock with his chest out and his tail feathers flying?
Bravo again, Mr. Ravenstahl. And may I too give you a kiss. A French Kiss at that!

Monday, September 1, 2008

A Kiss for Luke

This photo of Luke is from a Post-Gagette online article about the Pat Ford affair. Look how sad Luke looks! I know he is really upset about breaking up with Pat. You can just tell from this photo. Poor Luke. I think we should all send him a big collective kiss to make him feel better. And, also, because he just looks so darned kissable. Has he ever looked sexier!?

I think if we all send Luke a big kiss we can help he get over his lover's quarrel with Pat just that much quicker. It is a terrible thing when two lovers break up, but sometimes it has to happen. Especially when an innocent young man like Luke falls in love with a deceitful backstabbing older man like Pat Ford. It's like that movie Brokeback Mountain. I just hope their wives will be okay and get over this whole sad affair quickly. Plus Luke has to get on being our Mayor who we love even if he did have a failed affiar with Pat Ford, it was not Luke's fault.

So, I ask that this be "send Luke a Kiss week." Please everyone do you part to cheer up our Mayor. Send him a kiss today.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Pat Ford Should Hari Kari

Hello From Paris!
I have been following the sky rocket like trip of Pat Ford career. For a time I thought of hitching my wagon upon his star now I am glad my wagon never got hitched to it. His star now dims and will soon be like a cigarette butt on the sidewalk waiting for a heel to rub it out. That is Life or Ce La Vie.
Now I puzzle at his claim of being a good solder. A good solder dos not give up until The Death! A good solder does not have the opportunity to talk to reporters or write letters or have a attorney. It is just the solder and his sword. When the enemy closes in, you must run full stream a head until death.
Mr. Ford has failed on many advanced levels. He has been taken prisoner, he has not fightened to the Death, and now when the time is tough on him, he is turning his back on his King to preserve himself. He is the ultimate failure.
It is amazing how the Winds of Fates blow. Just a year ago I had Dreams like Mr. Ford of smoking cigars and drinking Scotch from a window in a tall building and overlooking our domains. Now look at us. My dream has not come true like an airplane still sitting on the run way. Mr. Fords airplane took off and I watched it soar then like a space shuttle it has ended as a flame ball and wreakage.
The only step left for Mr. Ford is to commit to the Hari Kari to restore his honor. Mr. Ford must go to a public place and do the Hari Kari and maybe his wife can post it on a blog to bring honor back to their family.
But my guess is that Mr. Ford and his Family will be traveling down to Florida again planning out trailer parks where he will be standing on top of his trailer looking out at his domain with a Swisher Sweets Cigar and a drink of Sourthern Comfort.
Good Luck Mr. Ford, remember statue of limitations allows for Hari Kari at anytime to restor honor.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Backstabbing Sleazeball Ford

As regular visitors to this site know, I support everything our handsome boy genius mayor Luke Ravenstahl does. He is doing a great job as mayor and getting better every day. Sure, he has made a few stumbles along the way. But I think the ability to learn on the job is important for our Mayor. Yeah, I used to even support Luke's decision to hire Pat Ford as Director of the Urban Redevelopment Authority. Because, I knew that if Luke liked Pat, then Pat must be a good person. SO, even when Pat Ford and his wife Alecia Slirky were accused of taking gifts from that Lamar guy, I knew it must not be true. I think I even wrote about it. At least I knew Luke was not responsible. And I thought Luke would never hire someone who would knowingly do bad and wrongful things such as Pat and Alecia were accused of doing. I figured that if Luke hired someone then he must be a good, upstanding public servant, honest and sincere.

Boy was I ever wrong about that!!

I turns out that, in his petulant and unprofessional resignation letter, Pat Ford, sounding like a spoiled little baby with too much poop in his diaper, has essentially accused Luke of incompetence and corruption. Can you believe it? Of course, I don't like anybody who accuses Luke of these things. We are supposed to trust our leaders and not make false accusations. I think this is even one of the ten commandmants, possibly right after "thou shall not accept false gifts." Anyway, it is despicable of Ford to say all these mean things after all that Luke has done for Pat and Alecia. Mr. Ford seems to have forgotten that HE is the one who is corrupt, not Luke! Pat Ford wants to clear his good name or some nonsense like that. Well, he can forget about that. His unbelievable letter pretty much cements his corrupt reputation to his name forever. Pat, you ruined your own reputation, you dug your own grave, you sleazy backstabbing piece of sh*t. Nobody else did it for you, least of all our good Mayor Luke.

Yep, Pat, you are a total backstabbing turncoat. Nobody likes a crybaby. Least of all one that tries to destroy the reputation of the Mayor who has done nothing but good. Luke was good enough to give you a chance and you blew it. I admire Luke for trying to let you have an important job even though he might have known you were a bad man. Perhaps Luke was just trying to give a fair chance to everyone, even someone who might take bribes and inappropriate gifts in exchange for favors and plum no bid contracts. This is very admirable of Luke to give someone who would do that a chance--it is like trying to rehabilitate a criminal. But, how sad for you Pat! If you weren't so hateful, I would almost pity you. But, actually you are beneath pity. Does anybody pity the scum on a pond? I don't think so. Actually, come to think of it, comparing you to pond scum isn't even fair to the poor pond scum. But, I digress.

I just want to say a final good riddance to you Pat Ford. Now our beloved Mayor Luke can get on with doing what he is best at doing: running our great city, looking handsome and sexy, and making sure he has great people working for him. And the URA can get back to doing what it does best. Whatever that is. But I don't need to worry myself about it because I know Luke is on the job. And now that you are gone Pat, Luke will get someone good to permanently run the URA, hopefully that wonderful Rob Stephany, who I hear has been doing such a great job as acting director. And talk about handsome!! Rob is SO well suited to the job because he is SO good looking! Be still my beating heart.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: Bodack has A New Job

From the Northside

I just sat down with my first IC Light of the day when I noticed on line that Mr. Len Bodack just got a job at the Sewer Authoritity. Bravo for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since Pretty Boy Dowd stole his seat on Council I have been wondering how Lenny Jr was going to be feeding his family. I hoped something would come through for him before the Unemployment checks stopped. At least now he's landed on his feet.

I was soooo mad when he had to leave Council. I always thought that if there were more like him on council this whole city would run much better. I'm sure The Mayor would agree with me.

Now everytime I flush my toilet and everything goes away, I'm going to be thanking Mr. Lenny Bodack Jr.

I NEVER Thought I'd Say This...!!!!!

From The Northside

... bravo Sophie Masloff!!!!!!!!

I read in the P-G yesterday, that she is boycotting the Democratic Convention. I know she has to be as upset about Hillary as I am. I'm glad to see that she is doing something about it!

Like Sophie, I am an old lady who doesn't have to much longer on this planet before I go off to Heaven ( Sophie is Jewish so I don't know where she'll go). One of my dreams since I was a little girl was to see a woman be president. Hillary was our only chance. I know Sophie is thinking she is never going to see it happen. I'm glad to see she is kicking her bathroom slipper right in the Obamacrats crotchs.

I never cared for Sophie. When she was running for City Council years ago, I knew she was rising above her place. I thought there was no way I wanted my CouncilMAN to be seated at the same table as a BRA-BURNER!!! Then she ran for mayor. I flipped my lid. I thought "What does her husband think?" Then I thought "Her husband can't be much of a man to let her run around wild like that." All my fears of public bra-burnings came to pass.

