Stop Promoting ReSantis

ILuvLuke Gets Results! Update: After I invited Tim McNutty from the Post Gagette to view Pittsburgh's Best Blog, he wrote to me saying he will publish a profile of our lovely Luke in Sunday's Gagette! I hope the profile will be truthful and show the real Luke to Pittsburgh! - Gay4Luke

[I totally missed this post from Gay4Luke yesterday and I think it is so great I'm making it the top story today - ILuvLuke(Strawberryway)]

There has been so much nasty news reporting recently about our Mayor Luke that I have been feeling really bad. So, Saturday night, I went out for a hard night of partying at some of my favorite gay bars. I went to bed feeling pretty good. But, what do you think I woke up to Sunday morning? No, not that you silly goose! (I wish!) Get your mind out of the gutter. This is a family-friendly blog! No, it was this! An appalling article in the terrible Mayor Ravenstahl-bashing Post Gazette by that horrid Luke-hating Tim McNulty. He has pretty much written a campaign ad for DeSantis! It makes me so mad I cannot see straight!

They're just basically saying that DeSantis is so great. That is a complete slap in the face to Luke, who is doing such a good job as mayor. Next thing you know the Post-Gazette will come out and endorse DeSantis--and then they will be just like that piece of Dick Scaife's used toilet paper, the Tribune Review. I wonder if David Shribman is actually Dick Scaife in disguise! Probably all that stuff about Dickie and Ritchie Scaife's icky divorce is just a ploy to make us think the Post Gazette is not another one of Dickie's hobbies. Dick Scaife is the kind of man who gives the word dick a bad name! Anyway, I digress, this article made me so upset it had me gagging, so now I am going to call it the Pittsburgh Post GAGette!

I want to say a few things about what is wrong with this article. But, first I want to write about the whole thing about Luke using the Homeland Security Vehicle (HSV) for going to the concert and out to bars. Luke is the Mayor, so he has to know how the HSV works! What better way to do this than test drive it? I feel better knowing that Luke knows how to operate the HSV, because I want Luke to be ready to take his rightful place behind the wheel when the terrorists come!! Just as Luke is behind the wheel driving our great city, so he should also be behind the wheel of the HSV. Besides, there were not any homeland security incidents the night of the Toby Keith Concert (well, unless you consider crappy country music to be a terroristic threat to National Security! I do!). And if there are no homeland security threats, then why shouldn't somebody make good use of the HSV? Everybody knows that cars work better when you drive them a lot!

Well, back to Tim McNuTTy's (notice my new knickname for the writer!) Post Gagette article. It says that DeSantis supported Rick Santorum. Well, in the words of Ricky Ricardo, DeSantis has "got some 'shplaining to do" before he gets my vote, no matter how much Post Gagette wants me to give it to him. Rick Santorum? Puh-lease! it is not for nothing that his name is also a dirty, dirty word which I cannot repeat here (look it up). The people of PA kicked Santorum out on his self-righteous fag-hating lilly white a*s, so we are not about to vote for any Republican mayor here in Pittsburgh, no matter what Tim McNutty and the Post Gagette try to tell us to do. Which, last time I checked, Pittsburgh was still part of the great state of PA. Of course, Luke does not support Santorum so that is a big bonus in his favor instead of ReSantis (I like this knickname!). Mr. McNutty does not mention that Luke does not support Santorum, so this is the first problem with the article.

Second, the other thing I did not like about the article was how it tells us that Mark ReSantis is so great because he is a high-tech executive and has gone to Washington DC and all sorts of stuff! So what? Who cares? Luke probably went to Washington once on a high school field trip or something! Didn't everybody? I certainly did and I am here to tell you that it is not all that great. Congress is spelled B O R I N G! Once was enough for me. You cannot even get decent peirogie there! Our 27 year old mayor has been busy running the City and going on Letterman to promote our city, and meeting celebrities. He certainly doesn't have time to go to Washington DC all the time and schmooze with a bunch of dumb politicians, especially when the place is filled with Republicans! Besides, Luke has not yet had time to become a high tech executive because he has devoted his entire 27 years to selflessly pursuing a public service career, not to becoming a zillionaire. So, that's a whole bunch more things wrong with the article!

Fourth, ReSantis is not married and does not have a family. The article says that he has devoted his life to being a workaholic and has not had time for a family. Doesn't he go out to bars and meet women who might want to marry him? At least Luke is married and has a nice wife. And they still enjoy setting a good example by going to bars and Toby Keith concerts with their friends and mingling with the public! The article does not mention this but I think it is important for our mayor to be married so that we can have a first lady of Pittsburgh. This is an important job! Think of all the good Mona Murphy did for our city while Tom was Mayor. I do not think the Post Gagette should be promoting a man to be mayor who nobody will even marry! Of course they never talk about this because they do not want Luke to be our Mayor anymore. So there is another problem with the article. They are trying to tell us to vote for an unmarried man to be Mayor!

Of course, I suppose maybe ReSantis could be gay, but I doubt it because he is not very good looking. And if he were gay, that would be okay because I think it is time for Pittsburgh to have a gay mayor! Why won't anyone who is gay run for mayor?! All of the potential gay mayors keep dropping out of the race, which is too bad. I would vote for a gay mayor and his partner to be the male "first lady of Pittsburgh!" If ReSantis is gay, the Mr. Tim McNutty should tell us, so that's another problem with the article. It does not tell us if ReSantis is unmarried because he is an man loving gay or just because he is a misogynistic woman hating jerk. And to think that they accuse Luke of hating women just because of that whole police protection from abuse nonsense!

ReSantis also worked for the First President Bush and the article tells us this as if we should be impressed by it. We're not. It obviously means that ReSantis is a Republican (which we already knew, of course) but how can they think a Republican can be Mayor of Pittsburgh? They are just so stupid!

Finally, this is the last thing about the article that is really dumb. Who cares how ReSantis pronounces the word "Measure?" They are trying to tell us that because he pronounces it wrong, he is not a true Pittsburgher, so he would be a good Mayor. Because, since he is a foreigner, he knows what is best for us. That makes me so mad I could spit!!! I don't want some guy from Mercer County (Where is that anyway? Ohio?) coming in here and telling me what to do. Only real Pittsburghers like Luke can know what is best for Pittsburgh and Pittsburghers

I don't know what is going on over there at the Post Gagette. But it is their job to report the truth to promote our city and our mayor and make sure we all look good. But then they go off and publish some nonsense promoting somebody who is running against our mayor. Somebody who is not even a democrat! They are supposed to support our City which is all democrats so they have made a big mistake by practically telling us to vote for ReSantis! I demand that Tim McNutty and the Post-Gagette give Luke equal time and write nice truthful things about him so that the Democrats of this City can make an informed choice for Mayor in November!