Friday, August 31, 2007

Luke Responds to GOLF '07!

Though faithful IluvLuke readers will know that I often comment here, this is my first real post. ILuvLuke invited me to post on her blog, and I was so happy and flattered to be invited that I almost cried. Soon, I will be posting my picture and personal profile. -Gay4Luke

As a Squirrel Hill resident, I wanted to take some time to write about the Great Oakland Leak and Flood of 2007 (GOLF '07). As many may know, a water main burst at Centre and Dithridge, causing major flooding and water outages. I was without water for almost 12 hours!

GOLF '07 has caused untold heartache, loss of business revenues, property damage, and emotional trauma. The owner of the Dollar Plus Store even suffered from wet socks! He had to change into sandals, according to the Post Gazette . Nobody even knows how many people were forced to go to their local Rite Aid, CVS or CoGo's to buy bottles of water. When I went to my Rite Aid, angry mobs were scrambling for the last few drops of Evian. All I could get was a one lousy bottle of Rite Aid brand water. And it wasn't even carbonated.

Do I sound bitter? No! I used to be bitter about my evil Republican father turning me gay, but I'm not bitter about that any more. I realized that being gay is part of what I am. What I am bitter about is what the inevitable reaction to GOLF '07 will be in the horrible Post-Gazette and in that despicable piece of Dick Scaife's used toilet paper, the Tribune Review. I'm writing this post because maybe if I write first, I can stop those horrible papers and naysayers from saying terrible bad things about our beloved Mayor, Luke Ravenstahl.

So, here's what I know those papers are going to be saying, as soon as they wake up. It will certainly be stuff stuff like this: "Where was Mayor Ravenstahl during GOLF '07? Why was he not out there on the street getting his socks wet with the owner of the Dollar Plus? Why wasn't he out making door-to-door deliveries of Perrier water to the embattled residents of Shadyside and Squirrel Hill? How could he let one of his water mains spring a giant leak in the first place? How can he let our infrastructure decay to this point?"

Well, I am here to tell you that none of that is the Mayor's responsibility! No! Suffering through the water loss myself in Squirrel Hill, I did not expect the Mayor to knock on my door with bottled water. Nor do I think he should risk getting his socks wet. He might catch his death of a cold, then we'd be stuck with Doug Shields as our Mayor and he's not even handsome. It's not Luke's responsibility to ensure that the infrastructure of the City isn't decaying. Shoot, he wasn't even born when most of this stuff was built. How can he be responsible? Anyway, that's what the department of Public Works is for. They are they ones who are supposed to worry about infrastructure!

Mayor Luke has better things to to do with his time than stand around in muddy floodwaters! The Mayor is supposed to look good, and make the City look good. How can he look good standing in floods with his Brooks Brother suit pants all wet and rolled up to his knees? Normally, of course, he does look great. The other day, I almost wrecked my Mom's pink Mary Kaye Cadillac when I saw how hot, sexy, and handsome Luke looked on a Redd Up Pitttsburgh billboard that I drove past! Can there be any better face for our City? Young people must be coming back in droves when they see his handsome face. Even the Ethics Board says that it is the Mayor's job to go to celebrity golf outings. Here's what they wrote to the Mayor in a recent letter: "We encourage you to continue your practice of supporting the charitable sector that provides so many benefits to our community." I read that in the Post Gazette! If the Ethics Boards says that the Mayor should be going to celebrity charity events, how can we expect him to go to floods too?

But, even so, guess what Mayor Luke actually did during GOLF '07? That's right, according to The Pitt News, Mayor Luke arrived at the scene "not long after the break." Yes, even though he probably should have been at a photo studio posing for billboard photos, or out on the golf links with Mario and Jeffery Romoff, he went straight to the flood scene! And, he issued a statement, as follows: "The main thing is to ensure public safety." That is so brilliantly intelligent, caring, and heartfelt! It just makes me want to cry. Luke has done such a great job during GOLF '07! His performance under pressure in this crisis shows why he is our great Mayor, and why he deserves to keep being our handsome young Mayor.


Thursday, August 30, 2007

New Blog in the Burgoshpere

Get this. The whole City-County Building has started its own blog!!!!
How does a building blog? (I think its fake and there is a person writing it!)
Here is what I'm guessing its typical blog entry will be....