The first woman I voted for was Darlene Harris for school board. I tricked myself by saying if I squinted at her, she looked like a man there for I didn't feel wierd.

Hillary was the first woman I really wanted to win and there she was losing to a black guy. I'm so glad to see that Sophie is standing up against this outragousness.

Sophie you are my new hero.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Happy Vacation Month Pittsburgh May Your Face Have Been Rocked Off!

Hello from Relaxation Paris

As you must know, August is the month of Holiday for the civilized world. I hope you in Pittsburgh are enjoying your month of relaxation like I have been enjoying my 5 long weeks of Holiday without working.

I noticed in your paper this morning that you were visited by The Judas Priest. Lucky you.

The city must have been ghost like with everyone in Pittsburgh tooking their kids to see The Monsters of Metal show. You had Le Moterhead and Mr. Dio! You must have been in Heaven (or Hell if that were you Metal Preference?)

It is said that there were "Two huge winged gargoyles squatted in trees on either side of the band, on the lookout for negative vibes" that later "spit out two huge torrents of dry ice vapor." I started think What if Pittsburgh had such creatures to greet visitors? What if Pittsburgh became the Heavy Metal Family Friendly Travel Destination?

Most people that use to bang their heads now have children and would enjoy visiting a "City that Would Rock Your Face OFF"! Cleveland (who is the great rival of Pittsburgh) has the Rock and Roll Museum! Why not have Pittsburgh have the Heavy Metal Museum for Pittsburgh has a large history of Metal? You even have a Hot Metal Bridge which makes me wonder how people cross it without burning up into cinders which they touch it?

Pittsburgh you are Metal. Embace it!

I would gladly come to Pittsburgh as a consultant to help get the Heavy Metal Museum flying off the ground like an eagle soaring!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

What An Awful Day Yesterday!!!

So yesterday morning my whole day went to poop. I was reading the paper and my son Frankie Jr. sat down and started reading the paper with me. Out of nowhere he started crying and he ran off and locked himself in his bedroom. I asked him what was wrong and he said that Donzis was gone! He had seen the picture above and had just read this story.

Frankie had spent most of his 20s at Donzis. That is where he met his girlfriend and mother of my grandson Little Frankie. If you don't know Donzis was where all the real cool kids use to hang out. It was a nice little club for the youngster to hang out years ago. They could go there and hang out with their friends.

When Frankie Jr. would go there it was the only time he would ever get really dressed up. If I heard the shower running I knew he would soon be coming down the steps saying he was going "out to the market". That is what he use to call it. He never went shopping except to the auto parts store. For some reason him and his friends called it "the meat market".

Frankie Jr was so upset yesterday. He drives a tow truck for a living and he didn't have it in him to even turn on his police scanner yesterday so I sat there at the kitchen table listening to the police scanner for most of the day. Even when there was a crash near the house that would be really easy cash for him, he ignored it. He just stayed in his room crying saying all his greatest memories were leaving pittburgh.

Later in the day, when I read that Pat Ford wasn't getting in any trouble with the State Ethnic board, Frankie Jr. could care less. I went to treat myself to a nice cold IC Light to celebrate and then I realized that Frankie Jr had locked himself in his bedrrom with my WHOLE CASE OF BEER!

So I had to drink warm beer from my pantry. Then I was listening to the Pirates game and I could barely hear it over the loud rock and roll music from Frankies room. I kept turning up my radio louder and he would turn his up louder. At one point I looked up at the back door of my kitchen and there was a police officer on my back porch. He told me that they were getting calls about all the noise coming from my house. I was so embarassed. I told him I'd take care of it.

I kept trying to get Frankie to turn down his music and he wouldnt so I didn't want to be there when the police came back so I went down to the neighborhood bar to play the machines. Nothing was going right and I kept lossing. I spent all my money for the rest of the months groceries! Frankie Jr is going to owe me for all the problems he caused and it all comes down to Donzis getting floated down the river!

So can you see why my day was so bad!!!! It should have been such a great day because Pat Ford was hopefully getting his job back but Frankie Jr. ruined it. He can be such a jaggoff!!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Alcoholic Tax is Brilliant Mindmind!

Hello from the beautiful Paris where everyone is taking the whole month of August off for Holiday!

I must give the credit to His Honor Dan Onorator. He has shown a glimmer of political smartness that even I might admire. Maybe he has been reading The Art of War which I sent all the great leaders of Vision in your region a while ago.

With his drink tax, he is dividing and soon will be conquoring all. He is pitting the old against the alcoholics. The bus riding poor against the alcoholics and the old. The resturant owners against the hippy bus riders and the old. And then you have the Transit Union which is both old and alcoholic but not poor and hippy wanting to destory all and everyone wanting to destroy them. The beauty of the plan of Mr. Onorator is that as the fight grows he will be propeled to greater poltical highs while these members of the Untouchable Classes pummel each other!!! BRAVO, Mr. Onorator.

My only suggestion is that he should have taxed all drinks except wine. That would have been civilized and might have given the savages who park on barstools and drink the beer and the whiskey together a rope to grasp out of their miserable lives to a more cultured realm. Rethink that aspect. Tax all drinks except wine. And good wine at that. Maybe tax all wine except French wine. Other than that, Good Job. Maybe as Governor, I could visit you in your palace, Mr. Onorator?

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Pittsburgh: I crawl back to you

Hello from Paris with My head hanging low asking for pardon

My dear adoptable city of Pittsburgh, I have strayed. I have done what many a young person has done before me. I believed there was better love beyond the valleys that hug the city of Pittsburgh. I now crawl back asking for forgiveness.

I thought I had found a better city in the Americas to adopt as my online living place. Like many Young People before me, through heavy thinking I choosed Peoria. I thought the city had more potential for me to win my dream of transport to America and rocket to the stratosphere where the People of Vision inhabit and float around and create better visions for the little people who live and toil in the city. My offerings of love through the internet ( were accepted as if I wished to make love to a fish... a dead fish. I could have done it but I would feel foul and smell.

So Pittsburgh I come crawling back like a husband who has cheated. Now you should accept me MORE because I have found that you Pittsburgh are the TRUE ONE. This is why all men should be allowed to go out and test the other horses in the field so they can come back to their woman (or man in Gay4Luke's situation) with new respect. American women's insecurity holds them back from allowing their man to roam with the winds. America join the rest of the civilized world and be self assured. It is not cheating. It is a strategy for winning for the man but mostly for the woman. This is also why you Pittsburgh should never fear the loosing of young people for they may come back learning the errors of their ways.

Plus, with the return of the Steelers to their training for the upcoming American Football battle season has hastened my return. VIVA STEELERS!

So please forgive me for my transgressions. Let's make love again with even more passion (The Passion IS the name of your female American football team for a reason!).

Monday, July 21, 2008

Something about Obama

Hello from the Northside

Ever since Hillary was forced out of the president race, I've been thinking alot about Obama. There is something about him that bothers me. I haven't been able to put my finger on it.

With Hillary, I finally got over the fact that she was a woman and possibly a lesbeing so I was all ready to vote for her. Now with Obama, he is a man and he's married so it should be easy to vote for him because I usually my whole life have voted for men (except for Darlene Harris!). So my problem with Obama can't be that.

