Wednesday, October 31, 2007

What Kind of Dish?

After writing the brief "Outrage!" entry (see below) I was not going to blog anymore today. I have to get ready for the big Halloween party. But, I was reading the Post Gagette again, which, as you know, makes me gag. And I found something about some more insightful reporting which they plan to do. Check this out! It's from the "need your help" section of the web site. They need help writing an article about people's favorite serving dishes used for Holiday meals. I can hardly wait for the shocking coverage of this late-breaking news: Suburban Woman Loves Serving Stuffing in Pyrex Bowl! Or, how about the following groundbreaking expose? Shadyside Couple Uses a Platter they Bought in Provence! (P.S. Provence is a place in France. Shadyside people go there all the time.)

These kinds of stories are even more newsworthy than most of the stuff you see on WPXI. So, it did get me to wondering. What serving dishes would our mayoral candidates prefer?

I was thinking that ReSantis would probably prefer one of those gold-plated shovels that Republicans get when they go to groundbreakings for giant corporate office parks in places like Southpointe and Cranberry. ReSantis would use this shovel to serve up big helpings of b**ls**t! The shovel must be ReSantis' favorite serving dish. And I think he uses it all the time to serving steaming, heaping portions in his big downtown loft which is not even really in a Pittsburgh neighborhood.

Our Mayor Luke would probably prefer a dish that had been handed down through generations of Ravenstahls and was given to his wife as a wedding present by Luke's grandmother. It would probably be something in the shape of a pilgrim or a turkey, which show Luke's patriotism. I'll bet Luke and his wife use this dish when they serve thanksgiving to all of their neighbors in Summer Hill, which is a true Pittsburgh neighborhood.

I was just thinking that this would be another good reason to vote for Luke! Re Santis probably doesn't even have any serving dishes in the shape of turkeys or pilgrims! I think High tech people like ReSantis are all communists even though they are republicans. And everyone knows communists hate Turkeys because turkeys stand for freedom. Everybody also knows the Pilgrims broke away from England on the first thanksgiving so we could eat turkey and taste freedom! Luke commemorates freedom when he serves food on his turkey or pilgrim platter so a vote for Luke is a vote for freedom!


I cannot believe that the Gagette did not mention Strawberry Way and this blog in their article about women bloggers, which Pierre mentions in his post this morning (see below). I have written the following letter to the writer:

Miss MacKenzie Carpenter,

I cannot believe that your article in the Post Gagette (my knickname for your newspaper, ask Tim McNutty about it) failed to mention the ILuvLuke blog ( and its creator, Strawberry Way. Not only is it Pittsburgh's best blog, but it was started by a woman.

P.S. Are you any relation to two of my favorite singers, The Carpenters? Also, I wondered if you might be named after the great actress from
One Day at a Time MacKenzie Phillips. Please let me know.

A Quick Note From Me For I Am Very Busy

Hello from the Great City of Paris in the Great Country of Steeler Naton!

I must write fast for I must hook up two Laser Printers today for my job and remove one paper jam.

I was able to watch the Steelers win with my new Pittsburgh convert Andre at his work of place in the department store in the suburbs. It was fantastic to watch the Steelers trample the Cincinnati Pussy Cats! My record continues with never watching a game where the Steelers have lost. I look forward to watching the Steelers beat the Pussys again in December!!!

I missed mention of Strawberry Way as a Great Woman Blogger in your paper this morning?

In one week, I am counting the days until Mr. Ravenstahl winsfor the First Time as Mayor!!!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Ravenstahl WINS The Endorsement From This Website

This website has chosen to endorse Luke Ravenstahl for Mayor of Pittsburgh.

For us, it was an obvious choice because he is the best candidate.

Mr. Ravenstahl has the experience of being Mayor while the other guy does not. Think about it. If you were having brain surgery would you go with the guy who has actually been in an operating room? Or would you go with the guy who has "some good ideas" on how to do brain surgery? We would stick with the one with experience.

The Mayor, besides being one of the best looking mayors during our lifetime, has gotten the youngsters of the city excited about the future. There is a whole generation of Pittsburgh kids who can now say, "If that guy can do it, I can to!" The Mayor has shown that greatness is within reach for all of us. Now these kids instead of sitting there thinking, "Dude, I'll never be great because I am lame." They can now say, "I can reach greatness no matter what." That is what they call inspiring hope which is what The Mayor has done.

The Mayor has a grand vision for the city and that is nice. It is like having our own little JFK right here in Pittsburgh. And the great thing is that he is young and he can be mayor for a very long time. Many people are jealous of him because he is young. Us older people like him but it seems to be the middle age people who have wasted their youth smoking dope and listening to rock music are the ones who are his harshest critics because they wish they were in his young fancy shoes. They are the ones who wish they could be out until 2am going to concerts but instead they are stuck with their miserable lives sitting behind their keyboards blogging. They are also the ones who wasted their lives getting masters degrees instead of actually doing real things that normal 27 year olds do. We must remember Envy is one of the deadly sins.

