I Luv Luke

My Fondest Thoughts for You Pittsburgh!

2009-11-30T04:08:00.000-08:00

Hello from the Pittsburgh of Europe... PARIS!

Sleep was escaping me so I went to a bar and I happened up on my former love the Steelers loose to the Black birds of Baltimore. Ah, the memories have come back to me. Pittsburgh you were my first love!

Oh, Pittsburgh! What has come of you? It is as if you have become a Hooker for The Crack! You were so beautiful when I loved you, but I looked away for a year and what has happened to you?

Our Mayor has now crashed his hometown security SUV into a tree while escaping his wife for putting on a nother man's golf course? And there is rumors that she hit him with a golf club!

Please say this is not the so?

Please heal, Pittsburgh. If it is my love you need through these tough times of the trouble, I will pay attention to you for a while. Put your head on my shoulder Pittburgh and I will hug you and feel my love.

XO
Pierre

Pittsburgh is BIGTIME!!!

2009-11-02T03:44:00.000-08:00

Somebody gave me this article about Our Mayor... here

It is from the New York Times! Which is the biggest oldest paper in the world and there we are.

Can you believe that there are people in New York City who are reading that article and there is quotes from Doug Sheild's? It is Doug Sheilds talking to New Yorkers. I find that neat.

One thing I got to thinking when reading that is how good it looks to the world that Pittsburgh has 2 other people running against The Mayor and they are not all Old White men. They are in their thirtys and one of them is black. The Mayor is the youngest one. I think that looks very good for Pittburgh. Where in other cities kids their ages are just finishing working at McDonald's or Starbucks, but here in Pittsburgh we can have them running our city!

UGH! Why do people want to make Politics here in Pittsburgh ugly?

2009-10-23T16:09:00.000-07:00

I talk to my friends all the time. I can't believe that everyone is giving The Mayor grief for having a friend. And talking to them.

So where do this end? He can't talk to anyone about anything having to do with Pittsburgh if he is hanging out at a bar having a few beers? Does he have to invite Bill Peduto to The Mayor's guys night out? A poker night has to turn out to a night hanging out with Bill Peduto or Doug Shields? Give me a break!?!?!?!?!??!

Mayor Luke is a vibrant, fast mover who is quick on his feet. He was a football player and he brings that same skill to the political Football Statium. He brought his quarterback skills to leading our city. We should call him Mayor Luke Rothlesburgher. He will scramble out and make Pittsburgh score. If you don't believe this, you are a turd.

I AM SOOOO MAD I Have to FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

Ever since I gave up Blogging, I have been having a nice life., but that hasn''t kept me from knowing stuff. I have been reading the paper and the blogs. Today when I was watching the video tape I made of the debate last night, i got so mad I had to come back to Blogging. Mr. Asscklin attacking our young Mayor was enough to stir this hornets net.

I AM SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come on. Why would The Mayor trust a guy who lives in Cranberry. That was enough to make me laugh. Luke is Pittsburgh born and bread so why would he trust someone who lives in Cranberry and let them "control" him?

That set off my alarms that anyone who believed it was a wacko. I checked my "wacko" channels the same way I check my scanner... I found Rich lord (who I think I use to have a clever nick name for but I can't remember it... Was it "Dick Lord"?). He was all over it like my dog Myron Cope finding a cat turd in a bush. I checked that Pittburgher guy who I hopefully has left Pittsburgh and is enjoying his medical marijuana in California to cure his mental illness. He has said nothing. HA HA. Look, Burgher, I am still blogging! I am nearing 70 and I beat you!That Bram guy is another story.

Love,
Strawberry Way

PS: I am a real person and not some sort of "astro turf" thing put out there by Pat Fords wife whatever her name was. Never accuss me of that again.

The End

2009-03-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

It has been a good run, but I have to put this blog to rest.

My granddaughter Tiffany has been hogging my computer so I can never get on it and when I do I keep getting these terrible messages that pop up asking me to take my shirt off and do other terrible things. It has to be some kind of aweful virus. So I now hate my computer and I'm giving it to my granddaughter.

I talked to Pierre about it and he said that he has fallen in love with another "adoptable city" Cleveland. I told him he was stupid and that was that.