Whenever Obama comes on the tv, first thoughts is "Is my backdoor locked?" So maybe it has something to do with his stances on Homeland security? Would I feel safer with him in the White House? Hmmm, I don't know but my gut tells me that we wouldn't. Then I wonder if my front door is locked too.

When I look at Obama, I think there is something about him that just isn't right that he sould be President. When I look at McCain, there is something familar. It might be that he is old like me. That might be it.

When I was young and I voted for JFK, I thought to my self, "could I marry this guy?" The answer was yes. I've used that ever since. First the guy must be a democrat and then I think can I marry this guy. Bill Clinton was easy but the democrats have surely put up some guys in the past that were hard for me to accept like Mondale or Dukakus, but there is something about Obama that I just can't get my mind around. I keep thinking my Dad would spin around in the grave if I were to marry him. I must be getting old because i can't see marrying someone who is about half as old as me. That has to be it.

The biggest reason why I don't feel right about voting for Obama is because The Mayor and Dan the Tax Man (who might I remind that this blog was the first to endorse him for Governor!!!!) and Governor Rendel haven't told me to vote for him. When they all were behind Hillary I was more than willing to vote for someone who was a woman and possibly a lesbeing, but until they come out and tell me to vote for some as young as Obama, I just don't know if I can do it.

Friday, July 18, 2008


Hello from the Northside!!!!!!!

I went Downtown yesterday to pay a bill. I was walking by Sammy's Corned Beef and I saw in the window Mary Beth Buchanan. She was eating a big corned beef sandwich that was dripping down her chin and all down here shirt sleaves. It might of been a Ruban. It looked just like her. She was dressed all fancy and her chin looked like a glazed donut with buttery corned beef juice. She was dressed sensible and was wearing gym shoes under her skirt. She looked just like I had seen on TV.

I didn't want to go in and say it to her face so I told her what I thought through the window. I waved my hand to get her attention and said " Leave Mr. Ford allone! He's done nothing." I went off and told her other stuff. She shrugging her shoulders acting like she didn't know what I was talking about but she knew. She was shaking her head and waving her hands. "Quit wasting our money and start worrying about important stuff like fighting crime and fixing potholes"!!!

I gave her a piece of my mind through the window. After I walked away I went back again to say thanks for nothing in going after Cereal Wecyht and wasting all that time and money. I felt so much better. I know it was her and I did my part and spoke my mind. I was so proud of myself I treated myself to a little candy bar and an ice cold IC Light at Market Square just like my dad use to give me.

Keep Cool. Remember the senior centers are open. and keep hydrated. And quit picking on The Mayor and his friends.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Time To Follow The StrawberryWay!!!!

Hello from the Northside

Bloggers are dropping like flys here is Pittsburgh, but I am fine I put a new air conditioner in the back and room so now I can blog all summer. I have a Igloo cooler full of iron city that I have set in an old kitty litter pan so it don't drip all over the floor. I'm in heavan! Big Frankie (my huABAND)calls it my cave.

Tonight is fireworks at the Pirates. Go Bucco's. Go Luke. Go Pittsbburgh!!!!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Luke, Do Something!

I am hereby publicly asking Mayor Luke to do something about this whole Pittsburgh Steelers buyout thing. I know he is best friends with the Rooneys and Mario and Ben Rothlisberger so he must make sure that the Steelers do not get sold to this Drunkenhammer guy. What is going on here? This is an upset to the natural order of things. It is Pittsburgh and the Rooneys own the Steelers. End of story. Luke, you must do something. Some things should never change and LUke was elected to protect the status quote so I am asking that he make sure the Steelers do not get sold to a Drunk. I don't want to have to go to my councilman, Mr Potatohead, because it will take council way to long to do something that Luke can do with one phone call. All those stupid Rooney brothers who want to sell should sell to their big brother Dan, even if the offer is not good enough. This is very important to the future of Pittsburgh for the Rooneys to own the Steelers, so of course it is Mayor Luke's job to make sure the Rooneys are still in their rightful place as Steelers owners forever.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


from the Northside...

I find it surprising Gay4Luke that you don't like Mr. Bardon eventhough he is one of yours. Thinking of that I think I have figured out why you don't really like him. It is because we know that he really wants to have the caSINo being a whorehouse.

This website broke the TRUE story along time ago about what the real plans are. . . to have a giant whorehouse right there on the river. It all makes sense. If they are willing to have gambling where will it stop? We might even have Rick Santorum's dream of men having s*x with dogs!!!

But you know what? I don't care. I want my property tax relief.

Gay4Luke, if you want to hate Mr. Bardon, go ahead. The only people left in Pittsburgh are only going to be you and us old people whose scooters aren't allowed to go through the Fort Pitt Tunnel to get us out of town.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Leave Mr. Bardin Alone!!!!

Hello from the Northside!!!

I am back but I have been enjoying my summer. Ever since Hillary lost I've been very mad at everyone. You would think with all the power that Mr. Randel has he could have tipped the whole country toward Hillary. Then you put Dan Onorato's power and Luke's power in the mixed they should have gone out there and broken knee caps all around the country. But no. And look at where we are now?

Anyway, my main point in this post is that we need to see the caSINo build on the Northside at all costs. Some of the things that I wanted before I died are a woman in the white house and to be able to walk down a caSINo and play slots.

Now that a woman will not be in the white house (unless Obama starts wearing a dress and has his dinkle removed) I at least want to be able to go to a caSINo in my own neighborhood! At the pace its going, I'm either going to have to ride a scooter to the place or someone will have to wheel me on my deathbed. Come on Pittsburgh. Aren't we all sick of sitting at a stupid poker machine in a corner bar? Don't you want some real class and do your gambling in a place with carpet and the beautiful sound of money tinkling out of the slot machines?

All these poop heads are throwing slugs in our slots!!! Why can't the construction workers just get a bunch of free credits on the slot machines and get done with the building?!!?!?!?!

Forget about building a real building. Just put up a big tent like they had down at the Meadows before their caSINo was done. Who cares what it looks like on the outside! Everyone is going to be inside once the thing opens.

The REAL Pittsburghers like me are smart while these egghead poopheads are trying to ruin us. Why couldn't all these dumb-dumbs go travel with their friend Peduto and start their own country Pedutostan somewhere.

For all you people who care... Pierre sent me the following email...

Dear Friend Strawberry Way,

I regret to inform you that I have taken the path that most young gifted smart people from Pittsburgh have traveled before. Pittsburgh has broken my heart for my Love was never returned with the greatness equal to what I gave. I have used the Internet to find a new love, It is named Peoria in the grand state of Lincoln of Illinois. From this day forth, I shall be known as Pierre4Peoria. I hope that my grand plan of getting showered with love and money will come forth from my new Internet home town. I hope they will fly me to their town and I shall look down from my airplane seat as we fly over Pittsburgh and a tear may come to my eye or not.

Drained love,

There you go, Pittsburgh, driving away some of your biggest supporters. Now you are stuck with only me (and Gay4Luke).

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I Know you wish I was dead.

Sorry for not writing for so long but my computer broke down. I am soooo mad. I hate computers. I hate them soooooo much.

Thanks too everybody who asked if I was ok. No the IC Light and cigarettes haven't stopped me.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Mayoral Bodyguards

I just read in the Post Gagette today that there is another controversy surrounding Mayor Luke. I don't have time to find the URL and stick it in here, so you will just have to go to the Post Gagette site yourself and search for the article. Which article is incidentally is by our friend Rich Lord (rhymes with "bored," which I usually am by his articles). Sorry for not providing the link here, but you can look it up, I know you can.

