Sunday, September 30, 2007

Pat Ford Has A New Fan

I try to never Blog on Sundays but when I opened my paper this morning I saw a picture of the most handsomest man. It is Pat Ford who is the new head of the URA.
I don't know much about the URA or development or business but if he does his job as good as he looks then I know the URA is in good hands.
Why is it that The Mayor surrounds himself with such good looking men? It reminds me of the Rat Pack. They are such good looking guys. I would say that The Mayor is Frank Sinatra. Yaronne is Dean Martin. And Pat Ford is Peter Lawford. I don't think there are any black people in The Mayors administration so I don't know who the Sammy Davis Jr is.
The sad thing about Pat Ford which is the same sad thing about The Mayor is that both are married. Not that I would like to go out with them because I am married too. I just think it is good for the city to have young good looking men who are single. I guess that leaves us with Yaronne.
I like the fact that Mr. Fords smokes and drinks and he is proud of it. Jump off a bridge all you Political correct Potatoheads who are going to say "what kind of example is he setting for the children." I think the only person that the kids care about is The Mayor because he is really the role model for the whole city.
I can't wait to get to bingo and see if the other ladies saw the picture and to hear what they have to say.

Friday, September 28, 2007

ReSantis Hates the Steelers

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. My jaggoff grandson tried to download some music thing on my computer and I got some virus that kept making all these disgusting pictures pop up all over my computer screen. Anyway, it is all better now.

I just wanted to remind everyone that now that the Mayors race is really underway that ReSantis (I call him that because he has been using that "De" infront of his name to fool you into thinking that he is a Democrat so I call him that to remind you that he is a REPUBLICAN!!!) hates the Steelers!!!!


I have yet to here him say that he likes football. In fact, I have not heard him say that he likes sports at all. Our Mayor loves his sports and he has been seen at baseball games and football games and supporting golf and stuff like that. If there is one sport ReSantis likes I bet its polo.

Remember that ReSantis wanted all the debates to happen during Steelers games so no one would come to them and The Mayor would have to miss them?

The Mayor should come out in the next few days and point out that ReSantis hates the Steelers so much he refuses to wear black and gold. Have you ever seen him in black and gold? Nope. I bet that the ReSantis people are going to read this and get all scared so they are going to show him like sitting infront of a television with a iron city watching the game on Sunday waving a Terrible Towel. When you see that picture, remember that you heard it here first that he really HATES THE STEELERS and that he is staging that photograph.

I really think The Mayor should really show him up by coming to the next debate wearing face paint and waving a Terrible Towel in ReSantis's face. All of Pittsburgh would love that and that republician will cry or something and then nobody will vote for him. Imagine if nobody voted for ReSantis? That would be great! He would get a big fat zero and it would truely show what we all know which is that all of Pittsburgh loves The Mayor.

With that said... GO STEELERS

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Time for The Mayor's Manhood

From Paris Cultural Capital of the World:

I have been reading about the brewing storm of people complaining that Mr. Ravenstahl did not attend a community meeting to discuss the caSINo. I read about it here.

People were so desirous for the Mayor they were like crying little girls waiting for the Beatles or n'Sync. Because of their behavior, I can see why Mr. Ravenstahl did not attend. If I had a choice between having a group of desirous women rip my clothes off hoping for even a little bit of me and going to viewing public housing project close to a thousand miles away, I would choose viewing the houses of the poor.

Now don't get me wrong, I would very much enjoy having a small group of women who are very controled and rational gentelly take my clothing off with maybe a small fire in the fireplace and a group of candles burning, but to have a group of close to 100 crazed women in some church basement where it was hotter and they were sweatier than a barn full of cows on a hot sun filled day. That would not excite me either. I now understand why the Mayor has such strong physically fit muscle men guarding himself.

I can understand where these hot and bothered women would be upset when the object of their desire failed to show up. But they must understand that the Mayor is the Mayor for all people. The Mayor is a superstar and he needs to act as such in his position even if his personality is that of just a humble young sports loving man. He must be like the most famous and desirable P-Diddy. Then in their anger they get mad at the man who is building the caSINo. How ungrateful and rude!

If I were the Mayor and so many of my fans were upset, I would stand up to the plate and show them my manhood. I would do a very humble act of inviting these angry women to my office. Then when they are delirious with joyfor being in my precense, I would show my crushing manhood. I would chastise them for acting like children and being so mean to the man who is building the caSINo. That man is investing much money to make the neighborhood a better place, and these people are acting like ungrateful children. It is like inviting someone to your house and then pissing on their leg! I would show these women my incedible manhood and strength and hopefully they will learn a lesson and behave. Since I am very sure they would be upset with being yelled at, I would then offer them something nice to show that I love them. I would allow them to recieve an autographed picture of me. This will let them go away with good feeling and even love me more. That is the way with the manhood and using it with women.