As for Gay4Luke, he said he would always be in love with Luke.

So say goodbye to the oldest blogger in Pittsburgh. I will always be around playing bingo and keeping IC Light in business.

As for Luke, I will always be your biggest supporter. Even though you never sent me a letter or email thanking me for all my support, I will always think that I helped you become who you are today. I will always think of you as my grandson I wish I could have except I got a bunch of jaggoff grand kids.

Love,
Strawberry Way

Mr Shield is a Quiter before Beginning

2009-02-10T04:11:00.000-08:00

From Close to Spring Time in Paris

I read that Mr. Shields will not run against the undefeetable Mr. Steelerstahl. I believe that he has seen his future that would be if he did and it would be the realization that he is a failure. I realize the prospect of being told you are a failure by a whole town is a fright so it is easier to fail before you begin and get it over with. I congrat Mr. Sheilds on his wise move. Now may Mr. Steelerstahl move forward like the Steelers and win and make the whole Steelers Nation proud.

Like Big Ben, I must admit that I am doing this with an injury. I have a small cut on my finger so please have pitty for me and see that I am full of bravery!!!

For I Wish to Thank All of Steelers Nation

2009-02-03T03:33:00.000-08:00

From the Blacked and Goldened Paris!!!!

I wish to thank every Steeler and Steeler fan for welcoming me into the Steeler Nation. I have been warmed by your black and golden shower of love and adoration.

Through the gray winter times of Paris, I have my heart float to my most adoptable city of Pittsburgh where I beleieve the sun always shines and is always peaking like a smile face from behind the city's lovely hills. In most pictures of Pittsburgh, I see the blue sky and I dream of being there. It might be cold and I have coat on but inside I am warm with good thoughts and good feelings. After your Super Bowl win, Pittsburgh, you are like a woman on the morning after a night of love and passion. You stay in bed. I will bring you breakfast.

We Have Won THE WORLD SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!

2009-02-02T03:24:00.000-08:00

Hello from Paris...
We have had celebrated here too! It is marvel!
Joy Forever Viva Steeler McBeam!

I live blog these scenes from the streets of Paris after the big game. The city erupted like a pimple of excitement like a mad insane crazy spastic prison ship landing on the island of Lesbos during spring break... Crawzy! MAD! Given it was very early in the morning, my Turkish friends saved some gallons of red wine and woke up the local Leftists and we commenst our celebration Europe-Style. I hope to see pictures of YINZ soon celebrating.

STEEL FOREVER!!!

I Too Wish Too Change My Name But My Mother Would Kill Me

2009-01-15T04:10:00.001-08:00

From Pittaris .... that is Pittsburgh mixed with Paris

I heard the news. Mr. Steelerstahl is changing his name to Steelerstahl. This is a most brilliant stroke of genius that shows true insight. I wish to change my name but my mother would dice my skull into cubes. Our last name comes from the 15th century and my mother often screams "I have worked so hard and put up with so much shit for this name, do not forsake it."

So I wish I could change my name to reflect my Steelers Pride. I would be Mr. Pierre McBeam. Pray for me.

Does Not Freedom of Speak Matter

2009-01-13T03:18:00.000-08:00

Hello from the glorious Center of the World... Paris!

While I am overly excited by the Steelers and my Turkish friends have become addicts and chant for more wins like they are addicted to the opium like fever that comes from being a citizen of the Steelers Nation!!! But that is another story.

But some news has put a shock into me. I read on line today that Mayor Luke now is embracing Finance Reform like it is new pretty woman.

It is my understanding that in America that giving money is Freedom of Speak. And the Freedom of Speak is so important that the Founding Fathers made it the Number One in the List of Freedoms. What will be next? People will not be able to carry guns everywhere?

I am distressed that the People of Vision of Pittsburgh such as Real Estate Developers and Bill Board owners voices will be stiffled! People of Vision are People too!

If you are poor, you should be very upset with this. It is the People of Vision that have kept Pittsburgh going. If you live in a cold house with broken windows, you should feel lucky because if it were not for People of Vision such as Duquesne Club members, You little man would be living in a cardboard box! Don't you see this?