Anyway, it seems that the Mayor went to Detroit for the first two Stanley cup finals games between our beloved Penguins and the Detroit Redwimps. And he took a bodyguard from Pittsburgh with him. So this is controversial?! Duh. The Mayor was going to a hostile City to watch his Penguins play hockey--which he should, as Mayor, do. This is his job. Of course he needs a bodyguard! A handsome guy like Luke is going to be besieged by his many female and gay male admirers in a foreign city like Detroit and he needs to be protected from them. Otherwise they might rip off his suit in public, and that would not look very good, because he does look SO good in his suit!! This is to say nothing of the fact that there are probably lots of Detroit Redwimps fans who would not like Mayor Luke being in their city and they might try to hurt him by calling him names like "Opie" and stuff like that. So he needs a bodyguard. I for one am glad my tax dollars are paying to protect dear Mayor Luke. It is really important.

Now, of course, Luke is a big strong strapping young man, and I am sure he can protect himself. Even so, Public Safety Director Michael Huss decided to send a bodyguard. Well, that proves there must be a serious threat to the Mayor's safety. Because, he obviously needs extra protection even though he is so strong. This is a bit like when George Bush raises the National Security alert level to code orange--you know he is doing it because there is a real danger. You know this even though he is an incompetent fool of a president. But he would never deceive the American people. It is the same thing with Mayor Luke. He needs bodyguards in a foreign place even though he is big and storng because there is a real danger!

By the way, I wonder how one gets the job to guard Luke's body? I know some body builder guys down at my gym, Club Pittsburgh, who would be thrilled to guard Luke.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Should I Keep Blogging????

I'm just sitting here having an IC LIGHT and Thinking I'm the oldest blogger in Pittsburgh and nobody cares. Jaggoffs.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Joy For Little Mayor Child Arriving

Hello from Paris!

The News is GOOD!!! The Mayor and his Wife are with child. A prince or princess is on the way to carry on the Ravenstahl Dynesty!

I must remind everyone that they are 3 months on their journey and where were they 3 months ago? That is correct - here in the city of Love Paris. Some of the greatest people of the world got their start on the beds of this great city.

I personally congratulate you Mr. Ravenstahl, you have proved you are a man!

Monday, April 14, 2008

I Hate Blogger, Bloggers and Other Things!!!

From the Northside - rember vote HILLARY or you hate Pittsburgh

I had written a hole big thing about how you meanies have just ruined tons of peoples lives just to prove that you can blog in your pajamas, but Blogger erased it all. It basicly went like this....

Poor Alica and Pat, I hope they are spending the weekend at The Mountaineer. That would be a great way to get over an awful week. They could play some slots and the hole bad awful world will disappear. Watch some shows and have some drinks and everything will be better.

As for you bloggers, shame on you for ruining their lives. Don;t you understand, now all those business people aren't going to want to do business around here because they will be scared about doing anything that will ruin their lives. Soon Pittsburgh will be a ghost town and we will all crawling around looking for crumbs for food among the ruins of what was once beautiful Pittsburgh, but you guys will still be blogging in your hand cranked computers. I bet you all watched Planet of the Apes and rooted for the Apes!!! Damn you all.

Here is something from Mr. Tinklebreath's calendar that I couldn't get made...

Not Responsible

I just want to say that Mayor Luke is NOT responsible for this whole Lamar billboard debacle. I do not know why some mean people out there think that he is. They are just stupid. Here is how it is. First, Alecia Sleazekirk is (was) just the mayor's spokeswoman, she was not the Mayor. So, she can take gifts from anybody she likes. And if she takes bribes it is not the same as if the Mayor takes them. He only hired her, he is not her. Her husband, Pat Ford, is a different story. The Mayor hired Pat to consolidate all of the city development operations under one roof. Of course, the Mayor thought that the previous nice honest man who had this job (Jerry Dettore) was not good enough so the Mayor had to bring in his own buddy, Pat Ford. So what? This is what Mayors do. They bring in people who support their interests and goals to help run the city. The Mayor cannot help it if he brings in people who later turn out to be bribe-taking sleazeballs who grant favors to their buddies in exchange for sensurround systems. What is a sensurround system anyway? Is it something Alecia and Ford used for Kinky sex while watching fantasy videos of their friend Mr. Lamar? But, I digress. Actually, I should not say that Alecia and Pat took bribes. We do not know if they really took bribes. We only know that they took gifts from Mr. Lamar, the king of billboards. Then, they let Mr. Lamar put his butt ugly flashing electronic billboards up all over town, especially on the new bus station at the end of Grant Street. And they did not ask ANYBODY else like Mr. Bill Peduto if it was okay. People are now mad because Mr. Lamar's billboards are a gross eyesore. Shoot, even Ruth Ann Dailey is mad, so you know it must be bad. Well, come to think of it Ruth Ann, being an arch conservative, is mad about everything all the time. Except for Jesus who she loves. Just the other day, I saw Ruth Ann on WQED ranting on about how Pittsburgh should have a giant ferris wheel but does not. A FERRIS WHEEL? Just because George Ferris used to live here? What are we, London? How stupid is THAT? As if it would bring more young people back! Stupid stupid stupid. Can't we think of something original? Here I go digressing AGAIN! I used to think Pat Ford was really handsome and sexy but now I think he is really ugly because he loves billboards. I hate billboards! Anyway, just because our good Mayor Luke hired Pat and Alecia does not mean that Luke is responsible for EVERYTHING they do. So, I am really pissed off at the mean bloggers who are trying to say that the Mayor is responsible for Pat Ford's cronyism and favoritism towards that Mr. Lamar guy. Luke is NOT responsible, He did not even know about it, and he cannot help it if people in his administration take gifts and bribes and grant no bid contracts. It is not as if Luke was married to Alecia and Pat and could keep track of them 24/7. They only work (worked) for him. They are married to each other. Luke has more important Mayoral duties. Plus, he has his own wife to keep track of. So just shut up.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

You People Are So Mean!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

My Endorsement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From the Northside!!!!!!

After weeks of waiting for the candidates for president to get in touch with me, nobody got in touch with me. Then I find out the demographic up for grabs in Pennsylvania is WHITE MEN! Here I am a old white woman super voter, and I keep getting no respect!

Anyway, So I am endorsing Hillary Clinton!

I never thought I'd be telling people to vote for a lesbeing but Mr Ravenstahl and Mr. Rendell have endorsed her too so I feel like I am in good company. Since everyone importent has endorsed her, if that other guy wins - Obama - we are going to be in big trouble because he will punish us in Western PA and try to make us part of West Virgina. So for our own future, we have to vote for Hillary.

So my recommendation, if you hate Pittsburgh, don't vote for Hillary. If you love Pittsburgh, vote for Hillary.

[I still want to point out, that this Blog was the first to endorse Dan Onorato for Governor. He has never thanked me. Dan, you can email me at]

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I'm Back

From the Northside!!!!!!!!

I just got back from visiting my sister down in Florida for about 3 weeks. It was awful. I couldn't find anyone in her retirement community that had the Internet. At least here in Pittsburgh we have the Internet.

I have so much stuff to catch up on so I am going to be busy.