Being French I understand the ways of women. They will respect you much more if you are tough and show the manhood, but then be gentile and in the heat of their emotions their love grows like water helps a flower bloom. Mr. Ravenstahl, you are free to use my advice on dealing with the crazy women of your city.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Our Biggest Fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks Mr. TinkleBreath (one of the most talented Graphic Designers in Pittsburgh and a big fan of this site which is THE BEST BLOG IN PITTSBURGH!!!)

Monday, September 24, 2007

Triumph Again for The Steelers - Saddness In Paris

From a disheartened Paris:

Yesterday, I traveled back to the Department Store in the eastern suburbs and again watched the Steelers bring victory to the Church of Hienz Field!!! Again I stood in the aisles of the television department at the satelite television display and was able to recieve my communion with the Steelers Nation.
While my heart flittered like a butterfly in a summer breeze, my insides were like a coal mine because of the news that Marcel Marceau the famous French mime had passed away to be forever trapped in the giant invisible box of the other side. No matter how much he feels the side of that invisible wall, he will never find his way out!
All of France is in mourning. While I was glad for Steelers winning, I was saddened with my giant caviety of sadness that wears a white face, a stripped shirt, white gloves and a frown.
But just like I keep my chin in the air, there can be a silver cloud. I started thinking about how much I enjoy miming. I studied miming while I was in school. I must say I did not have the greatest of skills, but it did fill my heart.
I began to wonder what the miming culture is like in my adopted city of Pittsburgh. While I did not find much of a miming culure in your city, I was led me to the following person. Steve Mendelson.
I found an article in your paper and I find much in common with this man. He studied being a street clown right here in Paris! He seems to be a worldly man who is also very handsomeand is successful with the women! I would say I have found my doppelganger!
The article is a beautiful piece that I wish to have someone write something similar about me. I hope to meet this man when I visit Pittsburgh. Maybe we could do some street miming and try to uplift the city of Pittsburgh to higher levels and then have some wine and have a mingle with women. While I find it sad that there is not a larger mime community in Pittsburgh, I was happy to find a person who is so similar to myself. It gives me hope.

Long Live Marcel and Continue to Triumph Steelers!!!

Update: I found his website and looking at a picture of him now, I must say that he has not aged very well and I now doubt if we would be having any mingle with women when I visit. I take back almost everything I said above.

Friday, September 21, 2007

John McIntire Needs Help

3 Weeks ago I sent the following letter to Chris Potter who is the editor of the City Paper...

Mr Chris Pooter,
I run a blog here in Pittsburgh ( that is very supportive of The Mayor and I find it upsetting that you are always insulting The Mayor especially that McIntired guy whos always calling him Opie.
I was especially upset with you saying that he hangs out in smoke filled rooms. His office in the City County building which is smoke free and I do not think that handsome young man smokes. I know that he does hang out at bars on the Southside and the Strip District which are smoke filled, but I don't think he makes any city deals there. That is his personal time and knowbody needs to care what he does on his own time. He is a young person and I am thrilled that he does young people things.
But I want to say, I am a smoker and I wont care if The Mayor smoked but he doesn't so please stop tarring and nicotining him all over your Republican hippy paper!!! Luv,

So far he has not responded.

Recently, someone brought the following City Paper article to my attention written by that Mcintire guy. It is sooooooo terrible. He calls our dignified Mayor a "jock-sniffer"!!!!!!! So I am writing Chris Potter again!!!

Mr Potter
I write ONE OF THE GREATEST BLOGS IN PITTSBURGH - ILUV LUKE. It is a safe cove on the internet for people who support our Mayor Mr. Ravenstahl.
Someone just showed me John Mcintire's article that you printed on August 30 last month. I am very insulted and I am sure our Myor was insulted too. Mr Mcintire calls our great Mayor a "jock-sniffer"!!! How do you think that makes the Mayor feel? How do you think his mother feels? I am sure that if you asked the Mayor, he would tell you that he has never sniffed a jock before except for maybe his own to make sure it was clean!
I request that you force Mr Mcintire to take some kind of medication for his mental illness rather that his goofy pills that he is obviously taking or the dope that he is obviously smoking. You should make it part of his job that he submit proof that he has taken his medication before you publish his articles. In fact, I request that you require ALL of your writers to submit to drug tests before you publish their stuff. It is obvious that they are not taking performance inhancing drugs!!! But those other kinds! Even that guy that writes about architecture and definetly those resturant reviewers who are likely also dope fiend swingers who likely answer every single nasty perverted ad that you have in the back of your paper.
While I find your paper a den of pervertity and mental illness and I doubt you are likely to clean it up, the least you could do is help that poor Mr MacIntire with his mental illness.

