Thursday, March 27, 2008

You Must Embrace The Sign With Passion

Hello from the blooming Paris!

I must remind you that I am an outsider from Paris looking into your little world in Pittsburgh. I enjoy to myself thinking of it like the famous Ant Farm that children possess - I am like a giant and through the wonderous glory of the Internet, I am able to look in and see you - the Pittsburghoise - as small ants that go about your duties of wandering around aimlessly and digging holes and giving birth and finding food.

Must I say that I am your biggest fans. If I could, I would have in possession a hand made of foam with the index finger extended to form the number one for you. But I must point out to you when you are making an embaressment of yourselfs. I am talking about the lack of embacing signs!

As all of us people of smartness know, Signs especially large and technologicly superior multicolored LCD television-similar signs show the level of civilization of the residents where the signs exist. As an outsider, I remind you like a parent at the dinner table where you like the child is using the wrong fork - I am kicking you under the table very hard in your legs - shape up and embrace the Sign with passion for you will be seen from the outside as primitive cave people who talk in grunts and throw rocks and wear animal fur as your only form of clothing.

May I also point out that I have formed my own technology company PierreSoft which will provide solutions of software for cities such as Pittsburgh at large amounts of money. I have thoughts of moving my headquarters to Pittsburgh but I am afriad you may be unfriendly to me and my business. Since you are not embracing the latest technology, I am afraid you may brain me by hitting me on the head with your mammoth bone that you have chewed your dinner from. As of now, my headquarters are just my laptop computer (which for you cave people is a computer that is small enough to fit on my lap) but I have visions of my company needing a large building that will scrape the sky! Thus, you must listen to me and appeal to my tastes for I may someday soon be a Person of Vision in your city!

We as smart people of business know that signs are good and they tell us that a city has businesses and show that you are friendly to people like me. When I visit your city, I will be disapointed and full of fear if there is not bright colorful signs to embrace me.

So may I say it again, Cave People, embrace the Sign with the passion you would embrace a lover. While I know you are not as artful of lovers as us in France, you obviously know how to make love since there are births in your city. So embrace limply and unartistly as you might the Signs that will show the world that you to are full of Smartness and like the rest of the civilized world. Please stop being Cave People!