One thing I can say is that I am already tired of all the local blogs ragging on Mr. Ravenstahl for what he did on St. Patrick's day. So what if he went through the parade twice. I'm sure it was fun and he is The Mayor so I would say he could do it as many times as he wanted. I wish he would have done the parade 30 times!!!

Also, so what if he went to some bar on the Northside? He already said that he is a 20 something and he is going to do what 20 somethings do and I don't know any 20 something that doesn't get blind drunk on St Patrick's day. Why should The Mayor be any different? I personally think it would be refreshing if The Mayor held some office hours at some bar somewhere. I think that would get the young people more involved.

Also, so what if he asked a couple police officers to wear their baseball caps and shave or whatever. He is The Mayor. Those police are like those guards for Queen Elizabeth who wear those q-tip hats. They should just shut up and stand still and show a little disipline. If I were The Mayor, I would make those officers wear poodle costumes. Maybe that would teach them to shut up their hate holes.

Speaking of Hate Holes, when are local bloggers going to focus on importent things like litter or something. All they do is hate hate hate The Mayor. If it were not for the Internet, the only person who would hear them is their pet gerbals that they sometimes do what Richard Gere did to gerbals. Yuk.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I Have Tried to Love The Pirates

From the Spring time of Paris!!!

I am excited for you in Pittsburgh that the baseball has begun. The Pittburgh Pirates are on a winning streak - they have won their first and only game. I hope everyone is enjoying the warm rush of being a winner.

I have tried to embrace American Baseball but it can not fill the hole that has grown with my love of the Steelers Nation. As I try to understand baseball, I often have the following Jean-Paul Satre quotes run through my head...

"All human actions are equivalent and all are on principle doomed to failure. "

"Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance."

"Life begins on the other side of despair. "

"Life has no meaning the moment you lose the illusion of being eternal. "

May be was a Pirate's fan?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

You Must Embrace The Sign With Passion

Hello from the blooming Paris!

I must remind you that I am an outsider from Paris looking into your little world in Pittsburgh. I enjoy to myself thinking of it like the famous Ant Farm that children possess - I am like a giant and through the wonderous glory of the Internet, I am able to look in and see you - the Pittsburghoise - as small ants that go about your duties of wandering around aimlessly and digging holes and giving birth and finding food.

Must I say that I am your biggest fans. If I could, I would have in possession a hand made of foam with the index finger extended to form the number one for you. But I must point out to you when you are making an embaressment of yourselfs. I am talking about the lack of embacing signs!

As all of us people of smartness know, Signs especially large and technologicly superior multicolored LCD television-similar signs show the level of civilization of the residents where the signs exist. As an outsider, I remind you like a parent at the dinner table where you like the child is using the wrong fork - I am kicking you under the table very hard in your legs - shape up and embrace the Sign with passion for you will be seen from the outside as primitive cave people who talk in grunts and throw rocks and wear animal fur as your only form of clothing.

May I also point out that I have formed my own technology company PierreSoft which will provide solutions of software for cities such as Pittsburgh at large amounts of money. I have thoughts of moving my headquarters to Pittsburgh but I am afriad you may be unfriendly to me and my business. Since you are not embracing the latest technology, I am afraid you may brain me by hitting me on the head with your mammoth bone that you have chewed your dinner from. As of now, my headquarters are just my laptop computer (which for you cave people is a computer that is small enough to fit on my lap) but I have visions of my company needing a large building that will scrape the sky! Thus, you must listen to me and appeal to my tastes for I may someday soon be a Person of Vision in your city!

We as smart people of business know that signs are good and they tell us that a city has businesses and show that you are friendly to people like me. When I visit your city, I will be disapointed and full of fear if there is not bright colorful signs to embrace me.

So may I say it again, Cave People, embrace the Sign with the passion you would embrace a lover. While I know you are not as artful of lovers as us in France, you obviously know how to make love since there are births in your city. So embrace limply and unartistly as you might the Signs that will show the world that you to are full of Smartness and like the rest of the civilized world. Please stop being Cave People!

Monday, March 17, 2008

True Man of Vision: Herb Burger

Hello from the Big Paris!

I was surprised to read on your Pittsburgh online Newspaper the grand words of a true man of Vision and Greatness - Mr. Herb Burger.

Where should I start? His essay is like a buffet with many good treats with so much meat your bowels will become stuck.

His call to action is so persuasive I must stand up and shout, "Yes! The City and State must buy more property in the Downtown to give to Men of Business to grow the dream. Plus, add more parking!"

Mr. Burger is a True Cowboy Man of Vision. I adore his statement of "It is time to go beyond planning and studying...." Forget Market Studies. I picture Mr. Burger in a cowboy hat standing next to a pen of angry bulls. His Clint Eastwood eyes are squinted as he surveys the foaming mouths and angry huffing from the angry massive bulls. Which one will he choose? He chooses the most angry bull and then looks over at you and says, "That is the one YOU will ride! I will watch."

What a brilliant man! I always thought of the hero as the person who takes the risk but now I realize that is wrong. The hero is the one who convinces the stupid to put their life on the line. Take D-Day during the great war of two. A smart person does not run at people who are shooting at them. The smart person gets others to run at the people with the guns, thus the generals of D-Day are the true heros for they were not shot at and lived to see success or if they saw failure, they still lived.

How does this translated in Mr. Burger? He is the general. He is calling for the State and the City to put up the money... to take the risk. But what is great is that the stupid people are the people! They will never know they have been shot. They will say, "I do not have money for my loaf of bread" That is what the Bread of Wonder is for!

I now know how things works in the City of Pittsburgh with People of Vision. I can be with them and soar with them.

Mr. Ruterkraus: I would gladly have you take me out to dinner when you visit Paris. We have many great food establishments. I will allow you to take me to the grandest if that is what you desire. Thank you for the offer. While you are not The Mayor, I would take you as an official representative of the Great City of Pittsburgh.

Friday, March 14, 2008

My Supreme Advice For Mr. Ravenstahl

Hello from warming Paris!

I must confess that I have finally recovered from my upsetness at being ignored when Mr. Ravenstahl visited my home town of Paris and missed reaching out and touching me. I felt what the turd from a dog must feel when being deposited on a sidewalk and watching the rear quarters of the dog walk away... "Hello, where must you be going?!?!?! Are you leaving me? Please come back and take me with you! I am becoming cold and stale!" I no longer feel like the turd.

My first supreme advice is......
Make a law banning Van Halen from ever coming to Pittsburgh again. It is clear from the news that they will not be visiting Pittsburgh therefore they see Pittsburgh as the turd. You must show that Pittsburgh is the dog. Ban them forever. I declare that Pittsburgh should declare itself a Van Halen Free Zone and declare the war on them. Van Halen is not what it once was therefore a funeral should be had with crying and then record burning. Signs must be erected to declare the message "Non Viva Van Halen!!"

My second supreme advice is.....
Now you Mr Ravenstahl, must make the sign on the bus station bigger and make your picture appear on it over and over. I have been following confusingly the controversy of the electric sign. You, Mr. Ravenstahl, must show you are the Master Dog of the Pack. Do not let the little dogs of the City Council bark at you. You must make them the turds that they are. Growl at them and declare that now the Electric Sign will be twice as big!!! Then make sure your picture is on the sign between every advertisement. This will send the little dogs the right message. It will be as effective as pissing in their face. Why not now put up 2 signs?

That is all my advice for now. Thank you.