The Mayor has brought out the best in the city. Take for example this Blog. If it were not for The Mayor, this Blog won't be around.

So in conclusion, we endorse Luke Ravenstahl for Mayor.

[There you go. There is our endorsement. And unlike the Post Gazette, we didn't spend half of it being all negative about that poo head other guy who is running for Mayor.]

Sunday, October 28, 2007


As you might no, I don't like Blogging on Sunday or on Steelers Days but when I opened my paper this morning and saw that they ENDORSE RESANTIS I layed a stream of vomit across my kitchen floor!!!!!!!!!

I am so mad I know I'll have to buy a new pack of cigerettes for today and I have already needed an IC Light to calm down. Good thing I went to 4 oclock mass last night because today is going to be a tough day!

Since I don't want to blog to much today, I am going to make my announcement of who this blog endorses for Mayor tomorrow!!!!

REmember ReSantis wants the Bengals to win today./

Friday, October 26, 2007

My New Fantastic Story

Hello from Paris...

In my last post, I stated about the future "the local boggers will complain with things like "Grand Mayor Luke Ravenstahl XI took a GMC Space Defender 3000 which is actually a Home Solar System Security Space Craft to see the Tiger Woods cyborg replicant that was grown from actual Tiger Woods DNA.""

I enjoy the science fiction. So I have written the following story of shortness.....

My brain phone in the center of my brain was ringing. I answered it and it was The Grand President of All The Americas, Luke Ravenstahl.

"Pierre, I know you are in your grand penthouse apartment in Paris right now, and you have been such a grand help in making Pittsburgh the Capital of the All The Americas, but I need a personal consultation with you. Are you available?"

I checked my calendar. "My secretary has me leaving for my vacation house in Japan in a few hours to spend the weekend with Lindsy Lohan who is now clean and sober, but I will delay my trip and come to Pittsburgh now." I told the Grand President.

I jumped on the Maglev train from Pittsburgh to Paris that was built at a cost of $110000 trillion dollars and despite the expense, I was able to make it to Pittsburgh in 20 minutes. A parade of black limos met me at the Maglev station and drove me with police escort to "the Green Zone". We drove through the heavy guardians surrounding Grant Street Area. And I rode the solid gold evelator to the 80th floor of the City County Grand Capital of All The Americas Building that led me directly to Mr. Ravenstahl's office.

The elevator door opened and Mr. Ravenstahl stood up from behind his desk.

"Pierre, it is so good to see you. It has been so long." He came from behind his desk and shook my hand and we gave each other the european kiss on the two cheeks.

"Pierre, here is a cigar and a gobblet of scotch from Mr. Ford." Mr. Ravenstahl lit my cigar and the scotch tasted grand.

"Pierre, you have done so much for me but also for helping to make the Great City of Pittsburgh into the Capital of All of The Americas. You might think I might have forgotten that today is your birthday?"

I was surprised that with all the great things that Mr. Ravenstahl must keep in his mind that he would remember my humble birthday. "Sir, I am surprise."

"You are surprised now? Just wait." He motioned for me to walk over to a tall grand window. I walked over and we were so high up you could see all of Pittsburgh below.

"Happy Birthday, Pierre." Mr. Ravenstahl said and he pointed toward Mountain Washington. On the top was a 500 foot tall gold statue of myself looking out over Pittsburgh.

A tear grew in my eye. It was the greatest honor to be recognized for all my hard work in helping to make Pittsburgh the greatest city it had become.

The End

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

ReSantis-Satan: Is There a Connection?

Do NOT have Little Frankie dress up in his communion suit for Trick or Treat!!!! Oh my God, no! Halloween is the devil's holiday, and he does not like it one bit when trick or treaters dress like they are going to eat the body and and drink the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ on his holiday. (By the way, does anybody give that out on Halloween?) No, I am telling you Satan would not like this one bit. No matter how cute Little Frankie looks! I am afraid Satan might get so mad he would cause ReSantis to get elected, and we cannot have that. You know how Satan is! He has the power to make people vote wrong (that is, republican). Oh my God, wait! I just figured something out! ReSantis might BE Satan. Look: mArk deSANTis!!!!! All the letters are there you just have to rearrange them. Letters do not lie. Well, this as all the more reason to vote for Luke, who looked so cute in his first communion outfit. We know Luke is not Satan!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Warning To Parents In The City Who Are Going To Take Their Kids Tricker Treating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are a parent and you live in the city and you are planning on taking your little precious ones out for Tricker Treating, don't go to any houses that have "ReSantis" signs in there yards.

Rumor has it that besides filling your kids bag up with a bunch of campain material, they are also going to be passing out really bad treats. Rumor has it that they are going to be passing out the following...