Hey, I'm still at 414 Grant Street. It rained today and I got all wet. People didn't wipe their feet coming through my doors. A bunch of meetings happened in me today. Darlene Harris is still smoking in me. I hope she doesn't catch me on fire. I'm made of stone but I'm still afraid of fire. Oh, here come The Mayor Ravenstahl. This is great. I love when he comes to work. I love having him in my warm belly. Yum.

So what else can a build say? Should be interesting. Hopefully this new blog will be nice to The Mayor. We need more Mayor-Friendly websites.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

ReSantis Supporters Are Dope Fiends Too!!!

I got the following picture from a very reliable source (thanks MrTinkleBreath) that shows a rally of ReSantis Supporters. Look how wacked out they are that they are wearing their coats in August!!!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

A Bunch of Stuff!!!

I had made a promise to myself that I would not "blog" on a Sunday, but I have too much stuff going on that I can't stand it .

I was tipped off by Silverfoxy that the guy over at the Pittsburgh Comet has given us credit for a big scoop, but really it was LUKE IS A PUSS BAG that did the scoop. I thought that was so nice of the Comet guy that I created a new section of links over on the right. It is called "Blogs that Hate The Mayor But Might Not Be Soulless".

Speaking of LUKE IS A PUSS BAG, I didn't realize it until right now that her name is an insult to The Mayor. I thought it had something to do with the whole licensing for cats thing that was infront of city council. I thought it was puss like in pussy cat rather than the stuff that comes out of pimples. While I don't like name calling, I'll let LUKE IS A PUSS BAG keep posting because they have added so much to the dialog on this site.

While my granddaughter Tiffany was putting that new links section over on right, I had her add Mark Rauterkus's blog over there too. There you go Mark. Now be nice to The Mayor!

Also since the "Give the Kid Some Change" was such a great success, I had Tiffany take down the fundraiser infomation. I hope Mr. Ravenstahl now knows that there is an army of supporters out here waiting to help him!!! I'm thinking our next fundraiser should be to send The Mayor to some fancy golf course like in Scotland. That would make all those soulless bloggers wiggle in their stinky computer chairs that they sit in all the time likely nude!!!

As Faithful reader pointed out in the comments, there was a wonderful letter to the editor today by Terri Ann Jagielski. If she reads this, do you want to blog on my blog? Send me an email!

I am so happy with Pierre's Policy Paper. I think it adds a whole new thing to this site and to the Burghosphere!!! I think slowly we are becoming the best site around!

Go Steelers tonight against the Eagles. God bless Troy, Hines, Ben and that cute kicker guy!

Pierre's Policy Paper 1: Fifth to Forbes Area Has Hope

(As you may know, my goal is that I wish to sit on a Board of Vision such as an Authority or the Allegheny Conference. I wish to telecommute since I live in Paris and receive a salary, but I believe my insight will be invaluable and equal or exceeding the Visions that are currently being presented. I hope for a large pension for my time and much praise. When I eventually get to Pittsburgh, I hope to soar with the eagles of your city and experience the cream of your culture. Plus, I wish to walk among the mere mortals and experience the muck of everyday existence. I want to experience it all!!!
To that end, I wish to show beyond my regular superior insight that I have super insight therefore I wish to distill my ideas like a fine brandy which I will pour into your glass in the form of A POLICY PAPER! This is my first one!)

It appears that the Fifth to Forbes Area is a problem and has been a problem for a time. It looks like there is hope according to an article in your paper. A steak house restaurant is opening!!!

The Capital Grille will be opening soon and everyone is drooling with hope. Even the Mayor Luke Ravenstahl is quoted as saying that the steak house "allows Pittsburghers to see that what previously had been a dream is now becoming a reality."

Even Herky Pollock the executive vice president of real estate firm CB Richard Ellis/Pittsburgh praises the Steak House and shows it as economic engine by pointing out "Once they see the potential of a quality establishment (my emphasis has been added) and the rents they're able to garner, these developers most definitely will realize the opportunity before them."

Even a business owner, David Kashi who owns Kashi Jewelers says "Pittsburgh needs something like that. It gives an upscale look to the city, don't you think?" I would agree.