I thought of one other speck of supreme advice...
It appears that a stink has been deposited about the issue of the vehicles that city employees must take home. It appears that the City Council is undermining your authority, Mr. Ravenstahl. May I suggest as it seems your lawyers would agree, the authority to give or take vehicles lays within your bounds. Thus, you should give the Council members that you like a car for their outstanding servitude. I do not know if you have the authority to force people to drive certain vehicles, but if so, may I suggest that you make Mr. Kraus ride a small donkey. And while it may be hard on the donkey, do not plow the monstrous snow or fill the monstrous holes the size of pots on Mr. Kraus's route to his office. Wage your war on snow and holes strategically and have your battle fronts in other areas while your enemies starve and their area turns to desert! Laugh at the man riding the donkey!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

My Thoughts on The Primary

Hello from the Northside - by Strawberry Way

I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming election and I;m really upset.

I have always voted Democrate so I am going to vote for a Democrate no questions asked, but I am having a tough problem. The only woman I have ever voted for was Darlene Harris. So while I could pull the level for Hillary, I don't like how she comes across as ... how do I say it... so unfeminine. I don't know if I can vote for a lesbeing.

When it comes to Barak Obama, it is a whole other ball of wax. I'm not predjudgist but when everyone says he is the next JFK, I squint my eyes when I see him on the tv and he just looks nothing like JFK. He looks looks to dark to be JFK. When I hear them say that he is inexperienced, I know that what they are really trying to say is that black people have only been able to vote for like 40 years and he will likely turn the white house into some sort of gangster rap stars house like those guys in that show my granddaughter likes - pimp my house I think it is called. I just don't think the American people can tolorate our president wearing bunches of gold chains and saying "Yo".

I never thought I'd say this but I am upset with the Democratic Party making me have to choose between these two. I just wish that John Edwards was still running. He was handsome.

I want this website to endorse someone so that I can tell my readers who to vote for. I know in the end, I'll endorse who the democratic party tells me to but it looks like Big Ed Randell is going for Hillary and that makes me want to throw up. So I am going to say it here....

I want the different campaigns to try to convince me why I should endorse their candidate. Send me an e-mail at Remember I run the best website in Pittsburgh and I've had over 2 million hits in less than 9 months so email me.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Leave Luke Allone you Meanies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello from the Northside - Strawberry Way!

There is so much hate in the world and it seems that the blog-o-sphere is so full of it -and it is full of other stuff too!

I can't believe how full of hate the pimple butted latte drinking class of Pittsburgh Blogging is. They can't leave The Mayor alone. He takes some of his hard earned money and writes a check to pay off the use of that SUV and they still can't let it alone. Now they are measuring stuff like how far Harrisburg is. Well, I can tell you, let's say The Mayor took a phone call and talked on the telephone about city business for a few miles while on the PA Turnpike. I think those miles count as offical business. Let's say The Mayor looked out the window and was thinking about the city's problems. I think that counts as official business. So how do those Bloggers sitting in their underwear letting there hate come out of there finger tips and out onto the internets know how much The Mayor was thinkiing of offical business? You can have all the Googles in the world but they can't read peoples minds yet.

Last Week, The Mayor declared war on Potholes and I lukily had a dump truck come down MY street and fill MY potholes. I think The Mayor should send around a Public Works crew to fill in all the pie holes of those hatefilled Pittsburgh Bloggers. Just shovel a hot shovelfull of asphalt into their hate hole and smash it down flat with the shovel!

That all reminds me that I forgot to post the picture of the month from Mr. Tinklebreath who so nicely tried to help me create a calendar for 2008 but the Evil Cafepress wouldn't print it!!!! Cafepress is full of hate!

and here is the one from January which I haven't shown yet...

I don't know how to make the pictures bigger! Ugh. I had done it before but I don't know what to do!!!! I hate blogger!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

My Fans Are Healthy

From Excitable Paris!!!

I often get notes of thanks from fans of my lovely wrtten words, and I wish to share this photo that I graciously recieved!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I Knew Not The Myron Cope but I See He Was Loved

Hello from the Highly Evolving Paris!!!

Every day is a new adventure since I have fallen in love with my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. I would encourage everyone to fall in love with a place they have never seen, but since I too like many wish not to drain the brain of Pittsburgh any more, I encourage all to dream of a Pittsburgh that you have never seen too!

Every day I learn something new and I have learned recently of Mr. Myron Cope. He was the Mascot puppet of the Steelers before they invented the puppet charater Steely Dan that debuted this past football year. While Steely Dan is highly cartooned - he is yellow and carries a steel beam, Mr. Myron was also a cartoon but more like a real man be it a small Leprechaun of a man. Mr. Myron also spoke which is higly different than Steely Dan.

It appears that the creators of The Myron Cope were very detail oriented. They created a new language for their character with phrases borrowed from the Yiddish such as "Yoi" and "Double Yoi" and "Gorgonzola" and "Bungels". This flowery language stuck like a seed in the imagination of the Pittburghquois and The Myron Cope grew in their heart.

As another sign of the true creativity of creators of The Myron, is that they had their charater invent a symbol that has turned into the flag of the Steelers Nation - The Terrible Towel!!! I did not know that The Myron created this towel that I so lovingly twirled and hugged like the blanket of a baby and wiped away my tears when the Steelers ended their football year. What a multipurpose invention. While we do not have a supplier of the Terrible Towel here in France, I relied on my inventiveish and put a black marker to a yellow bathing cloth and created my own. I hold it close to my heart right now as I write these words!

Many must have saw the end of The Myron coming when the Steelers introduced Mr. Steely Dan this past football year, but their hearts finally broke this past week. While I knew not The Myron Cope, my heart is broken too. Let us all cry together around the whole globe of Steeler Nation.

It is clear that the current creators of Mascot Puppetry today lack the skills of the Masters of yesterday. Mr. Steely Dan is a poor substitute that does not even talk. May be Steely Dan will be sent to his grave soon to?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Goodbye Myron Cope

By Strawberry Way

I am so sad that Myron has passed on. I felt about him the same way I felt about my husband. Sometimes I thought he was stupid. Sometimes I liked him. Sometimes he made me happy. The only difference is that my husband is still alive and living on the third floor of my house. What a jaggoff.

I did what most Pittsburghs did when they listened to the Steelers. I would turn on the TV and turn down the sound and turn on the radio and listen to Myron. The biggest problem was when the Steelers games moved to WDVE, I would some times get up in the morning after a game and turn on my radio and I'd hear that awful rock music. I hated that. Or worse I'd turn it on and those jaggoffs Jimmy and Kren would be telling one of their dirty nasty pornographic comedy things. Ugh, I'd almost vomit and my day would be ruined.

Myron was so cute. I sometimes thought he had to be a muppet. When I got my dog, he was so ugly and cute at the same time that I had to name him Myron Cope. So while Pittsburgh doesn't have the real Myron Cope, I still have my ugly mutt Myron to keep me company.

When I'd be watching Steelers games, I often felt like me and Myron were drinking IC Light together. He was my drinking partner. We laughed together. We cried together. We yelled nonesense together. He will be missed.