- Apples! ORGANIC APPLES! How awful!
- They are going to be passing out something called "Veggie Bootie" which is like little pieces of cardboard that is covered with veggitable dust. It is what they feed their kids instead of Cheese Doodles.
- They are going to be getting rid of all the left over vegitables from their local organic farm subscriptions which is where they get boxes of useless vegitables that "are in season" so your kid is going to end up with brussel sprouts and spinach and squash and maybe a head of cabbage.
- They might also give out toothbrushes. Or stuff about saving the planet!
- Beaware of stuff covered in "carob"!!! It looks like chocolate but ITS NOT. It is made of vegitables and they cover their dog biscuts with it so they can give their dogs chocolate because they think chocolate will give their dogs heart attacks.

Unless you want your kids to cry, don't go Tricker Treating at any ReSantis households!!!

I keep telling my grandson Little Frankie that if he is not good we are only going Tricker Treating at ReSantis houses. Then I tell him if he is not really good I'm going to dress him up like ReSantis (where I'd make him wear the frankenstien outfit he wore last year). But I really want him to go as the Little Luke Ravenstahl where he would wear his first communion suit and look all nice. That will be so great! So that little jaggoff better behave.

Debate Roundup....

Luke Ravenstahl wins.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Words And A Video That Shall Inspire Generations

Hello From the Steeler Nation State of Paris France:

I must confess that I could not stay up and find a place to watch the Steelers game this morning. I fill with sorrow at their lose. I am seeing a trend where the games that I have failed to see are the ones where the Steelers have lost! I have yet to watch the Steelers lose, but from now on I will make every effort to watch them to prevent any future loses.

I found a statement by Mr. Ravenstahl in the "Gagette" (I do not understand why people call it that but they find it funny so I will call it that too). You must scoll past the rotted words of The ReSantis but you will find Mr. Ravenstahl's statement like a flower at the bottom of the webpage.

My favorite line is when he says,
"It is my goal to make Pittsburgh the kind of place that my future children and grandchildren will choose to call home, just as I have."
I think we are having a hint of some future news! You might remember that over the summer when Mr. Ravenstahl and his wife went on vacation, I set forth the theory that in three months there would be an announcement of a future offspring! I wonder if this is the news. It has been three months. And it is inspiring that he knows his children will have children! May there be Ravenstahls running the City of Pittsburgh for Generations to come! By then, the local boggers will complain with things like "Grand Mayor Luke Ravenstahl XI took a GMC Space Defender 3000 which is actually a Home Solar System Security Space Craft to see the Tiger Woods cyborg replicant that was grown from actual Tiger Woods DNA."

I have tumbled on this wonderful video that shall inspire generations. Did they have a video like this for The ReSantis? Not that I would like to see it but does it show him riding polo ponies as a child?

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Police Hate Pittsburgh!!!!

I just read that the Police Union endorsed ReSantis.

I guess we should change the police motto to:
"To Serve [expressos] and Protect [Shadyside Yuppies with their Apple laptop computers]"

I don't understand why they hate Pittsburgh so much. Have they been breaking into the evidence room and smoking some of that demon dope?

Next time I see a cop, I am going to have to ask him what is going on. But now I'll be afraid he'll want to give me a hug or try to read me some beatnik poetry. Am I going to be safe in my neighborhood? It doesn't have a coffee shop with bongo playing hippies so will the police still be coming around to my nieghborhood?

I'll bet you a million dollars that IF by some freaky wierd thing that ReSantis wins (hahahhaha) , we'll be seeing the police driving around in VW Beetles or in Cooper Minis!!!!! Then they might be riding those Segway goofy things.

When they are running after a crook are they going to say, "PLEASE stop." When they are negogiating with some gun man holed up in a house are they going to say, "Come on out, you look like you need a big hug." And when they are reading them their rights, they will say "You have the right to a grande mocha with whipped cream on top!"

I am so confused! Are the cops going to be getting more fashion coordinated uniforms? Maybe start wearing those stretchy tight biker shorts? Are they all going to start drinking designer bottled water and doing group yoga? UGH!!!!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Stop Promoting ReSantis

ILuvLuke Gets Results! Update: After I invited Tim McNutty from the Post Gagette to view Pittsburgh's Best Blog, he wrote to me saying he will publish a profile of our lovely Luke in Sunday's Gagette! I hope the profile will be truthful and show the real Luke to Pittsburgh! - Gay4Luke

[I totally missed this post from Gay4Luke yesterday and I think it is so great I'm making it the top story today - ILuvLuke(Strawberryway)]

There has been so much nasty news reporting recently about our Mayor Luke that I have been feeling really bad. So, Saturday night, I went out for a hard night of partying at some of my favorite gay bars. I went to bed feeling pretty good. But, what do you think I woke up to Sunday morning? No, not that you silly goose! (I wish!) Get your mind out of the gutter. This is a family-friendly blog! No, it was this! An appalling article in the terrible Mayor Ravenstahl-bashing Post Gazette by that horrid Luke-hating Tim McNulty. He has pretty much written a campaign ad for DeSantis! It makes me so mad I cannot see straight!