It has been proven since man built cities that buildings have been important for a city to be a city. I can not think of one single city that lacks buildings so I see that as one great step for having a successful city - buildings.

If you wish to call an area a "business district" you need to have businesses or else you would just call it a "district" I guess. It seems the Fifth to Forbes Area has been plagued by poor businesses for some time. As Mr. Tom Sullivan, a commercial broker with Pennsylvania Commercial Real Estate, insightfully says about those businesses, "They simply don't have the money or the credit, I suppose." So it seems the right thing to do is tear them down to bring in good businesses with good credit! That is what makes a good business district better than just a business district which is better than just having a district.

It can be poorly argued that The Lazarus building failed, but there were two fatal flaws with that plan. It lacked people living within the store and it lacked a steak house.

It appears to me that an important part of urban development is the need for Hope and Belief. Mr. Ravenstahl says, "I believe (my emphasis) that once that happens with G.C. Murphy's, once that happens with PNC, once that happens with Piatt Place, then all of the sudden that property becomes more valuable and I think you're just going to see, slowly but surely, the gradual growth around those areas happen."

Then Mr Piatt says "We have some great prospects. Hopefully(hope!!!) we'll be getting something soon. I still feel optimistic (hope!!!) about it. The office market is better (hope!!!) than it has been the last several years. I'm pretty confident (hope!!!) that we will land a big one shortly."

Clearly like a religion, development should be done on faith. Studies and research are the things of science which can be flawed, but when you have faith and if the God of development shines down, then things that are meant to be are meant to be, and the rest fail (like Lazarus store). There are many smart people who are spending large amounts of tax money to make their businesses successful so the public must have faith too. They need to be optimistic too.

In conclusion, I have pointed out some things about the development of the Fifth to Forbes Area that are hopeful. There are buildings which is good. It is a business district that is getting better businesses. And there are many people praying for success. The Steak House approach to development is great and unique I believe to Pittsburgh. Hopefully other cities will see the brilliants and pray for a Steak House for themselves, but in the meantime may they travel to Pittsburgh as their destination!!!

(I hope my first Policy Paper astonishes you with my grasp of the issues. My dream is that you walk away from with Policy Paper realizing that I think just as large as the people who are making the large decisions in your city and then you will raise me to their level and allow me to soar with them in shaping your world.

I must thank Mark Belko for his hard hitting, written-well, insightful article that gave me the most fruits for my first Policy Paper!)

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The One Musketeer

When I first looked at the most popular image of Mr Ravenstahl before the Star Chamber of Ethics, I believed I saw a small hint of the facial hair in the form of a baby "Balbo". It excited me to see the Great Mayor venture into the exciting world of facial hair, but then I was saddened to note that it was just a trick of the light of a very bad photographer and that my eye had been fooled.

It made me think of the Great Musketeers of Dumas (who I do not know if you are familiar with because you are Americans and do not read but only eat all that you can. My guess is that you would believe that a Musketeer is a nougat filled candy bar!!!).
But the Musketeers would be a great similarity to the Mayor Ravenstahl - they are noble, romantic visionaries and fight for what is right. Since he is only one rather than three, maybe his slogan should be "One for One, and One for One" rather than the ordinary "One for All and All for One"!!!!!

Please forgive my bad talent as a computer artist, but here is my depiction of what I saw...

... the only thing lacking is maybe a romantic rose caught in his teeth tossed demurely by that Sister Patrice Hughes or by that rabbi guy!!!!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I said a few roserys yesterday for The Mayor. Did you know you can do the rosery on line!!!
Looks like we won.
I hope The Mayor went out last night and had a big party.
I still think he should fire all those people on the Ethnics Board just to teach them who is boss.
I love the picture because it shows his passions for all of us.
Thank you Ethnics Board for wasting everyones time!!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

My Certain Advice For Mr. Ravenstahl

hello from Paris!