One of my fondest memories of my life was when the whole Terrible Towel thing took off thanks to Myron. My son Frankie loved his Terrible Towel. He would wear it around like a cape and called himself Super Steelers Man. For one Christmas when Frankie was like 10, I thought I'd do something nice so I made him a quilt made out of about 20 terrible towels sowed together. I'm not a good sower so when the first night he slept with it my hisband and me were woken up by my son screaming. We ran in and my quilt had fallen apart and Frankie was so tangled up in it that he was trapped. My husband and I doubled over laughing. My husband had to go get his camera. It looked like Little Frankie was getting eaten by the Terrible Towl Monster. It is one of my favorite photos with Frankie screaming and yelling. It is cute.

So good by Myron. Whenever I pet my dog Myron. I'll think of you. When ever I let my dog Myron lick the rim of my beer can, I'll think of it as a tribute to you.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


This is Strawberry Way! All so known as ILuvLuke!

I BET you thought the Headline would be "I AM SO MAD!!!!!" But notice that it says "GLAD!" And it is not just because I have given up being Mad for Lent! It is because Brian O'Neill has finally said something that I would have said! You can read it hear -link!

Especially when he says...

"But unless more saps step forward to support the lottery, 14 casinos and the
thousands of poker machines in corner bars, we are threatening our carefully
designed plans to help seniors, reduce property taxes and nurture small
Frankly, I blame our younger generation. These kids, with their hip
and their hop, their iPods and their energy drinks, don't play these games the
way their parents and grandparents do."

AMEN! The younger genration needs to buy more lottery tickets. I think somehow the Pittsburgh Promise should be tied into buying Lottery tickets to teach these kids something and to teach them that helping Seniors like me is a good thing. How about you only get your Pittsburgh Promise money if you hit the numbers? Or they should put poker machines in the schools and if you win, that is how much money you get? I don't think it is right to just give kids money without them working for it.

Thank you Mr. O'Neill for pointing the way for the kids today to be part of THE SOLUTION and not part OF THE PROBLEM. I still might get property tax relief before I die!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Our 2 Millionth Visitors

Hello, this is Strawberry Way and over the weekend I was talking to my Granddaughter Tiffany who helped me create this Blog. She was checking over My Blog and she told me that we have had over two million people visit this website since I started it last summer!!!

That is a lot of people. I don't know how she can tell who is visiting but she is good at computers. She said that she hasn't even had that many people visit her facebook page (whatever that is).

So I guess I am doing something right so thanks for stopping by. Again I think that proves I really do have the Best Blog in Pittsburgh.

So in the spirit of the Academy Awards I'm giving my self the following awards....

Best Blog in Pittsburgh - ILuvLuke
Best Blog in Pittsburgh by an Old Person - ILuvLuke
Best Blog in Pittsburgh that has a gay person and a French Person - ILuvLuke
Best Blog in Pittsburgh that Likes the Mayor - ILuvLuke

So there you go! God Bless!

Thursday, February 21, 2008


Hello good friends from my home of Paris!

While I have never experienced the drink of Iron City on my lips as of yet, I am very excited to read the state of Pennsylvania believes in this traditional beer enough to give the brewer the big money. I read it here.

I see that they hope to brew 327,000 barrels of beer in a year. If a half barrel is 15 1/2 gallons. a full barrel is 31 gallons. That is 10,137,000 gallons of beer.

If the city of Pittsburgh has a population of 325,337 , that is about 31 gallons per person. That works out to be about 11 ounces of beer per person per day of the year. So that means that every single person in the city drinks one bottle of beer a day regardless if they are a child or a handicap! That means each person drinks a barrel of beer a year.

I am so proud of you Pittsburgh. I have often seen Pittsburgh refered to as a football city with a drinking problem but at one beer a day, I do not see this as a problem.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The List of Who to Hate would be to long!!!!!!!

Some people have been talking in the comments about having a list of who to hate so it would be easy to know who to hate and who to like. Well, the list would be to long so I'll just sort of add to it as we go along....

Todays paper gives us so much stuff!

1) Riverlife Task Force - HATE -
There is this letter to the editor that caputures it perfectly. Every day we wait to get the caSINo opened, the more our town is going to die. I am going to blame every single problem on this group until the caSINo opens. Obviously they only care about riverLIFE and don't care about land LIFE. If I started a group called Street Life Task Force would that allow me control the sidewalks or the buildings that I see from the street? These people need to stick to the river and worry about the fish or the mud and muck that is on the bottom of the river.
This guy who wrote the letter has lived some other places like New York and San Francisco and he travels a lot so he obviously knows more than us who hardly ever leave our neighborhoods and if we want to attract people like him we need to get the caSINO built right now! Plus, he points out that Mr. Barden is black and it might just be racism that is making the riverlife task force hate him. Just let him build his caSINO! I don't care if he makes it of cardboard. We need property tax relief and we need slot NOW!

2) Pat Ford - Like -
While he is one of the most handsomest men in government, we don't get to see enough pictures of him! He is trying to do some good stuff and a bunch of haters don't trust him. He is just trying to do good stuff. Don't people understand that if we don't do stuff fast nothing will get done and we will be a ghost town with tumble weeds rolling down the street. All the stuff of having public hearings and sueing people who are trying to do good things will just scare people way.
I think Mr. Ford captures it perfectly, "I like signs," said Mr. Ford. "It tells us that we're vibrant, that we're lively, that we like business." We heare at ILuvLuke say more signs! Actually we should put a whole bunch up that say exactly what mr. Ford said. They should say "We like signs. We like Business." so for our next section...

3) Signs - Like -

4) Ruth Ann Daily - Hate -
She has a whole collum about how she hates signs! So now when you see downtown become a ghost town, we can blame Ruth Ann. She hates Pittsburgh and she is going to scare everything good away. I sometimes think all the problems of Pittsburgh can be followed right back to Ruth Ann Daily's doorstep. She is one of the most powerful women in Pittsburgh. Her and Ellise Hillman want to destroy Pittsburgh and make it a Repulican waste land.

So I hope you like our list and we hope it helps you know who to like and hate. This should make life easier for everyone. God Bless.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Snow Fells On Your Pretty City!!

Hello from Paris where we are given an average of 11 inches of snow all winter.....

I read that the people of my adoptable Pittsburgh were plugged into their homes as the fury of Mrs. Mother Nature brutalized you with her wailing fists of frigid weather and snow filled karate chop of snow and dibilitating ice hammers that curtained your roadways with glistening frosting of frozen rain like the slick coverings of donuts and pastries against a backdrop of a fog of blowing snow that appeared like the dandriff of the great god zeus and would give little jack frost a scare so much his heart would stop and his dead body would be like a frozen capon sitting in the sub zero freezer of God waiting to be turned to a nice jack frost beef stew with a Burgundy juice with roasted carrots and onion! With that, I am so please to communicate with you my Pittsburghois. I hope and pray that you are following the life styles of the northern Eskimo who still live among you for your own survival.

I have followed on your news broadcasts on the television that are on the internet the disasters that have befallen you. Schools are closed! Through the wonder of the internet even I in Paris know that the Cuddlebear Day Care in your town of Braddock was closed! The highways are full of cars that are slipping into each other. The news reporters are forced to stand live in the galls!

One thing I find puzzling about your News Reports is how the reporter will start their report lets say about unplowed streets by standing on the sidewalk and then walking into the street until you as the viewer can see the whole street that is unplowed. Why must they be walking. Why not start with standing in the street?

Plus, why so many reports that are "Live"? I will see the reporters standing in a dark parking lot that appears to be directly across from your grand City Building talking about a council meeting or a law trial that day. Why must a reporter be forced to stand in front of a building that is obviously closed with nothing going on to make their LIVE broadcast report? Is this just Pittsburgh or all of American?

