Your Beloved Kennywood Will Not Become Tacowood

From Paris which is very close to Spain

I have been learning about a previously unknown to me part of my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. It is your lovely park of amusement - Kennywood!!!

I am learning that people with fond memories are upset that the Spanish are buying it. It seems that people's hate of Mexico is getting confused with their hate of Spain. Since I live in Paris and have often traveled to Spain, I wish to share my grand thoughts.

First, the Spanish do not eat tacos (while they do have something similar to a taco it is not named a taco). Tacos are not Spanish but Mexican. If you are worried about what kind of food your Kennywood will change to let me set your stereotype correct and now worry that they will be serving Tapas or Paella.

Tapas are just little servings of food. So from what I have learned about Kennywood food, you may expect little funnel cakes or petite funnel cakes and the beloved Potato Patch dish will be about 5 pommes frites arranged gracefully on a plate with a dripping of sauce of cheese.

As for Paella, it is just rice mixed with any garbage you may find in your kitchen so expect rice mixed with cotten candy as your new treat.

As for the Kennywood become more Spanish, expect it to open not at a set time, but whenever. And expect everything to stop for most of the afternoon, but expect it to stay open until 4 in the morning. Dinner will not be served until midnight.

You may expect higher security when getting on the rides. Ever since the Madrid train bombing, people have been on high alert. You will have to show up at least 2 hours before your roller coaster departs so everyone will be checked and run through metal and bomb detectors. Likely men with military rifles will stand guard at each ride but you are likely use to big guns every where with it being America "n'at" ( that is my first posting using my new language of Pittsburghese. Have I used it correctly?)

A small area will likely be claimed by the Basques. It will likely be near where the trash is kept. Trouble will likely be often in this little funny part of your beloved park. You will ask yourself, "why do people feel so full of passion for this little trash place?"

I do not expect your park to change much and you will still have fun which is what you want, right. And you will still eat a lot of food, but it will be in many servings.

I do feel gladness in thinking that the United States gave Europe EuroDisney, so may we now export back to you a similar gift. Since it is from Europe, it will be full of class even if it is from Spain.