They're just basically saying that DeSantis is so great. That is a complete slap in the face to Luke, who is doing such a good job as mayor. Next thing you know the Post-Gazette will come out and endorse DeSantis--and then they will be just like that piece of Dick Scaife's used toilet paper, the Tribune Review. I wonder if David Shribman is actually Dick Scaife in disguise! Probably all that stuff about Dickie and Ritchie Scaife's icky divorce is just a ploy to make us think the Post Gazette is not another one of Dickie's hobbies. Dick Scaife is the kind of man who gives the word dick a bad name! Anyway, I digress, this article made me so upset it had me gagging, so now I am going to call it the Pittsburgh Post GAGette!

I want to say a few things about what is wrong with this article. But, first I want to write about the whole thing about Luke using the Homeland Security Vehicle (HSV) for going to the concert and out to bars. Luke is the Mayor, so he has to know how the HSV works! What better way to do this than test drive it? I feel better knowing that Luke knows how to operate the HSV, because I want Luke to be ready to take his rightful place behind the wheel when the terrorists come!! Just as Luke is behind the wheel driving our great city, so he should also be behind the wheel of the HSV. Besides, there were not any homeland security incidents the night of the Toby Keith Concert (well, unless you consider crappy country music to be a terroristic threat to National Security! I do!). And if there are no homeland security threats, then why shouldn't somebody make good use of the HSV? Everybody knows that cars work better when you drive them a lot!

Well, back to Tim McNuTTy's (notice my new knickname for the writer!) Post Gagette article. It says that DeSantis supported Rick Santorum. Well, in the words of Ricky Ricardo, DeSantis has "got some 'shplaining to do" before he gets my vote, no matter how much Post Gagette wants me to give it to him. Rick Santorum? Puh-lease! it is not for nothing that his name is also a dirty, dirty word which I cannot repeat here (look it up). The people of PA kicked Santorum out on his self-righteous fag-hating lilly white a*s, so we are not about to vote for any Republican mayor here in Pittsburgh, no matter what Tim McNutty and the Post Gagette try to tell us to do. Which, last time I checked, Pittsburgh was still part of the great state of PA. Of course, Luke does not support Santorum so that is a big bonus in his favor instead of ReSantis (I like this knickname!). Mr. McNutty does not mention that Luke does not support Santorum, so this is the first problem with the article.

Second, the other thing I did not like about the article was how it tells us that Mark ReSantis is so great because he is a high-tech executive and has gone to Washington DC and all sorts of stuff! So what? Who cares? Luke probably went to Washington once on a high school field trip or something! Didn't everybody? I certainly did and I am here to tell you that it is not all that great. Congress is spelled B O R I N G! Once was enough for me. You cannot even get decent peirogie there! Our 27 year old mayor has been busy running the City and going on Letterman to promote our city, and meeting celebrities. He certainly doesn't have time to go to Washington DC all the time and schmooze with a bunch of dumb politicians, especially when the place is filled with Republicans! Besides, Luke has not yet had time to become a high tech executive because he has devoted his entire 27 years to selflessly pursuing a public service career, not to becoming a zillionaire. So, that's a whole bunch more things wrong with the article!

Fourth, ReSantis is not married and does not have a family. The article says that he has devoted his life to being a workaholic and has not had time for a family. Doesn't he go out to bars and meet women who might want to marry him? At least Luke is married and has a nice wife. And they still enjoy setting a good example by going to bars and Toby Keith concerts with their friends and mingling with the public! The article does not mention this but I think it is important for our mayor to be married so that we can have a first lady of Pittsburgh. This is an important job! Think of all the good Mona Murphy did for our city while Tom was Mayor. I do not think the Post Gagette should be promoting a man to be mayor who nobody will even marry! Of course they never talk about this because they do not want Luke to be our Mayor anymore. So there is another problem with the article. They are trying to tell us to vote for an unmarried man to be Mayor!

Of course, I suppose maybe ReSantis could be gay, but I doubt it because he is not very good looking. And if he were gay, that would be okay because I think it is time for Pittsburgh to have a gay mayor! Why won't anyone who is gay run for mayor?! All of the potential gay mayors keep dropping out of the race, which is too bad. I would vote for a gay mayor and his partner to be the male "first lady of Pittsburgh!" If ReSantis is gay, the Mr. Tim McNutty should tell us, so that's another problem with the article. It does not tell us if ReSantis is unmarried because he is an man loving gay or just because he is a misogynistic woman hating jerk. And to think that they accuse Luke of hating women just because of that whole police protection from abuse nonsense!