One last thing, I am terrified by the Severe Weather Center on the one broadcast. When I first found it, I believe that the weather in Pittsburgh was so bad all the time that if I ventured there on my quest I would surely be taking my life in my own hands. But then I realized that even if it is sunny in Pittsburgh the Severe Weather Center is still reporting. Could they not set up a Mild Weather Center or a Pleasent Weather Center and report from there when appropriate? I wonder how many people not as smart as I have been frightened from visiting your pleasent city because they are fearful of the severe weather?

and finally, may I continue to petetion your People of Vision to at the very least fly me to your fair town to demostrate my software creation to better aid your city... link

Friday, February 15, 2008


BY Me Strawberry Way:

There is all this humb bub (how do you spell that? hub bub? Hum bup?) Anyway, people are getting all worked up in the Burgh-o - Spere about a report on KDKA about how politicians get there streets plowed first. Here is the story...

I have a couple things about this....
First, The Mayor said that he wanted his street plowed last but Guy Costa (who I'm not sure if I'm supose to hate him or not could some one tell me?) said that he plows The Mayors street first. I am sick of hearing all these local bloggers saying stuff like,
"Oh, the Mayor doesn't want his street plowed so can call in sick to work."
"Hey they don't plow secordary streets for 36 hours so the mayor can take 1 1/2 days off!"
"he likes sled riding on his street so that's why he doesn't want it plowed."
"Lukie calls Guy, 'I made a real nice snow man in the middle of my street. Plow my street last so I can show it to my mom."
"I bet Luke Puke likes making snow angels in the street."
"Did Marty Griffin check to see the real smoking snow fort Lukey made in front of his house."
"Luke doesn't want the salt truck to come down his street until he comes home from work because he likes throwing snow balls at it."
I can't believe people are making fun of The Mayor this way. We need to find out who are saying these things and give them a big spanking (now that it is Lent and I am being NICE, a spanking seems like a nice thing compared to what I would have recommened when I was MEAN!)

Another thing, All these bloggers are getting all wierd because Darlene Harris has video camera to watch when the salt trucks come up her street. Well, first, I am sure she has those cameras because of all the wierdo bloggers that are out there. I'm sure she has a bunch of guns in her house also. Hopefully, Marty Griffin will do a story about "How are local politicians protecting themselves from the crazy wack job bloggers of Pittsburgh!" While part of me thinks that the city should buy video cameras forall elected officials and democratic committee people for their own protection, the other part of me doesn't want to pay anymore taxes to do that.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


I know there are tons of people who wish I were dead but I'm not. I'm still being nice and I've even given up being mean for Lent!!!!

But I just have something to say - and I don't think it is mean ....


I noticed that the city schools are closed today because of snow and yesterday they were delayed because IT WAS COLD!!!!!! I never remember not having to go to school because it was COLD!!!! No wonder kids today are turning to such puddles of lard!!!! We are raising a generation of fat little pansies who are going to wilt at the slightest problem.

I know I AM OVERWEIGHT but do we really want to have a genration of young people who have to waddle like lobsters to get to school? If we don't do something about this younger genration, the only young people left in Pittsburgh are going to be the fat kids who can't waddle out of the city.

Here is what we have to look forward too...

Thursday, February 7, 2008

My Heart Flutters with HOPE!!!!

Dispatched from the Fair City of Paris

I admit that my anger has been boiling me like a tea kettle. I read somewhere that the Grand Mayor Luke Ravenstahl was in my town of home Paris. I would be understanding if he wished not to connect with me for he was traveling with his wife and I must truthfully admit that my town was built for Love and for the virgin traveler when taking that first drink of this city the intoxication would make any virgin traveler giddy and forgetful of the goings on of the real world and wish to forever spend days and nights in the bed. So I was understanding if the Mayor wished not to contact me.

But then I read, that he had a breakfast where he showed an exciting Point Of Power Presentation. People were invited by email but I failed to recieve an invitation. I had not felt such anger since Van Halen dismissed my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. We know where that anger got me and you - Van Halen relented and will be visiting you next month!!!

I was so very close to destroying my Pittsburgh scrapebook that I have created. For to long I had tolorated the taunts of my friends, family and co-worker who called me Donnie Quixote (which they pronounced Donnie as "Daawn-nee" as they imaged a True Pittsburgher would say). Poor Andre was named "Sancho" as if he were my earthly squire!

But I have gained strength through this name and in my darkest hour of last night I thought "What would the true Don Quixote do?" I call for a vision to show me the way on my quest.

This morning, my call was answered when I read your paper and saw this article - Vive la Downtown! Business grants available to instill a touch of Paris.

I shall be the touch? Was this a sign? The program is called Paris to Pittsburgh which makes me think of myself traveling there! What could be more Parisian than a Parisian! I would be more than willing to properly display the flowers in front of your shops. I would be more than willing to develop my mime show. Every day your people of business could spend a lovely two hours of their lunch time experiencing a show I will develop entitled titled "Mime Time with Pierre". If this will get me to my adoptable city, I shall do it!

My heart has been lifted as like a butterfly. There is hope in the world! Has this plan been planned all along by the Great Mayor?

I may soon be joining all of YINZ!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Happy Birthday, Mayor!!!!

I know you all wish I were dead, but I made a new years resolution that I would be nice this year. It all started when my family ruined my CHRISTmas dinner by talking about how mean I am. I made a vow to myself that I was going to be nice all year so next CHRISTmas dinner I can tell them how nice I have been and then show them the long list of what jaggoffs they all are.

So far I have let everyone watch MY television set and eat MY snacks on MY couch. I even let my grandson's mother take me to see the V*gina Monologs!!!! So far I have not complained. My Jaggoff list is getting long and being nice has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

By the way, Mr. Tinklebreath (the greatest graphic desginer in Pittsburgh and a big fan of this website) made a calendar that we could sell on Cafepress. The Happy Birthday graphic above was for the month of February. The problem was Cafepress didn't want to print it so now I am left with all these great graphics that I am going to post through the year.

Thank you Mr. Tinklebreath.

Plus, I have been emailing with Pierre and he is really hart broken that he wasn't invited to The Mayor's breakfast in Paris. I've told him that it had to be a mistake. He wanted to start a blog named IDislikeLuke. I told him to take some deep breaths. Hopefully he will come back to the fold.

Happy Birthday Mayor!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Quest For My Love?

Hello from the shining other Cultural Capital Paris!!

I give thanks to all for the support I am recieving in my quest. I with full truth feel I may be able to save your city. How may you explain that I have falling in love with a strange city on the other side of the world.

In Paris, we are use to visitors who come to our city who have dreams of making love to our city. Some since childhood have dreamed of a romantic city with such dreams of spring time in Paris or kissing under the Eiffel Tower. These images did not develop overnight. For centuries, we in France have cultivated such images like small plantings of flowers waiting for the blooming. Plus, we found long ago when searching for young women to make love to what better way to bring a weak kneed forgien girl with romantic dreams in her head right to you!!! They stay for a few days, fall in love, make love and then leave! We Parisians are not as dumb as you think. Have the mouse come to you, Cat!

I share this with you in Pittsburgh for hope that you can learn. Think of your visions of your city like a muscle. Exercise you visionary muscle every day!