What Kind of Dish?

After writing the brief "Outrage!" entry (see below) I was not going to blog anymore today. I have to get ready for the big Halloween party. But, I was reading the Post Gagette again, which, as you know, makes me gag. And I found something about some more insightful reporting which they plan to do. Check this out! It's from the "need your help" section of the web site. They need help writing an article about people's favorite serving dishes used for Holiday meals. I can hardly wait for the shocking coverage of this late-breaking news: Suburban Woman Loves Serving Stuffing in Pyrex Bowl! Or, how about the following groundbreaking expose? Shadyside Couple Uses a Platter they Bought in Provence! (P.S. Provence is a place in France. Shadyside people go there all the time.)

These kinds of stories are even more newsworthy than most of the stuff you see on WPXI. So, it did get me to wondering. What serving dishes would our mayoral candidates prefer?

I was thinking that ReSantis would probably prefer one of those gold-plated shovels that Republicans get when they go to groundbreakings for giant corporate office parks in places like Southpointe and Cranberry. ReSantis would use this shovel to serve up big helpings of b**ls**t! The shovel must be ReSantis' favorite serving dish. And I think he uses it all the time to serving steaming, heaping portions in his big downtown loft which is not even really in a Pittsburgh neighborhood.

Our Mayor Luke would probably prefer a dish that had been handed down through generations of Ravenstahls and was given to his wife as a wedding present by Luke's grandmother. It would probably be something in the shape of a pilgrim or a turkey, which show Luke's patriotism. I'll bet Luke and his wife use this dish when they serve thanksgiving to all of their neighbors in Summer Hill, which is a true Pittsburgh neighborhood.

I was just thinking that this would be another good reason to vote for Luke! Re Santis probably doesn't even have any serving dishes in the shape of turkeys or pilgrims! I think High tech people like ReSantis are all communists even though they are republicans. And everyone knows communists hate Turkeys because turkeys stand for freedom. Everybody also knows the Pilgrims broke away from England on the first thanksgiving so we could eat turkey and taste freedom! Luke commemorates freedom when he serves food on his turkey or pilgrim platter so a vote for Luke is a vote for freedom!

Outrage!

I cannot believe that the Gagette did not mention Strawberry Way and this blog in their article about women bloggers, which Pierre mentions in his post this morning (see below). I have written the following letter to the writer:

Miss MacKenzie Carpenter,

I cannot believe that your article in the Post Gagette (my knickname for your newspaper, ask Tim McNutty about it) failed to mention the ILuvLuke blog (http://iluvluke.blogspot.com/) and its creator, Strawberry Way. Not only is it Pittsburgh's best blog, but it was started by a woman.

Gay4Luke@gmail.com

P.S. Are you any relation to two of my favorite singers, The Carpenters? Also, I wondered if you might be named after the great actress from One Day at a Time MacKenzie Phillips. Please let me know.

A Quick Note From Me For I Am Very Busy

Hello from the Great City of Paris in the Great Country of Steeler Naton!

I must write fast for I must hook up two Laser Printers today for my job and remove one paper jam.

I was able to watch the Steelers win with my new Pittsburgh convert Andre at his work of place in the department store in the suburbs. It was fantastic to watch the Steelers trample the Cincinnati Pussy Cats! My record continues with never watching a game where the Steelers have lost. I look forward to watching the Steelers beat the Pussys again in December!!!

I missed mention of Strawberry Way as a Great Woman Blogger in your paper this morning?

In one week, I am counting the days until Mr. Ravenstahl winsfor the First Time as Mayor!!!

Ravenstahl WINS The Endorsement From This Website

This website has chosen to endorse Luke Ravenstahl for Mayor of Pittsburgh.

For us, it was an obvious choice because he is the best candidate.

Mr. Ravenstahl has the experience of being Mayor while the other guy does not. Think about it. If you were having brain surgery would you go with the guy who has actually been in an operating room? Or would you go with the guy who has "some good ideas" on how to do brain surgery? We would stick with the one with experience.

The Mayor, besides being one of the best looking mayors during our lifetime, has gotten the youngsters of the city excited about the future. There is a whole generation of Pittsburgh kids who can now say, "If that guy can do it, I can to!" The Mayor has shown that greatness is within reach for all of us. Now these kids instead of sitting there thinking, "Dude, I'll never be great because I am lame." They can now say, "I can reach greatness no matter what." That is what they call inspiring hope which is what The Mayor has done.