ReSantis also worked for the First President Bush and the article tells us this as if we should be impressed by it. We're not. It obviously means that ReSantis is a Republican (which we already knew, of course) but how can they think a Republican can be Mayor of Pittsburgh? They are just so stupid!

Finally, this is the last thing about the article that is really dumb. Who cares how ReSantis pronounces the word "Measure?" They are trying to tell us that because he pronounces it wrong, he is not a true Pittsburgher, so he would be a good Mayor. Because, since he is a foreigner, he knows what is best for us. That makes me so mad I could spit!!! I don't want some guy from Mercer County (Where is that anyway? Ohio?) coming in here and telling me what to do. Only real Pittsburghers like Luke can know what is best for Pittsburgh and Pittsburghers

I don't know what is going on over there at the Post Gagette. But it is their job to report the truth to promote our city and our mayor and make sure we all look good. But then they go off and publish some nonsense promoting somebody who is running against our mayor. Somebody who is not even a democrat! They are supposed to support our City which is all democrats so they have made a big mistake by practically telling us to vote for ReSantis! I demand that Tim McNutty and the Post-Gagette give Luke equal time and write nice truthful things about him so that the Democrats of this City can make an informed choice for Mayor in November!

Updated: My New Letter to the Editor

Hello from glorious Paris...

After seeing this awful cartoon in your newspaper, I was called to action to send a letter to its editor. Here is the following text:

I am a long distance fan of the city of Pittsburgh and a proud member of the Steeler's Nation and I live in the other great city that starts with the letter P - Pittsburgh! It upsets me greatly to see your cartoonist Rob Rogers depict the young Mayor Ravenstahl as a Baby Mayor sitting in a baby chair. This dipiction wounds me like an arrow through the heart. It is clear that Mr. Rogers is very envious of the Mayor. I believe the next time he submits a doodle of the mayor as a Baby you should sit him down and try to work through with him why he feels so much hate. As his boss, it is the only compassionate thing to do except to fire him.
When doing my research on the internet about Mr. Rogers of Pittsburgh, I am surprised that a person so full of hate as Mr. Rogers was allowed to have a television show for children and that the city wants to put a statue in his honor near the casino. Pittsburgh always surprises me with its liberalism and acceptance of all things. I just wish Mr. Rogers would practice what he preaches and be a good nieghbor to the Mayor.

Update: I recieved the following from the Post Gazette Web Master...

Rob Rogers is a cartoonist for the Post-Gazette.Fred Rogers (host of the award-winning children's show Mr. Rogers'sNeighborhood) is a totally different person, unrelated to ourcartoonist.
Jody FarrWebmaster, post-gazette.com412-263-3571

I am so sorry Mr. Fred Rogers for dragging you into the muck and associating you with the Doodle Artist Rob Rogers. Please forgive me.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Advice For Ruth Ann Daily

I'm not a Bible thumper so don't think I'm one of those crazy people.

I posted a thing earlier today about how upset I was at a collum by Ruth Ann Daily. I tried to find some Bible quotes to send to Ruth Ann Daily pointing out that the Bible says you shouldn't pick on people who are in power like the Mayor but I didn't find any. I did find the following which I think she'll find inspirational... [click on the picture for the link]

Such Nice Stuff and Such Evil Awful Stuff

First a nice letter to the editor from Connie Dusak from the North Side. The best part is when she says,

"Just like a fair-weather fan, Pittsburghers will jump off and on Luke's bandwagon, depending on what the media shout from the rooftops. My advice to you, Pittsburgh: Do some thinking on your own. Show up on Election Day and vote for the 27-year-old mayor who has proved himself to be a true man among men."

Hear that! Do your own thinking and do what Connie says and vote for the 27-year-old mayor. The Mayor has truely proven he is a true man among men. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Second on a true evil note, Ruth Ann Daily has gone bonkers!!!! In her article yesterday, she tries to make fun of The Mayor but I have to admit I don't understand half of what she is saying. Usually I can count on Ms. Daily to give me some spiritual guidance on things even though it is usually wrong, but this collum is TOTALLY NUTS. At one point she channels the spirit of Popeye!?!?!?!?!

I might not be the smartest toaster in the kitchen but I can at least tell that she is making fun of The Mayor which isn't very nice. I think there must be something in the Bible about not making fun of people who are in very important powerful positions. I'm going to look that up today and I'm going to write Ms. Daily a letter. She is from the North Side too so I am very disappointed in her.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

ReSantis's Ad Campain

(As you know, I don't like Blogging on Sundays because it should be a day of rest but since the Steelers aren't playing and some one sent me these funny pictures, I have to share them!!!!!!!!)

Friday, October 12, 2007

What Happened To Me!