I noticed that today Mr. Ravenstahl will stand before the Dark Lords of the Inquisition known as the Ethics Board.
The big point is the value of the golfing.
I think Mr. Ravenstahl should say that the golfing was not that good. The putting greens were bad. The company that was kept on the golf course was poor. That all decreases the value of the golf game.
The big hurricane of screaming people making such a stink from such a small turd has surely decreased the value further. The amount of time that Mr. Ravenstahl has had to think about this little stink and also his time to travel to and stand before the ethics board is also money that is flying from his pocket and the value of the golf game goes down further.
Just by doing some quick calculations, it appears that the value of the golf game has actually crossed from the positive to the negative with the Mayor losing money for just wanting to help cancer kids with his golf club.
I pray that the Ethics Board will see the wisdom that I have said and see that Mr. Ravenstahl is in the big red hole for his golfing. Maybe the ethics board will slam down their gavel and say "case dismissed" and give him a check to at least make the value of the golf game even!!!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Pod Camp Pittsburgh

(Ok. I'm editing this post because I DO want this to be a family friendly site.
So this post said "They didn't invite me. I'm glad they didn't." and had this image.)

Seems like everyone is talking about this Pod Camp thing. It is mentioned here and a bunch of other places. I guess it was just a big party so people could dance around and smoke their dope. Here are some pictures. See there is one picture of The Peduto unvieling his new website. Remember, these are the people running the Pittsburgh Blogosphere!!!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

A New Mascot For You

Hello from Paris!

I have been reading about your sport team puppet that has been invented - Steely McBeam and it appears that many hate him. It is a good thing that he looks tough and carrys that big beam to beat away the angry people who will wish to beat him up!

I read the story about how The People of Vision dislike the Steel man and hate the mention of Steel or anything about the past. With me being an outsider, I can give a most excellent view from the outside of your cage of Pittsburgh and give you a truer vision of what people think. That is why I think you should greatly respect my opinion ( and if you wish to put me in charge of a Board of Vision such as the Allegheny Conference I would gladly accept as long as I could telecommute!).

From the outside, most people don't even think of your city. When they do, they think of it as the birthplace of Lycos - the search engine that at one time was greater than all the search engines until Alta Vista came around and then the Google. Other than that most people in my circle don't think of Pittsburgh. But with me being a great fan of "The Burgh" I am changing their view in the most good way! I am the ultimate ambassador!

After reading the story, I was driven to design a more fitting puppet for your city.
I Introduce "Steve MacHardDrive"!!!!
(Please forgive me because I am not a computer artist.)

He is a computer technologist (like myself)
He carries an iPhone (I have not been able to aquire one yet)
He wears the professional uniform of blue oxford cut shirt with the flesh colored pants (like I wear every day)
He wears a stylish eyewear
He is named Steve after Steve Jobs the Executive of Apple
He is named MacHardDrive because a Mac is a computer and Hard Drive is Technology
He does NOT wear gloves
He does NOT wear a helmet
He does NOT wear a laborer's bib because he does not labor
He does NOT have hairy untamed eyebrows (body hair is so 1990s)
He does represent the throbbing energy of the future Pittsburgh!!!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Luke Is Our Mentor Of The Highest Order

hello from PARIS!!!!

There appears to be a furor over Mr. Ravenstahl being a mentor to a group of children. First, he is pillored for helping children with cancer by using his golf club. Then he helps some children who would have been otherwise running the streets naked by giving them shirts to cover up their nakeness. My sources have told me that the Mayor has raised these children since they were mere chicks. He has taught them the math and spent countless hours reading to them. He is like the father so why should he not put his name on them! I carry my fathers name. You carry your fathers name. Now their are 232 new Ravenstahls who are helping the city of Pittsburgh. If they give back even a tenth of what the good Mayor has given, the city will be soring to higher hieghts.
Seems people are up set that the Spokesman for the Mayor said that the Mayor "... is a mentor to all of the youth living in this great city."
I could not have said it better. Wait, yes I could. He is a mentor to all people living in your great city!!! Please mentor us greatly!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

My RoundUp of Evil Soulless Pittsburgh Blogs

Ever since I got a computer and learned to type, I have visited some of the worst blogs in Pittsburgh just to read what was going on. It was like walking through the muck of the sewer. That is why I started this blog (thanks to my granddaughter Tiffany) which I wanted to be a happy place to share happy things but every once in a while a big retarded poo-poo potatohead will come along drooling and make things ugly but thank the Great Lord they don't stop by too often. I think it is because they are just too stupid and stoned from smoking their wacky weed to ever find their way back to my blog.
I try not to read this terrible blogs because after I am done reading I walk away with that little taste of vomit in the back of my mouth that I have to wash away with an IC Light. That turns my day ugly if I read those awful blogs (or Rich Lord) before dinner time (which I officially call "Beer O'Clock").
I must confess that I do visit them sometimes which makes me feel dirty and want to go to confession. Here is my take on just how screwed up, evil and soulless the Pittsburgh Blogosphere is!!!!