Thank you,
Strawberry Way

I hope he responds.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Welcome Gay4Luke's profile and picture

I saw that my granddaughter Tiffany finally put up Gay4Luke's profile and picture. You can see it over in the right hand collum.
This website has become the happy place that I hoped it would become. Thank GOD that all the soulless full of hate Mayor haters have stayed away. With the addition of Gay4Luke contributing to the site, we truely have become a rainbow! We have the following

-an old person (me)
- a young person (Pierre)
- a middle age person (Gay4Luke)
- 2 Pittsburghers (me and Gay4Luke)
- an Outsider (Pierre)
- a Person from another country (Pierre)
- a woman (me)
- a man (Pierre)
- a gay ( Gay4Luke)

The make up of our Blog would make any city commission jealous!!! The only thing missing is a black person. I sometimes think about an article thatTony Norman wrote for the Post Gazette (link here) and how he praises The Mayor and I think that I should ask him to be the black person on our Blog!!!

I just want to point out that I like Gay4Luke but because of my religion I can not and do not support that kind of "lifestyle". I have emailed at length with Gay4Luke about this and we are both very happy with our arrangement. Hate the sin but love the sinner!!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Mr. Ravenstahl Shows His Manhood

From glorious Paris:

Too often people call the Mayor Raventahl the Baby Mayor as if his youngness and inexperience are a liability. Last Friday, Mayor Ravenstahl displayed his manhood when he fired the Building Inspector and promoted some other people. He truly showed that he is a man not the Baby Mayor! He displayed his manhood right in his critics faces and now they can not deny that he is a most powerful force that could split them in half.
I am a student of History and History is full of powerful people who have used their power. From what I have seen Mayor Ravenstahl is following in a long line of powerful people by showing his power.
I am unfamiliar with the people that he has promoted because I am just a young student of the government of your city, but I can tell by the way that Mayor Ravenstahl promoted them that they are the best candidates. First he chopped off every departments head. That is a good way to get every one's attention! He made them write out their own resignation letters. What a great way to put the weak in their place. It is like in Kafka's Trial where the accused is forced to write their own confessions to a crime that they do not even know what it is. The Mayor is using a beautiful technique that has long been used by tyrannical governments. Then he let time work for him. He sat on their confession letters until they sweated in fear. Time is a crowbar of torture. Then when Mr. Ravenstahl brought down the glove of justice he was merciful to a handful. Those people will now realize how close they were to professional death and will be grateful to the Mayor. There had to be at least one person killed to show the survivors that the Mayor is powerful. I have raised dogs so I understand management.
In the end, the Mayor gets a standing ovation for his performance. He should show his manhood every chance he gets. I would recommend showing it at least once a day to remind the underlings that they are lucky to be alive and to be able to serve such a deserving leader.

Flaunt your manhood Mr. Mayor!!!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Whore House Update!!!!

Remember that you heard it here on ILUVLUKE first that they were going to put a whore house on the North Shore!!! This morning the P-G is trying to report it (see THEIR story here).
They fail to tell the whole story. They talk about a strippers club opening up, but that will never happen because the Casino is the one that is going to have the whole bunch of strippers and whores. The State wants to keep a monopoly on all the sin!!!
After we had a big discussion in the comments section of this website last week, it seems that we all agree that a whore house on the North Shore would not be all bad if it could be guarentteed that all the money from it would go to Property Tax Relief. I also want to say that they need to do something to prevent all the babies from being left in their daddy's pickup trucks while the daddys are doing their evil business. Maybe they could have a daycare at the casino. (notice how "casino" has sin in it? I just noticed that. From now on, I'm calling it The CaSINo!!!)
We need our city leaders to stand up and say "No Whore House With Out Property Tax Relief". I liked what Gay4Luke said "Maybe we should start a campaign: We want Hookers for Our Relief from Evil property taxes! The first letters of some of those words even spell out the acronym WHORE!"
Let our campaign begin!!!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Another Communion with Steelers Nation

Hello from Beautiful Sun Filled Paris, the Cultural Capital of the World:

I was able to watch the game yesterday. I traveled to the eastern suburbs where there is a satellite television dealership in a department store. I was able to stand in front of a television and change the channel to watch the Holy Steelers smash to petite pieces the Bills of Buffalo New York.

