The Grandest of New Years to All

The year of the past 2007 was a formable of my life. I found the fair city of Pittsburgh thank you to the Internet and was slowly seduced. Now I am in a full love affair with a city on the other side of the world.
If I am allowed to compare Pittsburgh to a woman, I would say it has been like finding a young woman in a corner of library of books. Though she is not of the make of a super model, I sense something special. I walk close to the table where she is studying. Here hair is up like a librarian. I sit down to talk to her and she is very friendly. I notice she is not reading the most literary of books maybe something like a book of self help for her low esteem. I tell her she needs to put her chin in the air and to stop feeling like the runt of the litter of calves. Then I sing her a song....

Hey there, Georgy girl
Swingin down the street so fancy-free
Nobody you meet could ever see the loneliness there....
inside you...

Hey there, Georgy girl
Why do all the boys just pass you by?
Could it be you just don't try or is it the clothes you wear?
You're always window shopping but never stopping to buy
So shed those dowdy feathers and fly....
a little bit...

Hey there, Georgy girl
Theres another Georgy deep inside
Bring out all the love you hide
and, oh, what a change thered be
The world would see a new Georgy girl

Hey there, Georgy girl
Dreamin of the someone you could be
Life is a reality, you can't always run away
Dont be so scared of changing and rearranging yourself
It's time for jumping down from the shelf....
a little bit....

Hey there, Georgy girl
There's another Georgy deep inside
Bring out all the love you hide and, oh, what a change thered be
The world would see a new Georgy girl...
Wake up, Georgy girl
Come on, Georgy girl

At this point she absorbs the wisdom I am giving. She let's down her hair and takes off her stuffy sweater. She becomes Lindsey Lohan!

She shines with a brillience that she has she never thought she had inside. She becomes the most beautiful of the whole world.

My goal for 2008 is to make Pittsburgh into Linsey Lohan. Pittsburgh, I hope you listen to my wisdom or else you are doomed to becoming an old maid! Remember there are people who want you to stay ugly so they can feel better than you. You must destroy them.

Also as a goal for 2008, I hope to make my virgin trip to Pittsburgh. You must become the Lindsey Lohan before then or you will make me very sad. It will cost me much money to make my journey unless I find someone from Pittsburgh who will see the value of me visiting and will pay my journey and expenses. I have recieved offers from Nigeria to help me pay but I do not need to also have the Nigeria kings hidden fortune as well. I prefer my simple life. I would hope for a powerful Pittsburgher of passion and vision to step up and say, "Pierre, we are the Lindsey Lohan and we wish for you to come to us and make love." I believe all possibilities are possible.