2 Political Junkies - most of the stuff they talk about is BORING!!!! All they talk about is politics except when Maria gets all worked up about The Mayor. She must take a few smokes from her her pot bong and then pounds out all her rage about her sad life and directs it at The Mayor. She is so jealous of him that it seeps out of her words like that stuff at the bottom of your garbage can on a hot summer day.

Agent Ska - Ah, it must be great to be a student and go around to all the bars and coffee shops and blog and talk about all kinds of stuff that only "The Kids" have any idea what your talking about. It must be great to smoke a bunch of pot all the time and make videos and have your whole future ahead of you? I almost get high from all the second hand smoke.

The Drunk Bureucrat - makes me want to put my head in an oven and drag him in their too to put him out of his misery.

Carbolic Smoke Ball - this one is really the best place to read news about stuff. They are really good and not evil or soulless except when they write about The Mayor. If they would cut that out, I would only read them for all my news.

Cognitive Dissonance - this is a bitter little old man. You can tell by the picture on his website. When you read his stuff, he sounds all nice and even and fair and then he shanks you just like Bubba in the prison yard. I'll read his stuff thinking, "Oh, look. He is getting ready to say something nice about The Mayor!" But he always ends up being mean and hating The Mayor. I can't tell if he is a dope fiend or not. If he is he must use it medically for his glaucoma.

The Pittsburgh Comet - even though this guy sounds like he hits the wacky weed now and again, he has a link to my blog so I like him and highly recommend him!

The Burgh Report - It is like the crack house of hate. Wear a helmet because the half-truths and lies come flying so fast from their comments section. After visiting, you'llfeel so slimey you'll have to take a shower. TheBurger and The General drop a little red meat out there (and it is usually about The Mayor) and all the Peduto loving marijuana smoking crazies go crazy. It is like submerging yourself in the bottom of a port-o-let for a few minutes. Yuck!

I have more blogs I want to review, but I am too tired so I'll do a part 2 soon.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Van Halen Pisses On Our Spirits

Hello from Paris:
My emotions seem like a roller coaster that only goes downhill and only ends with a brick wall full of spikes and barbs.
I read that Van Halen will not visit Pittsburgh on their new tour.
I do not like them any more. I feel like a woman whose girlfriend has been treated poorly by a man and now I wish to rip the bad man apart with my gnashing teeth. I am a rabid animal with overflowing fury. My angers run deeper and hotter than the magma of the earth! I will be putting my Van Halen albums and a massive scrapbook I have collected out for the rubbish.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Hey, Ding Dongs! The Mayor Can't Control The Weather!!!!!!

I try never to read all those hellish, hate-filled blogs about Pittsburgh that always put down The Mayor, but I had to catch up on what evil has been going on, and what do I find? They are trying to blame all the rain storms and all the damage on THE MAYOR!
Won't these poo-poo potatoheads ever give up?
They are trying to say that The Mayor could have stopped the weather! I believe The Mayor is great and would be the first to say he could do anything, but even I know that The Mayor couldn't have done nothing to stop the rain.
This past weekend was pretty nice, but where are all those ding dongs now to praise The Mayor for giving us a nice sunny pleasent weekend? That is the proof that they are just negative and evil and just want to place blame!!! If they are going to keep blaming The Mayor for the tornado and flooding and all that, I want to hear them say thank you for all the good days that he has given us. I want to hear them say, "Thank you, Mr. Ravenstahl, for all those sunny days this summer and thank you for the mild winter last year." But it will be just like them to not say anything like that. They'll just stay in their dark, stinky hole of negativity blogging and complaining and complaining and blogging. That is fine by me because I'm going to stand up right here on MY blog and say...

