Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Snow Fells On Your Pretty City!!

Hello from Paris where we are given an average of 11 inches of snow all winter.....

I read that the people of my adoptable Pittsburgh were plugged into their homes as the fury of Mrs. Mother Nature brutalized you with her wailing fists of frigid weather and snow filled karate chop of snow and dibilitating ice hammers that curtained your roadways with glistening frosting of frozen rain like the slick coverings of donuts and pastries against a backdrop of a fog of blowing snow that appeared like the dandriff of the great god zeus and would give little jack frost a scare so much his heart would stop and his dead body would be like a frozen capon sitting in the sub zero freezer of God waiting to be turned to a nice jack frost beef stew with a Burgundy juice with roasted carrots and onion! With that, I am so please to communicate with you my Pittsburghois. I hope and pray that you are following the life styles of the northern Eskimo who still live among you for your own survival.

I have followed on your news broadcasts on the television that are on the internet the disasters that have befallen you. Schools are closed! Through the wonder of the internet even I in Paris know that the Cuddlebear Day Care in your town of Braddock was closed! The highways are full of cars that are slipping into each other. The news reporters are forced to stand live in the galls!

One thing I find puzzling about your News Reports is how the reporter will start their report lets say about unplowed streets by standing on the sidewalk and then walking into the street until you as the viewer can see the whole street that is unplowed. Why must they be walking. Why not start with standing in the street?

Plus, why so many reports that are "Live"? I will see the reporters standing in a dark parking lot that appears to be directly across from your grand City Building talking about a council meeting or a law trial that day. Why must a reporter be forced to stand in front of a building that is obviously closed with nothing going on to make their LIVE broadcast report? Is this just Pittsburgh or all of American?

One last thing, I am terrified by the Severe Weather Center on the one broadcast. When I first found it, I believe that the weather in Pittsburgh was so bad all the time that if I ventured there on my quest I would surely be taking my life in my own hands. But then I realized that even if it is sunny in Pittsburgh the Severe Weather Center is still reporting. Could they not set up a Mild Weather Center or a Pleasent Weather Center and report from there when appropriate? I wonder how many people not as smart as I have been frightened from visiting your pleasent city because they are fearful of the severe weather?

and finally, may I continue to petetion your People of Vision to at the very least fly me to your fair town to demostrate my software creation to better aid your city... link