Monday, September 29, 2008

I am live Blogging the Steelers

Hello from my Black and Gold Paris

I have discovered a Launderette that is showcaseing the Steelers and the other team. I am in glee. It has the WIFI so I shall try to live blog this battle. It is early in the morning so as I wash my clothes I hope I do not wake up the Turkish family that lives in the back room.

That poor man is hurt! May he believe in God.

I missed a lot and the Steeler kicked the ball through the 2 yellow poles and 3 points are in our possession!

The Ravens have placed the ball through the 2 yellow poles and they have now equaled the Steelers with 3 points.

Big Ben is a Frankenstien. He gets tossed to the ground, but he needs to get up angry like the Hulk.

The Ravens are good at kicking the ball. Ben must tie his shoes tighter.

The Ravens have a fat man a very fat man,trying to cross the goal line, I have never seen a fat man running so fast.
Then Ravens get a touch down right before half time which makes it upsetting for drinking more beer. I wish for The Steelers to get to the locker room. They make it there but no points for that.

The Turkish family's dog took a shit on the Launderette floor. I missed the touchdowns. So I do not know what happened in the 3rd quarter.

How is the score the same? It is 20-20 with 1:15 left. Why is it so slow? Why do they not rip off heads and arms with blood and bones and get the ball in the goal?

Do they have earthworms in the dirt?


A ball through the 2 yellow poles and we have an won! Everyone is on the field. VICTORY!

Good Morning Paris,
Good Night Pittsburgh
Your Friend

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Football Season Starts

Friday, September 5, 2008

Luke Should Feel Like A Cock

Hello From the Always Cultured Paris!!!

Mr. Luke Ravenstahl should have his chest out and should be strutting around the barnyard like the cock that he his. The other roosters in the barnyard should cow to him and the chickens should flock to him. Why do I give such high praise?
Here in France, we often look down our noses at the American Politic (and everything else). I have been following your President race for the laughs. And I have been laughing. You have a Black Man running against an Old Man. Then the Old Man is running with a WoMan. And then the WoMan does not believe in telling people where babies come from and then her daughter now has a baby coming. (not to mention that she believes that the dinosaurs were on Noah's Arc?) The only thing to make it funnier is if the baby's father was the Old Man or The Black Man. HA HA.
Anyway, why I mention this is that Sarah Palin the WoMan is recieving so much praise for being the Mayor of a small town of 9,000 peoples. Peoples say this gives her the experience to drive your country should Mr McCain pass away. Using my large math skills and with Pittsburgh having 300,000 peoples, that makes Mr. Mayor Luke Ravenstahl 33.333 times more qualified to run the whole United States than Mrs. Palin. And since they are saying because of her "executive experience" Mrs. Palin who is very good looking by the way, is more qualified than Mr. Obama, I would say Mr. Luke is 300,000 times more qualified than him or Mr. McCain because niether of them have the executive experience to run the United States.
So now do you see why I think Mr. Ravenstahl should be strutting around like a cock with his chest out and his tail feathers flying?
Bravo again, Mr. Ravenstahl. And may I too give you a kiss. A French Kiss at that!

Monday, September 1, 2008

A Kiss for Luke

This photo of Luke is from a Post-Gagette online article about the Pat Ford affair. Look how sad Luke looks! I know he is really upset about breaking up with Pat. You can just tell from this photo. Poor Luke. I think we should all send him a big collective kiss to make him feel better. And, also, because he just looks so darned kissable. Has he ever looked sexier!?

I think if we all send Luke a big kiss we can help he get over his lover's quarrel with Pat just that much quicker. It is a terrible thing when two lovers break up, but sometimes it has to happen. Especially when an innocent young man like Luke falls in love with a deceitful backstabbing older man like Pat Ford. It's like that movie Brokeback Mountain. I just hope their wives will be okay and get over this whole sad affair quickly. Plus Luke has to get on being our Mayor who we love even if he did have a failed affiar with Pat Ford, it was not Luke's fault.

So, I ask that this be "send Luke a Kiss week." Please everyone do you part to cheer up our Mayor. Send him a kiss today.