My Heart Flutters with HOPE!!!!

Dispatched from the Fair City of Paris

I admit that my anger has been boiling me like a tea kettle. I read somewhere that the Grand Mayor Luke Ravenstahl was in my town of home Paris. I would be understanding if he wished not to connect with me for he was traveling with his wife and I must truthfully admit that my town was built for Love and for the virgin traveler when taking that first drink of this city the intoxication would make any virgin traveler giddy and forgetful of the goings on of the real world and wish to forever spend days and nights in the bed. So I was understanding if the Mayor wished not to contact me.

But then I read, that he had a breakfast where he showed an exciting Point Of Power Presentation. People were invited by email but I failed to recieve an invitation. I had not felt such anger since Van Halen dismissed my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. We know where that anger got me and you - Van Halen relented and will be visiting you next month!!!

I was so very close to destroying my Pittsburgh scrapebook that I have created. For to long I had tolorated the taunts of my friends, family and co-worker who called me Donnie Quixote (which they pronounced Donnie as "Daawn-nee" as they imaged a True Pittsburgher would say). Poor Andre was named "Sancho" as if he were my earthly squire!

But I have gained strength through this name and in my darkest hour of last night I thought "What would the true Don Quixote do?" I call for a vision to show me the way on my quest.

This morning, my call was answered when I read your paper and saw this article - Vive la Downtown! Business grants available to instill a touch of Paris.

I shall be the touch? Was this a sign? The program is called Paris to Pittsburgh which makes me think of myself traveling there! What could be more Parisian than a Parisian! I would be more than willing to properly display the flowers in front of your shops. I would be more than willing to develop my mime show. Every day your people of business could spend a lovely two hours of their lunch time experiencing a show I will develop entitled titled "Mime Time with Pierre". If this will get me to my adoptable city, I shall do it!

My heart has been lifted as like a butterfly. There is hope in the world! Has this plan been planned all along by the Great Mayor?

I may soon be joining all of YINZ!

Happy Birthday, Mayor!!!!

I know you all wish I were dead, but I made a new years resolution that I would be nice this year. It all started when my family ruined my CHRISTmas dinner by talking about how mean I am. I made a vow to myself that I was going to be nice all year so next CHRISTmas dinner I can tell them how nice I have been and then show them the long list of what jaggoffs they all are.

So far I have let everyone watch MY television set and eat MY snacks on MY couch. I even let my grandson's mother take me to see the V*gina Monologs!!!! So far I have not complained. My Jaggoff list is getting long and being nice has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

By the way, Mr. Tinklebreath (the greatest graphic desginer in Pittsburgh and a big fan of this website) made a calendar that we could sell on Cafepress. The Happy Birthday graphic above was for the month of February. The problem was Cafepress didn't want to print it so now I am left with all these great graphics that I am going to post through the year.

Thank you Mr. Tinklebreath.

Plus, I have been emailing with Pierre and he is really hart broken that he wasn't invited to The Mayor's breakfast in Paris. I've told him that it had to be a mistake. He wanted to start a blog named IDislikeLuke. I told him to take some deep breaths. Hopefully he will come back to the fold.

Happy Birthday Mayor!!!!!!!!!!!

The Quest For My Love?

Hello from the shining other Cultural Capital Paris!!

I give thanks to all for the support I am recieving in my quest. I with full truth feel I may be able to save your city. How may you explain that I have falling in love with a strange city on the other side of the world.

In Paris, we are use to visitors who come to our city who have dreams of making love to our city. Some since childhood have dreamed of a romantic city with such dreams of spring time in Paris or kissing under the Eiffel Tower. These images did not develop overnight. For centuries, we in France have cultivated such images like small plantings of flowers waiting for the blooming. Plus, we found long ago when searching for young women to make love to what better way to bring a weak kneed forgien girl with romantic dreams in her head right to you!!! They stay for a few days, fall in love, make love and then leave! We Parisians are not as dumb as you think. Have the mouse come to you, Cat!

I share this with you in Pittsburgh for hope that you can learn. Think of your visions of your city like a muscle. Exercise you visionary muscle every day!

My New Software Creation!

From Paris that has been upset by a young man ruining a bank!