"Thank you, Mr Ravenstahl, for this glorious day!!!"

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Mr. Ravenstahl Is The Thundering Rocket!

Hello from Paris:

I have been reading about how Mr. Onorato, your county's highest supreme director chief, desires to be governor of the State of Pennsylvania. I am very unknowledgable about the state of politics of the state, but I still see Luke as The Dark Horse in the drive to the prize of President.
I see Mr. Onorato climbing the small ladder of success. He has worked himself up from a lowly person on city council to where he is now, but look at how long that took! Look at how old he is! At his turtle pace, he will be President in a WheelChair or motorized Scooter!
Luke is a rocket shooting into space! A Juggernaut of unstoppable political force. He has gone from his baby chair to the chair of Mayor in a flash. The chart of his progress looks like a raging mountain that would make any skier or mountainclimber wet their slacks. The momentum is staggering!
If I were allowed to place bets on these matters, I would foresee a large windfall if I were to place money on the Mayor crossing the threshold to the White House first. I see Mr. Onorato crossing that threshold second maybe as a guest to a dinner party held by Luke at the White House. (Maybe the new Pittsburgh casino can take bets on political futures?)
Mr. Ravenstahl looks like the New Bill Clinton!!! Both are handsome. Both are very well groomed with nice hair and sharp suits. Both are very well endowed orators with a beautiful handle of speech that makes the crowds swoon. Both are men of vision that can lead the hordes of lesser people. Both are good at balancing on the political fence while still being their own man. Both are good at finding the truth even if it needs to be split from hairs; They will find it!!! The only thing different between the two is Mr. Ravenstahl is married to a nicer person and he does not have a law degree. Other than that, I believe they are the same person with the same destiny.
Mr. Ravenstahl's future is a bright blue sky and he is the thundering rocket! Remember my words. At Mr. Onorato's victory celebration for Governor, from his wheelchair he will get a call of congratulations from the White House and it will be Mr. Ravenstahl.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Introducing "Give The Kid Some Change" Fundraiser

After talking with Rocco who regularly posts comments on this site, We are proud to introduce our new Fundraiser "Give the Kid Some Change"

We know that The Mayor will be going in front of the Ethnics Board later this month to discuss his golfing which was totally fair and fit within the rules. If the Ethnics Board is soulless and full of hate which it seems like they are, they might fine The Mayor $1000!!!

We know The Mayor doesn't make a lot of money so we are proposing that we send in money to help pay for any fines (and any future fines)!!!

If you feel as strongly about this as we do, send in some money right to the Chair of the Ethnics Board Sister Patrice Hughes. We figure this fits into all the rules because The Mayor is never touching the money (even though it sounds like you could send him $100 in cash directly and neither one of you would get in trouble). We think this is the only fair way to deal with this and we hope The Mayor appreciates our efforts.

So send your donations to:

Sister Patrice Hughes
Chair of the Ethnics Board
Ethics Hearing Board
c/o Department of Law
313 City-County Building
414 Grant Street
Pittsburgh, PA 15219-2453

After you have sent in your donation, email rocco at with the total and I'll keep a running total on this site. If we raise more than the fine (if there is one!), then The Mayor knows that he will be covered for any ethical things that come up in the future!!! I hope that will let him sleep easy.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

I Have Surrendered My Hopes But I Still Fight The War


I ache with guilt for many reasons.

I feel guilty for the fact that I have been unable to post for many days due to a large work assignment. My supervisor wished me to hook a laser printer to his computer. It took me most of the past week and with much blood and tears my supervisor can now print from his computer that is for his lap. I have triumphed again!

I also feel guilty for misreading the story about a potential affair between your two leaders. In my country "love fest" means something else then it must for you. I feel guilty if I may have misled anyone. I know I have mislead my friends here in Paris! I started a new term - "Louisville Merger" to describe two powerful mean caught in the vortex of attraction. My friends have been using this term, but I have been unable now to stop them from using it even after explaining my misunderstanding. I have pleaded and explained my failure, but they now use the term as if it has existed for eons. I am afraid that the term might spread like a fire in the wild woods or a bad disease. Please everyone refrain from using the term "Louisville Merger" and may no credit or infamy come go to me!!!