It was such a nice fall day yesterday, I decided to walk down to the Giant Eagle over here on the Northside and get a pack of cigarettes and some toilet paper. I got my stuff and was heading back home when I ran into my neighbor Helen. She is old. Way older than me. I hadn't seen her in a while and there she was struggling to carry 3 or 4 full bags of groceries out of the parking lot.

I said hi to her and I mentioned how I hadn't seen her in a while. She explained how she was having problems with her knees. She had applied through Medicare to get a scooter but she had no idea how long it would take. I offered to carry her bags because it was such a long walk back to her house.

As we walked along, we talked about all kinds of stuff. We talked about our families. We talked about our neighbors. With her being laid up in her house, I filled her in on all the latest gossip. Then we started talking about the neighborhood and she mentioned that she had gotten something in the mail that morning from "ReSantis"! I asked her what she thought and she said that he seemed to be A NICE YOUNG MAN!!!!

I asked if she was going to vote for him. She said she hadn't made up her mind. I asked her what about THE OTHER NICE YOUNG MAN! She said with all the incidents that have happened she wasn't as sure as she once was. She said she still found him a nice handsome young man but she hadn't made up her mind yet.

So I asked in disbelief, "So Helen, you would actually vote for a REPUBLICAN?!?!?!" She said she hadn't made up her mind yet.

So I set her bags down on the sidewalk of East Ohio Street and said, "On your long walk back to your house ALL BY YOUR SELF, that should give you enough time to think about who to vote for and make up your mind!!!!" and I walked off.

I saw her a couple hours later coming up the street under the street light. I wanted to go out on my porch and ask her if she had learned her lesson but it was too dark and cold out. I hope that taught her a lesson.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Mr. Ford's Thrusty Lighter

Good Beautiful Day from the Heart of France - Paris!

I noticed how Ms ILuvLuke has fallen under the spell of Mr. Pat Ford and he seems to be the new super hero of development in Pittsburgh.

I found the article in your newspaper very interesting for it is good to see a person in governement who is not a wimp leaning toward the feme side. I believe a leader should be like a father you can not make happy. I believe the costume that Mr Ford has picked to present as his public face is most supreme. Nothing says leadership like a cigar and a glass of scotch and hopefully a patented leather chair with brass tacks! Who can question someone who you fear will have someone break your legs in a dark alley? This is how I have learned American Power works from watching such movies as the gangsters and like the Sporanos.

I saw the following letter to the editor today and I though about how much Mr Ford and I have in commom. We are both outsiders which it is good to see the Pittsburghs are beginning to respect the view of the outside more than their own view because we do have a better more real view of everything! I like how the writer says "I believe the only smoke from this article is Mr. Ford's aromatic cigar and the fire is his thrusty lighter." I too wish to have a thrusty lighter! Please share your secrets, Mr Ford because I have tried some of the offers I recieve in e-mail and they never send me the pills that will make me perform better.

I have told the Mayor Ravenstahl from this blog on some advice on how to not be called "The Baby Mayor" I think since Mr. Ford has taken the tough manlook, Mr. Ravenstahl needs to have a tough edge but also show his soft emotions too! I suggest a suit made of leather for the tough part but hold a flower and be seen almost crying when talking about love. I take much of my advice from observing Boy Bands and the female response to them. Mr. Ford can be the bad tough guy but Mr Ravenstahl you must be the candy bar man with a hard crunchy exterior but a soft warm gooey center. Follow the universal pattern and you will find success.

Remember if you wish to have my advice 24 hours a day, I wish to be a member of a city authority or county authroity and wish to recieve a good pension and telecommute!!! Please send your request for my presence on a board to

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Let's Praise the Redd Up Crew

I don't know if you had heard about the Redd Up crew building a dock in honor of the Late Mayor Bob O'Connor? Here is the link - here.

They took time out of their busy schedules to build this dock located over behind Western Pretentiary. Everyone is saying that the dock is new but it has been around forever. Theses guys just Redded it up. It was such a nice spot. I use to take my kids down there and feed the ducks and I'd bring a 6 pack of beer. We'd stand there and I would point at the prison and tell my kids about how it was filled with evil doing jaggoffs. I would tell them about all the potheads and evil sodemites that filled that hell house. I turned it into a a teaching moment.

Now all the petty critics of The Mayor are picking on him for the REdd Up Crew Redding Up the Dock. Can't those people ever be happy? Plus, the dock is to honor the Late Mayor Bob O'Connor - let him rest in piece. These blog critics can't even let the Late Mayor rest in Piece. They should be asshamed of themselves. How do they think the Late Mayor's wife feels about them dragging the dock through the mud? SHAME SHAME SHAME!!!

And how do you think the Redd Up guys feel? They work really hard everyday doing all that hard work and then they go home, put their feet up in their lazy boy, crack open a beer and check out the local blogs and what do they see? A bunch of Yuppies critizing their work! Like me, they probibly throw their beer can against the wall. They might look all burly and tough on the outside, but I bet they cry on the inside. Or as the yuppies would like to say "the 5 guys will stand around while the one guy does all the crying". All you Redd Up guys, this Blog, the greatest blog in Pittsburgh loves you and all the hard work you do!!! (hey, I have a big bush in my back yard that needs cut down? Could you swing by and help me out?)