This past weekend I made a software product to help with the removal of snow in my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. Being a technologist, this was very easy for myself.

If the city would like to see this, the can pay for my trip and I will buy a laptop and bring my software with me to show! If you wish to use my software product for the paving of streets or for the removing of trash, I can easily change the picture and some words and the system will be ready for that use too!

Here are some pictures. Click Pictures to see them correctly. It is very easy to use....

Pick your criteria for the streets demanding snow removal! Then hit the Go! button.


A detailed map is ready for the snow truck driver. In this example, is for the Mayor to get to work!


While I must be truthful and admit it does not work to the perfection I desire (currently it only works on Windows ME), with a contract and its purchase I can work out the problems and make it better than what the city currently possesses.

If you wish for a demostration in person, please e-mail me at pierre4pgh@gmailcom

Urban Redistribution Authority

Today, I read this article in the Post Gagette. It made me so mad I could spit. Or cry. I'm not sure which. Strawberry way will probably be drowning her sorrows in IC Light and Cigarettes when she reads it. Poor Strawberry. I wanted to write about this immediately in hopes that Mayor Luke would be able to do something about it.

Basically, what they are saying is that our beloved URA (that's the Urban Redevelopment Authority) just sold the old downtown GC Murpphy builing for $2.3 million. And, that the sale price is LESS than what they paid for it! How stupid is this? An agency of our bankrupt city is buying buildings, then selling them for a loss? Actually, according to the article, the URA paid $6.28 million for the properties!! So, they have sold it for about 1/3 what they paid for it.

Well, I am going to rename the URA the Urban Retardation Authority! With no offense intended to people who are mentally retarded. They cannot help it because they are born that way. But, the URA is behaving like a bunch of retards, and they were not born that way, so they have no excuse.

The URA claims that, by selling the property at a significant loss, they are turning a bad situation around. Of course, it was a stupid lawyer who said that, so what do you expect? Basically, they are just selling the property to Millcraft Industries for a song. Speaking of songs, it's like they think they are taking a frown and turning it upside down! But they are not! This still really makes me frown!

This would be like if you bought a vacant old house in Lawrenceville for, let's say, $65,000. Then, you just sat on it for a couple of years, letting it get even more run down and then re-sold it to a couple of crack dealers for $22,000! Why would you be so stupid as to do this? And, what are those crack dealers going to do with the house? Probably turn it into some kind of crack whore house for all their friends. How can this be turning a bad situation around? It would be just like that damn casino/whorehouse Don Barden is building for his gambling buddies on the Northside. God only knows how much the URA is paying Barden to build that thing! Or, you know, Millcraft already built that fancy Steakhouse in the former (brand new) Lazarus building (which the City and the URA basically paid for in the first place, then gave to Millcraft). The Steakhouse is just a place for the rich Millcraft crack whore friends of Jack Piatt to hang out. No regular folks can afford to go there, so it might as well be a crack whore house, which regular god-fearing people also do not go to. We just want to be able to go to a nice Denny's or Eat 'n Park and get a happy meal after church like real people. Does the URA do anything to help make this possible for us? NO! I would also be a bit happier if the URA would give somebody money to build some decent gay bars, then just let us LesBiGays and our creative class friends fix up everything real nice. But they do not do that either! Nope, it's just fancy places for rich people. Geez, you'd think that the Republican Loser DeSantis was running this City instead of Luke. Well, I know Luke wants somewhere to go after Church, even if, as a Catholic, he is not a true Christian.

Anyway, what is happening is that the URA basically gave 4 million dollars of the taxpayers' hard-earned money to Millcraft industries to build another fancy "redevelopment." Way to go URA! I do not like this waste of money at all. I am just really upset about it and I am wondering if Mayor Luke knows about it? Surely he would not let this happen!

URA's Shameful $4 million giveaway to Millcraft leads me to my second new name for the URA: Urban Redistribution Authority (because they redistribute money to rich people).

I hope Mayor Luke can put a stop to this madness and waste of public money. I know he wants to. Luke, are you reading this?

Many News That I Wish To Report And Make Commentary

From Paris Full of Love!

