Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Mayor Must Be Kept Safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rich Lord is my first inductee in to the Poo-Poo Potatohead Hall of Fame. Today, he pushed it too far with his story on The Mayor's security detail. What does that guy, Mr Lord, do? Sit around drinking expresso and thinking up stupid ways to attack Our Mayor?

Here is Mr. Lord thinking about his next story idea...

"Hmmm, I wonder if the mayor uses toilet paper paid for by the taxpayers? I wonder how many squares he uses per wipe? Maybe he is using to much?"
A sip of expresso.
"I bet I can make everyone upset by telling them that the mayor uses one whole roll of toilet paper per bathroom session! I'll tell them that he sits there on the golden toilet that only the mayor uses and spins the paper off the roll into a big pile and then only uses the last few inches! That will make everyone mad!"
A sip of expresso.
"Then I'll tell them that he calls in the policeman with the most overtime to come down to city hall to pick up all the toilet paper off the floor so the city can pay the policeman more overtime. I'll say that policeman has already made $1,593,837 THIS YEAR and the year is just half over"

That is how I think Rich Lord writes his stories.

And just to set the record straight, the reason The Mayor needs so much security is because his critics are such wackos. Read any of those Pittsburgh blogs and you'll see people that should be in Western Pshyic! If I were The Mayor and read those things, I'd want some big fat tough policeman by my side all the time even in bed. I would not feel safe.

Mr. Lord, I hope you are happy. You have made me drink 4 IC Lights and its not even dinner time.