These Yuppy Potatoheads have never worked a hard day in their lives unless you find pushing a computer mouse around a table tough. All thses yuppie bloggers are JEALIOUS that the REdd Up Crew doesn't come to their neighborhoods but they have their illegal mexicans who can trim all the weeds and go get them coffee and watch their kids. The REdd Up Crew is like the Illegal Mexicans for the Rest of Us! Not to insult you hard working Redd Up guys by calling you Mexicans but you guys work so hard for so little money and you don't get any respect. I feel sorry for you.

Now when I say Yuppy Neighborhood, I am talking about allmost all the neighborhoods outside of the North Side! So what if the Redd Up Crew does all their work on the North Side!?!?!?! We deserve the help and when you come through the Fort Pitt Tunnel what is the first Neighborhood you see? The North Side over behind Downtown so we have to make a good first impression.

Also, beaware of all the Anti-Luke blogs. They can tell if you like Luke and they will fill your computer up with all kinds of viruses and garbage. Only come to this blog where you get the straight facts and we don't even know what an IP adress is.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Steelers Are A Bomb of Hydrogen Destroying Everything

Hello from the only other great city that starts with P - Paris!

The Steelers of Pittsburgh have Triumphed again!

I was able to watch them this past weekend at the Department Store after failing last weekend to watch them. I had to work all the previous weekend and missed the great Steelers playing the Red Birds. I was confused because I thought Cardinals were members of the church and voted for the Pope but then I find that they are a red bird that lives in a waste land of the desert that is the State of Arizonza! I have learned so much.

I blame myself for the Heroic Steelers only lose because I failed to do what I did to help them win. Do others feel this same power in the Steelers Nation where their own personal rituals control the game and its out come? I never felt so much like a pagen wanting to slaughter a goat. Now I understand the Power of the Universe!

I met up again with my now fellow Steelers fan Andre who works at the Department Store. He missed me the past week and he is now asking ME questions of Pittsburgh and what it is about. Have I made a convert?

While niether of us are wizards of American Football, we are finding the joy from it. To most of you who have breathed Steelers since coming from between your mother's legs, we might seem like retarded alien children in kindergarten, but we believe our joy is universal and we are likely the formost knowledgable of the American Football in all of France. We both agree that for the first time in our brief lives we are the best at something!

I was full of joy watching the Mighty Steelers hurt so greatly the Birds of the Sea. I now know that we have a week of rest this coming Sunday to let our hearts rest from their hard work. I look forward to the Heroic Steelers to battle the Horses of Denver.

Is this feeling of joy that I feel the normal in our Steelers Nation? Thank you for letting me be a resident!

Saturday, October 6, 2007


I got back last night from playing the slots in Atlantic City with my girl friends and in just the few days I was away, the whole Burgh-O-Sphere has gone crazy like a premenstral Peduto-head without her dope. What has been going on!!!!!!!

First, I lost a lot of money in Atlantic City. I lost $20. Good thing my SSI check came through or my whole budget would be out of wack and I'd have to skip one of my cases of IC Light for this week. I can't wait for the caSINo to open here on the Northside (I'm always going to call it the Northside not the yuppie North Shore) but I will have to watch out because if I lose money and can't buy my cases, then the brewery will go out of business and then the whole city will go bankrupt.

Just reading about what happened with The Mayor driving a car makes me think of the "J" word - Jealousy. I know that Rich Lord and all those other people just wish they could be 27 again and be able to do what 27 year olds do. They just want to do all the fun stuff that The Mayor does. When The Mayor is working long hours until like 2 in the morning talking to other young people about Pittsburgh and trying to get them engaged in the city, those jealous people just complain about the Mayor being out at bars, but they cant see beyond their jealous noses that The Mayor is WORKING and he is up really really late and has to go to work in the morning. Those Poo Poo Potatoheads just see all the fun stuff that they are jealous of but don't see all the hardwork!




so be happy that you are at least driving your Ford Festiva!!!!

When The Mayor is not working the ReSantis loving media should just leave The Mayor alone. So what if he wants to go to a concert! I read that he also took that fancy car to visit his parents. Now isn't that nice!!! Those Pot-ato-heads probibly don't think he should visit his parents!!!

You might remember a post I made a long time ago . The same person sent me the following....[I don't understand it but my jaggoff grandson says it is "cool" and not offensive]

Yo, Strawberry
Our Mayor Must Represent. Our Mayor Must Keep It Real. The Raven Is The Real Deal. HERE ARE SOME SKETCHES FOR A NEW PHAT RIDE TO KEEP DA MAYOR ROLLIN. I might respect him more if he took his peeps to OzFest and not TobyFest but for all I know he could have driven a badder mobile to see the Oz. Dig the inside pic too! I just wish I put in an x-box playing the new halo 3!!! word up

Thursday, October 4, 2007

I Am One to Be Happy that The Mayor is a GMC Truck Man!!