It was not the ideal for watching a American Football Game I believe. I had to stand in the traffic of shoppers and I had to battle a sale person named Andre as he made fun of me for wanting to breath in sweat breath of victory. He was what you from Pittsburgh would call a Jaggoff. He would change the channel when I was in the bathroom. He would snicker at me hugging my home grown Terrible Towel. I told him that he was a weakling and would not be able to stand one moment in my new beloved country of Steelers Nation. I think toward the end of the game we were winning him over when he did ask me some questions about American Football. He asked why the ball was so funny looking. I lacked the answer so I must go back to the Wikipedia.

It was beautiful to follow another win. I felt the same connection with The Steelers Nation. I felt like part of a giant organism. When Big Ben threw the ball, time slowed down and I felt our Nation of Millions gasp our breath and a million hands reached for the ball. Our energy must be changing the space time continuum.

Regarding having prostitution at Your Glorious new Casino on The North Shore, I am currently composing my 2nd Policy Paper regarding Economic Development. Please stay tuned in to this Blog!

Triumph Again Steelers

Friday, September 14, 2007

Whore House on the North Shore

I was with some of my girlfriends last night playing some bingo. We were talking about the casino that is going to be opening up. We have been prtty excited about it, but one of my friends said that they heard that they are going to be legelizing prostitution in the casino after they open!!!

My friend said that it has been the plan all along to turn the North Shore into a true Sodum and Gamorah!!! To make it a true "destination" they are going to be offering everything they have in Las Vegas including WHORES!!!

I can't believe that the city would allow this. I can't believe the State would be trying to do this.

There has been this whole thing about the parking garage being really big and that is because they know that so many people are going to be coming here from all over just to be having s-x right on our Ohio river. I can't believe it there will be a whore house right next to the science center and next to Hienz Field!!! Now I understand why the Steelers and the Pirates are upset and have been trying to block the casino. How are they going to compete against the sins of the flesh!!!

I am so upset I am about to crack open an IC Light right now to cool down. I haven't even had my Grape Nuts yet. I am sooooo mad!!!!! Just think of all the babys that are going to be left locked in pick up trucks in the parking lots while their dads are inside doing their wicked deeds!!!

If it is true that the casino is really going to be a whore house. I am never going to set foot in it. In fact, I will never look at it. Please, Mr. Mayor, as one of your BIGGEST supportor, don't let the casino become a den of vice and prevertions. I want my slots. I want my property tax relief. If it can be guarentted that all the money from postituition will be used for property tax relief, I might be for it, but for now I am against it!!!! Please God help us all.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Thank You Thank You Thank You!!!

It has been a while since I have posted. My computer has been sick. I'm glad to see that Tiffany, my granddaughter finally got up our new look. I recieved the beautiful graphic from a famous local graphic designer who sent that graphic to me. He said the following...

"Many of my coulleges love youre website. Most of us really like the mayor and like what he has been doing with the city. Most of the design community is very support of the mayor and like his detail oriental approach to things. Keep up the good work and if you need any design work. Let us no!"

There're so many talented people in this city who support The Mayor. God Bless All of You!!!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Update On My Steelers Watching

Hello Friends from a Beautiful Paris!

I was able to watch my first American Football game a few days ago. It was also my first Steelers American Football game to watch. I enjoyed my experience because the Steelers Triumphed, but my experience was not superior due to where I watched it. I watched it at an establishment named Crottes Brunes which should have been a clue because it translates to "brown droppings". When I walked in with my self-made Ben Rothlesburgher shirt, a fat Marshmellow man said in English "This is a Browns bar". I did not know what he meant until the game started and I soon realized I was in the enemy camp.

I sat off to the side away from the crowd of about five Browns fans. I kept my self-made terrible towel in my pocket. As the game started I kept my cheers inside while the others cried. The crowd was a beastly bunch mostly obese with skin that has never seen the sun and covered with red blemishes. If a human only ate donuts, this is what they would look like.

One man had his face painted like an evil beast which I later learned dipicted a dog. He did not enjoy my most innocent question if he was showing his support for the dog fighter Mr. Vick.

I could tell from their voices that they were all Americans, but there was one French man. I asked if he was an American Football fan. He said proudly that he was a Browns fan. I had hoped to be his friend so he could answer my confusing question about the American Football. Instead he spit on the floor at my feet. He was very uncultured and gross. I watched him later as he shoveled potato chips in his mouth like a monster and wiped his greasey paws on his Browns American Football Jersey. He was very unFrench. I almost vomited with embaressment. (After the game on my way home, I saw him in a alleyway passed out from his drinking and sitting in his own urine. He had vomit of potato chips and the meat from the wings of chickens down the front of his Browns American Football Shirt. I do not think I like Cleveland and hope never to see it even on a map.)