I also feel guilty because I have surrendered to ever watching The Kill Point. I tried to download a stolen version and I mistakenly tried to watch it on my supervisor's computer while I fixed it and I think that is what made my task of making the printer work so difficult. I believe I may have given my boss a virus because I started to find a variety of pornography and much visits to adult sites on his computer. I think I fixed everything, but I fear I will never watch The Kill Point and I learned a lesson never to try to download movies. You should learn from me.

Maybe someday I will see the Glory of Pittsburgh in person and will have no need to see it on the small screen of my television anymore!!! And the memories of my visit will warm me like a roasting fire and I will share my lessons from the People of Vision in your city with the People of Vision in my city and we will all be greater!!! May Pittsburgh and Paris MERGE!!!! Two great forces of Culture caught in a vortex of attraction in a spiral dance of Metropolitan vigor! Maybe we shall call the result PARISBURGH?

Friday, August 3, 2007

Answering Some Questions...

Since I started this site last month, I have gotten a lot of emails with questions. I am not good at answering emails so I am going to try to answer some of the questions….

Who are you?
I am not going to tell you because there are a bunch of crazies out there who don’t like The Mayor and don't like the fact that I blindly support him. This is America and I can do whatever I want. I just don’t want a bunch of poo-poo potatoheads attacking my house at night like those zombies in the Night of the Living Dead because those people who hate The Mayor are like drugged out, self-indulgent, college educated smarty pants who have never worked a day in their lives and think everything can be better if we all quit smoking and put solar panels on our cars and make Bill Peduto mayor. If any of them attack my house, I’m just going to throw a big bag of pot down the street and watch them go stumbling after it.

Is this site serious?
Do other serious sites get this question a lot like mine? I wonder how many people send emails like that to the Post Gazette or the Tribune Review? I bet the City Paper gets it all the time because they really are a joke. A couple weekends ago, I was at the zoo and I saw that they had put word processors in the monkey cages. I looked closer and they were working on writing up the City Paper. After they were done with their next edition, they threw poop at the walls to celebrate.

What kind of cigarettes do you smoke?
Virginia Slims 100s.

Why do you call people “poo-poo potatoheads”?
Because I don’t want to call people “sh!theads”. I want this to be a family site where the whole family can sit down and read together.

Do you really throw your ashtray around?
Yes, I do. I actually broke a computer monitor back when Bush won in 2004. It was a nice monitor that my daughter had bought me so she now bought me a real cheap one. I have broken a couple televisions and I have put many holes in my plaster walls. Luckily, my sister married a plaster guy so I don’t have big holes in my walls. My kids have always asked why I did that and I’ve told them that it is my anger management technique. Aren’t they glad that I don’t throw the ashtray at them? By the way, the ashtray is a big green rectangle and weighs about 10 pounds. I haven’t broken it yet.

What do you do for a living? Do you just sit around writing your blog, drinking IC Light and Luving Luke? Get a life!
Yeah. So what! I spent most of my adult life raising my kids and keeping my house in good shape so now is my time to relax. I'm a sucker for dollar stores and bingo and last time I checked, this is America and I'm pursuing my happiness. When I was growing up, I repected my elders and now that I am an elder, I expect that respect but kids today are such jaggoffs because their parents are such jaggoffs. These are my golden years and jaggoffs like you are tarnishing them. What joy do you get in making an old woman mad? RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!!!! I deserve it.

Are you married?
I am. I believe in the sanctitties of marrage. I've been married for 40 years and my husband lives on the third floor of my house. We don't talk anymore, but it would be a sin to get divorced. I don't know why it is any of your business, but if your are trying to ask me out, I am not interested.

Do you really like the mayor?
Dah!!!! I run this site! Look at the name of the site. Do you think I’m a liar? Get away, poo-poo potatohead.

I Am So Excited That Football Season Is Starting!!!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

I've Added A New Section!!!

I'm trying to make this the best website on the Internet so I have added a new thing over in the right hand collum of this website. It is a list of the best Pittsburgh Blogs that are Mayor-friendly. Enjoy.
Thanks to my granddaughter Tiffany for helping me get it all set up