1) Man Goes To BasketBall Game:
I was reading about how Mr. Todd Reidbord left a meeting for the Planning Commission listening to angry people from the soon to be domed Hill District to have some relaxation by watching a BasketBall game. People from The Hill District are mad as they trend to be but also gangs of Pittsburgh Bloggers have their "female under clothing gathering tightly".
It is clear to me that Mr. Reidbord knew which way his vote was going to go when he first sat down in his chair. As the meeting went on for hours and hours beyond what we in France call a long work day beyond 5.5 hours, boredom must have settled into his body. If I were that man, it would be hard to keep my eyes from closing. I would be doing puzzles like Sudoku (which is taking France like a storm. Beware of this addictive puzzle drug Pittsburgh if you have not been captured by it already!!!!). But if I were a powerful visionary like Mr. Reidbold, I would be working on my next Big Project and I would be making drawings of massive buildings and drawing maps of the properties I would need and figuring the amount of money I would want from the city. Then if I knew the Mayor was at a BasketBall game and I could show him my plans, I would rush to the game arena to show my plans and hopefully even before the Kickoff of the BasketBall game, I would have another many million dollar deal done.
This is how true people of vision do their work. I know many of you who are common would not understand. Since you mostly work on base instinct like an animal, your not understanding turns to anger. People of vision understand this from you and expect this. They understand you think the game is checkers but they are really playing that 4th Dimensional Chess game that was often shown on Star Trek!!!

2) I Have A New Almost GirlFriend!!!
While she is not up to Lindsey Lohan, I have found Cat Call who seems smart and full of advice. I find the graphic on her website Cat Call does not reflect her well. The graphic makes her appear set for the cartoon SouthPark.

3) Is Mr. Ravenstahl To Surprise Me?
I have read that Mr. Ravenstahl is traveling to my village of Paris with his wife Erin. While I am surprised that he has not had a minion contact me, I have read this as clearly he will be surprising me!
While I know not his itinerary, I will be expecting a phone call or having him appear from nowhere to shake my hand. I will gladly give a tour of my grand city! I will surely remind him that Paris is a grand place to do what it takes to start a family! We as the French would be proud if the next generation of Ravenstahls begin in our fair city. Félicitations!!!!

My Parking Chair Update!!!!

So you might remember that my Parking Chair was stolen right around The Election? Well, the mystery has been solved sort of. I was walking my little dog Myron (named after MyronCope) around the block and it happened to be trash day. While little Myron was squatting making a BM I noticed my parking chair leg poking out of my neighbors black trash bag. I ripped the thing open and there it was with all my "Luke For Mayor" posters and everything. Someone had taken my nice cut out face of the Mayor and burned out his eyes with cigarettes and put devil horns on him and wrote the numbers 666 on his forehead.

The problem is the garbage pile is right between 2 houses so I can't tell who really took it. One house is my neighbor Helen who is a little old lady and the other one I think is a crack house full of kids that go to the culinary arts school. I figured its them because that is something they would do. I wasn't going to there door because who knows what they would do if I woke them up from their drug hangovers. You know they care knives!!!

So I went up to Helen's door and knocked. It took a long time but she finally answered the door. I asked her if she had taken my parking chair.

She said NO!

And then she went off saying things like I don't even have a car so why do I need to save a space. Then she called me mean. Then she reminded me that I had put stickers under peoples windshield wipers telling the to vote for The Mayor and it rained and then the neighbors had to scrape the stickers off.

She said that when she had a neighbor Christmas party where she invited all "the nice neighbors" (which it seems didn't include me) she said someone brought the chair over and put it her dinning room for the party and everyone started attacking it. Then she slammed the door.
I went and got my chair from the trash and put it right back where it had stood for 20 plus years. Now it looks awful. Before it was all rusty and ripped with some of the yellow foam showing on cushion but now it is all bent up and yucky.

I know in my heart I am not mean, and I am going to rely on my good Catholic upbringing and forgive her. I know I still have friends in the neighborhood like the retarded couple up the street and there are some other little old ladies who we've lived together for most of our lives and I've watched their children grow up and their husbands die.

The thing that brings me the most strength through this tough time is that I am the biggest supporter of The Mayor and I have his 311 number on speed dial. And I know if I have any problems I can just give him a call. Also, I run the BEST blog in Pittsburgh so I sit back and be happy about that.