As the game went on and the crowd of five became drunker, sadder and angrier, I became happier and bolder. I began to the feel pride in me bubbling up like the pressure behind the cork of a bottle of Champagne. I realized it was "Pittsburgh Pride" and I was now part of the Steelers Nation!!! I felt a connection to every Steelers fan in the whole world!! I felt as if we were all viewing the same webpage at the same time and experiencing the same thrill together! With that sort of energy, we could change the world don't you think?

I must confess that I was unable to follow everything that was going on in the American Football Game. I must study the Wikipedia! But my analysis is that the Browns were a weak team that fell apart and the game was not a true show of what the Steelers team is about. I was concerned in the first half about the Offense in that they were unable to clearly dominate such a weak team. Ben did have to scramble in the pocket but he did not turn over the ball which is a good sign. Special teams seemed to do the job which I am told was a weakness before. I do not see a true test for the team until they play Denver.

I still glow with the thrill to be an exciting part of the most supreme Steelers Nation!!!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

My First Steelers Watching Soon

Hello From the Culture Capital of the World.... Paris!

Soon I will be setting out to watch my first Steelers game. I must go to a venue named La Crottes Brunes. I was clearly told that they WILL be showing the game. I am still burning from my venture to see The Kill Point that I fear disappointment again, but this place is in a nicer nieghborhood and it is not the middle of the night.
Since I know hardly anything about American Football, I have been studying the Wikipedia. I am excited to watch my first American Football game, plus it should be interesting to see if the Steelers may soon be transitioning back to the 4-3 defense in the near future, as new head coach Mike Tomlin prefers the Cover 2 (or "Tampa 2") style defense. I know the changes won't be immediate, though, as the Steelers did retain defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau, a mastermind of zone blitz schemes under the 3-4. I soon will be excited like a raging stallion!!!
I have made my own Terrible Towel which I also learned about on the Wikipedia.
I must go to catch the Metro. Merci!

Triumph Steelers!!!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Pittsburgh: Why We Must Make Love

Beautiful Day from Paris!

I try not to look down my nose on people who do not share my passion for Pittsburgh but it is very easy to do when I am from the Cultural Capital of the world and have such an exclusive hobby of following the minutia of a city half way around the globe.

Most people that I know do not understand why I do the things I do. I have started putting "The French Fries" (Pomme Frites) on my salads. In fact, I have started to smash them into every sandwich that I make. I feel a solidarity with all the Pittsburghers of the world through this simple action, but when I am with others who do not share my passion, I am lonely.

I will spend my free time using Google Earth Software and fly around my Second Home of Pittsburgh. I do this late into the evening. While I hear the young couples in the street below laughing after a romantic evening of wine and dinner, I raise my glass to the computer monitor and zoom in on great things like "The Boulivard of the Allies"!!! I know it sounds very heroic.

I find it hard not to think of myself as special. I am French of course. I find that even in a small way, your city is better place with my adoration shining on it. I hope you feel that warm glow. I know that you as a city feel like the ugly girl at the dance and feel shy that a handsome person like me is asking you to dance, but Pittsburgh, you must take off your ugly glasses, rip open your baggy blouse and put your chin in the air and say "Pierre, I am worthy of this love!" We both know that is the only right thing to do.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007


As you might know, I like my IC Light. But then I read this and I'm afraid it might not be around much longer!!!
How can Pittsburgh Brewing be going out of business. I practically keep them in business. How am I going to get my IC LIght if they don't make it anymore. It will be a cold day in hell if I ever have to drink any of that yuppie beer like Coors Light or Zima.
What is going to happen next? The Pirates are going to go bankrupt? The Steelers are going to not play this year? Is our city falling apart? Is steel never going to come back to the iron city? I'm begining to become afraid of what might happen next.
I propose that the city takes over the brewery. It is not like the city is in any worse situation than the brewery, and they could get some of those Redd Up guys getting the brewery back in shape.. The city could merge with the brewery and maybe all the citizens of Pittsburgh could get free beer. That would get people to move to the city! I could see it as a great money maker for the city. What other city could they say runs on beer? I think all the young people would want to stay in this town so they could have their beer. Don't you think?
Iron City is like water to this city. It can't go away. It is needed. This city was build on sweat and beer. People here have been drinking Iron City since Washington crossed the Allegheny River to get himself a beer.
Everybody needs to call The Mayor and their council people and tell them to Save Our Brewery (SOB for short!!!)!!! If I don't hear some action soon from those people, I might have to call for a drink in. That wont be pretty.