Tuesday, January 15, 2008

My Parking Chair Update!!!!

So you might remember that my Parking Chair was stolen right around The Election? Well, the mystery has been solved sort of. I was walking my little dog Myron (named after MyronCope) around the block and it happened to be trash day. While little Myron was squatting making a BM I noticed my parking chair leg poking out of my neighbors black trash bag. I ripped the thing open and there it was with all my "Luke For Mayor" posters and everything. Someone had taken my nice cut out face of the Mayor and burned out his eyes with cigarettes and put devil horns on him and wrote the numbers 666 on his forehead.

The problem is the garbage pile is right between 2 houses so I can't tell who really took it. One house is my neighbor Helen who is a little old lady and the other one I think is a crack house full of kids that go to the culinary arts school. I figured its them because that is something they would do. I wasn't going to there door because who knows what they would do if I woke them up from their drug hangovers. You know they care knives!!!

So I went up to Helen's door and knocked. It took a long time but she finally answered the door. I asked her if she had taken my parking chair.

She said NO!

And then she went off saying things like I don't even have a car so why do I need to save a space. Then she called me mean. Then she reminded me that I had put stickers under peoples windshield wipers telling the to vote for The Mayor and it rained and then the neighbors had to scrape the stickers off.

She said that when she had a neighbor Christmas party where she invited all "the nice neighbors" (which it seems didn't include me) she said someone brought the chair over and put it her dinning room for the party and everyone started attacking it. Then she slammed the door.
I went and got my chair from the trash and put it right back where it had stood for 20 plus years. Now it looks awful. Before it was all rusty and ripped with some of the yellow foam showing on cushion but now it is all bent up and yucky.

I know in my heart I am not mean, and I am going to rely on my good Catholic upbringing and forgive her. I know I still have friends in the neighborhood like the retarded couple up the street and there are some other little old ladies who we've lived together for most of our lives and I've watched their children grow up and their husbands die.

The thing that brings me the most strength through this tough time is that I am the biggest supporter of The Mayor and I have his 311 number on speed dial. And I know if I have any problems I can just give him a call. Also, I run the BEST blog in Pittsburgh so I sit back and be happy about that.