Wednesday, October 31, 2007

What Kind of Dish?

After writing the brief "Outrage!" entry (see below) I was not going to blog anymore today. I have to get ready for the big Halloween party. But, I was reading the Post Gagette again, which, as you know, makes me gag. And I found something about some more insightful reporting which they plan to do. Check this out! It's from the "need your help" section of the web site. They need help writing an article about people's favorite serving dishes used for Holiday meals. I can hardly wait for the shocking coverage of this late-breaking news: Suburban Woman Loves Serving Stuffing in Pyrex Bowl! Or, how about the following groundbreaking expose? Shadyside Couple Uses a Platter they Bought in Provence! (P.S. Provence is a place in France. Shadyside people go there all the time.)

These kinds of stories are even more newsworthy than most of the stuff you see on WPXI. So, it did get me to wondering. What serving dishes would our mayoral candidates prefer?

I was thinking that ReSantis would probably prefer one of those gold-plated shovels that Republicans get when they go to groundbreakings for giant corporate office parks in places like Southpointe and Cranberry. ReSantis would use this shovel to serve up big helpings of b**ls**t! The shovel must be ReSantis' favorite serving dish. And I think he uses it all the time to serving steaming, heaping portions in his big downtown loft which is not even really in a Pittsburgh neighborhood.

Our Mayor Luke would probably prefer a dish that had been handed down through generations of Ravenstahls and was given to his wife as a wedding present by Luke's grandmother. It would probably be something in the shape of a pilgrim or a turkey, which show Luke's patriotism. I'll bet Luke and his wife use this dish when they serve thanksgiving to all of their neighbors in Summer Hill, which is a true Pittsburgh neighborhood.

I was just thinking that this would be another good reason to vote for Luke! Re Santis probably doesn't even have any serving dishes in the shape of turkeys or pilgrims! I think High tech people like ReSantis are all communists even though they are republicans. And everyone knows communists hate Turkeys because turkeys stand for freedom. Everybody also knows the Pilgrims broke away from England on the first thanksgiving so we could eat turkey and taste freedom! Luke commemorates freedom when he serves food on his turkey or pilgrim platter so a vote for Luke is a vote for freedom!