Hello from the high-thinking Paris France:

I have been reading in shock about the hurricane over Mr. Ravenstahl's choice of car. I have seen it here and here and here.

First I find it surprising and exciting that people care so much about what the Mayor drives. I understand that most people care about the mayor and wish for him to travel to and fro in comfort but I was surprised that so many people have an opinion! Next may I suggest that we talk about his choice of shoes or the color of his neck tie?

I personally was surprised that the mayor does not travel in a Hummer. We in France do not have the privilage to have the great Hummer on our roads. I was surprised that it is not issued as a standard for all great leaders in your country?

The only way we know Toby Keith in France is by his song "I'm a Ford Truck Man." This was a very big hit over here with certain progressive people wearing their cowboy hats and enjoying their pants of blue deniem being held up by big belt buckles. I was glad to see that Mr Ravenstahl is among this group of people. I think it shows a good sign to be interested in the roots and values of "country music". Now the thing that surprises me is that the mayor did not pick from his vast fleet of vehicles a Ford Truck to ride to the concert!

I began thinking about this and thought it would not be good to ride a pick up truck when you have bring yourself, a body guard and driver and your wife. Then you might want to bring a friend so that leaves like your bodyguard and your friend riding in the back of the truck with the elements and the charcoal grill! At least with the Great Yukon the friend and the grill can be crammed into the very back. It might be uncomfortable for the friend but at least he gets to ride along on the beams of glory that trail the great mayor.

Since we do not have the Great Tahoe in France either I had to look it up. I found this picture and I thought, "This looks like something The Batman would drive!" I love it. It looks like a super hero car. Now I see why the mayor must drive this type of car. I wish to travel in one when I visit Pittsburgh some time in the future.

Those are my thoughts of the day. Thank you all "n'at"!!!!

From Pierre (logged into ILuveLukes account so I may do repairs and maintain the high quality of this site while she is away playing the slot machines in Atlantic City)

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

I Got The Following From Mr. TinkleBreath

As you might know already, we have a good friend here at this site who goes by the name Mr. TinkleBreath. He is one of the best local graphic designers and he works at a really high powered design firm here in Pittsburgh and he doesn't want his identity known. He is the one who made the great "I Luv Luke" graphic for this site which I love. Thank you.

Earlier today he sent me the following email....

Ms. Strawberry Way,

Your site has been great lately. I saw a comment earlier today where someone proposed the idea for a "Hunks of Grant Street" calendar. Me and my co-worker loved the idea so much we made some mock ups (which means like sketches in design talk). I've attached one that I think is really good. If people really like the idea, I'll make a whole calendar for next year.

Thanks for Truely Having The Best Blog in Pittsburgh!
Mr. TinkleBreath

I don't know how he got Dan Onorato to pose for the picture in less than a day but I know Mr. T has his connections. Here is his sample.

Baby Mayor No More

From Paris!

I was very proud to read on a blog that Mr. Ravenstahl was standing up for himself. According to this story, the mayor did a Steelers move on a slimey lowly reporter. It sounds like Mr. Marty Giffin was being very disrespectful of the mayor throwing insults and untruths while the whole time laughing and smiling. The Mayor being the man he is and not the Baby Mayor that the evil people claim, coolly waited until all the other reporters were away and then with his own bare shoulder, crashed it into the lowly reporters back just like one of the mighty Steelers! I hope this taught the reporter what his job should be-to not report bad stuff about the mayor.

The mayor was only doing his job in trying to prevent the reporter from reporting bad stuff. The reporter can say that his job is to report the news and the mayor can say his job is to make sure the reporter only reports the stuff that the mayor wants reported. I have followed American news reporting and I see how President Bush does his job and how the American press only report what he wants and do not show him in a bad light. See how Bush has turned the Great New York Times into a lap dog!!! Why should not Mr. Ravenstahl do the same on a smaller scale of Pittsburgh?

Now I have watched many American gangster movies and I know it says a lot when the head man takes off his gloves and does the physical work rather than leaving it to the goony henchmen to catch the evil doer in a dark alley. I think it says a lot and it is the message that needs to be sent not just to all the reporters in the Pittsburgh Area but to all the voting people - the Mayor is not the Baby Mayor!.
You in Pittsburgh are so lucky to have a person so brave to stand up for themselves that it shows how much they will stand up for you when the going gets tough! You should be thanking the heavens above for your leader.

So I can now see another sport to add to Mr Ravenstahl's list of sports love.....wrestling!!!

Mr. Ravenstahl?