The Mayor has a grand vision for the city and that is nice. It is like having our own little JFK right here in Pittsburgh. And the great thing is that he is young and he can be mayor for a very long time. Many people are jealous of him because he is young. Us older people like him but it seems to be the middle age people who have wasted their youth smoking dope and listening to rock music are the ones who are his harshest critics because they wish they were in his young fancy shoes. They are the ones who wish they could be out until 2am going to concerts but instead they are stuck with their miserable lives sitting behind their keyboards blogging. They are also the ones who wasted their lives getting masters degrees instead of actually doing real things that normal 27 year olds do. We must remember Envy is one of the deadly sins.

The Mayor has brought out the best in the city. Take for example this Blog. If it were not for The Mayor, this Blog won't be around.

So in conclusion, we endorse Luke Ravenstahl for Mayor.

[There you go. There is our endorsement. And unlike the Post Gazette, we didn't spend half of it being all negative about that poo head other guy who is running for Mayor.]

I AM SOOOO MAD AT THE POST-GAZETTE!!!!!!!!!!

As you might no, I don't like Blogging on Sunday or on Steelers Days but when I opened my paper this morning and saw that they ENDORSE RESANTIS I layed a stream of vomit across my kitchen floor!!!!!!!!!

I am so mad I know I'll have to buy a new pack of cigerettes for today and I have already needed an IC Light to calm down. Good thing I went to 4 oclock mass last night because today is going to be a tough day!

Since I don't want to blog to much today, I am going to make my announcement of who this blog endorses for Mayor tomorrow!!!!

REmember ReSantis wants the Bengals to win today./

My New Fantastic Story

Hello from Paris...

In my last post, I stated about the future "the local boggers will complain with things like "Grand Mayor Luke Ravenstahl XI took a GMC Space Defender 3000 which is actually a Home Solar System Security Space Craft to see the Tiger Woods cyborg replicant that was grown from actual Tiger Woods DNA.""

I enjoy the science fiction. So I have written the following story of shortness.....

My brain phone in the center of my brain was ringing. I answered it and it was The Grand President of All The Americas, Luke Ravenstahl.

"Pierre, I know you are in your grand penthouse apartment in Paris right now, and you have been such a grand help in making Pittsburgh the Capital of the All The Americas, but I need a personal consultation with you. Are you available?"

I checked my calendar. "My secretary has me leaving for my vacation house in Japan in a few hours to spend the weekend with Lindsy Lohan who is now clean and sober, but I will delay my trip and come to Pittsburgh now." I told the Grand President.

I jumped on the Maglev train from Pittsburgh to Paris that was built at a cost of $110000 trillion dollars and despite the expense, I was able to make it to Pittsburgh in 20 minutes. A parade of black limos met me at the Maglev station and drove me with police escort to "the Green Zone". We drove through the heavy guardians surrounding Grant Street Area. And I rode the solid gold evelator to the 80th floor of the City County Grand Capital of All The Americas Building that led me directly to Mr. Ravenstahl's office.

The elevator door opened and Mr. Ravenstahl stood up from behind his desk.

"Pierre, it is so good to see you. It has been so long." He came from behind his desk and shook my hand and we gave each other the european kiss on the two cheeks.

"Pierre, here is a cigar and a gobblet of scotch from Mr. Ford." Mr. Ravenstahl lit my cigar and the scotch tasted grand.

"Pierre, you have done so much for me but also for helping to make the Great City of Pittsburgh into the Capital of All of The Americas. You might think I might have forgotten that today is your birthday?"

I was surprised that with all the great things that Mr. Ravenstahl must keep in his mind that he would remember my humble birthday. "Sir, I am surprise."

"You are surprised now? Just wait." He motioned for me to walk over to a tall grand window. I walked over and we were so high up you could see all of Pittsburgh below.

"Happy Birthday, Pierre." Mr. Ravenstahl said and he pointed toward Mountain Washington. On the top was a 500 foot tall gold statue of myself looking out over Pittsburgh.

A tear grew in my eye. It was the greatest honor to be recognized for all my hard work in helping to make Pittsburgh the greatest city it had become.

The End

ReSantis-Satan: Is There a Connection?

Do NOT have Little Frankie dress up in his communion suit for Trick or Treat!!!! Oh my God, no! Halloween is the devil's holiday, and he does not like it one bit when trick or treaters dress like they are going to eat the body and and drink the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ on his holiday. (By the way, does anybody give that out on Halloween?) No, I am telling you Satan would not like this one bit. No matter how cute Little Frankie looks! I am afraid Satan might get so mad he would cause ReSantis to get elected, and we cannot have that. You know how Satan is! He has the power to make people vote wrong (that is, republican). Oh my God, wait! I just figured something out! ReSantis might BE Satan. Look: mArk deSANTis!!!!! All the letters are there you just have to rearrange them. Letters do not lie. Well, this as all the more reason to vote for Luke, who looked so cute in his first communion outfit. We know Luke is not Satan!