Mayor, I notice that a true Little Man may try to run against you... Patrick Dowd. He only has $3,000 to his name. You have over $1,000,000!!! He only has .03% of the Freedom of Speak that you have. The people have already spoken so you should take your big shoe and squish him like the little bug that he is.

I'm So Sad:( sort of

2009-01-05T20:16:00.000-08:00

from the Northside...

I finally got Tiffany off the computer so I can use it. I went to see what was going on the Burgh O Sphere and what do I find... the Burghreport is gone!!!!!!! Just like Mark DeSantis. GONE!

That site cost me more smashed packs of cigarettes, more spilt beer than I care to remember. I know my little dog Myron is happy I wont be kicking him as much.

I have no idea who the Burger was even though I bet he will be spending all his new free time at the coffee shop in his black turtle neck reading poetry, but I have to say I am actually sad to see him go. As much as I thought it was a den of hate and vice, I still visited it. In fact, it got me started in this blog business because it was so full of hate for our young smart and bright mayor that I had to start this blog. So this is about as much sad as you will get from me because I am a happy person unless I'm mad. So there is your tear. Are you happy?

It is a NEW YEAR and I am Still ALIVE!!!!!!

2009-01-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

from me on the Northside!!!!!!!!

I am finally awake and it is a NEW YEAR.

Last night my whole family went down to First Night and I stayed home and watched everything on tv. I was watch one channel and I think it was Time Square then they brought on this aweful puppet of Dick Clark. I always brought in the New Year with Dick Clark, but I saw him on tv last night and I spit IC Light all over my recliner. Could they do some special effects to clean him up. And he was missing a tooth!! Even Madonna wheres a cap to fill in the gap of her teeth. I had to find my remote and switch the channel as fast as I could.

I watched the first night thing and they had the ball instead of drop it rises up! That is great to show the world that we do everything backwards. Then it didn't even hit the top of the pole at midnight!!!! It was a few seconds late. Another great way to show we are behind the times!!!

Ok, here are my resolutions for the year.... I make it easy on myself...
- keep smoking
- keep drinking my beer
- play more Bingo
- support Pittsburgh by being the first person to enter the CaSINo when it opens on the Northside!!!!
- fight the people that want Pittsburgh to become the Californication of Westian Pennsylvania.
- support The Mayor
- keep this website being the best blog in the Pittsburgh Blogo Sphere!!!!!

There you go all you people that are so full of hate and hate The Mayor and this website and Hate ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Strawberry Way
The blogmistress of Pittsburgh
and Pittsburghs oldest Blogger

You Must Be So Happy I Am Alive!

2008-12-15T03:15:00.000-08:00

Bonjour Pittsburgh ( I try so hard not to speak french to you because my English is so very awesome.)

I watched the Steeler trample the crippled black birds of Ballymore:( The Steelers climbed to the top of the AFC North with the help of all of us in Steeler Nation!!!

I have been converting a Turkish family that runs a laundry to aim their satelight beam to watch the game. Now you have 8 new Pittsburgh Fans - Muhammet, Yunus, Firat, Gizem, Duygu, Emir, Goker and Murat. There are also all the women who they make watch. We have a fun time. I have taught them to do "THE WAVE" and "STEELERS SONG" (Which I made up because I do not know no Pittsburgh music?)

We watched the game in a group on a card table among the cloth washering and cheered and waved our hand-home-made Aweful Towels! We are one BIG UNIT! Me and Turkque friendz and Steeler Nation.... ONE BIG UNIT! I hope to post pictures sometime.

(If feel the need for a shirt with this on it to show my Pride? Mr. TinkleBreath may you make me memory objects...what do you call? Memory Mobile?

P.S. I was not one who wore masks and stole jewelry from the Big Stores here in Paris! No I did not rob and take money and fly to Pittsburgh to be with my friends Mr. Luke Ravenstahl and Mr. Bill Clinton and Mr. Rush Limbaugh ( no.... haha,,,friends in my dreams.

Why is Rich Lord Such a Meanie!!!

2008-12-09T13:40:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone from the Northside...

I have been noticing in the P-G, it seems like Rich Lord has forgotten to take his take his medication... those pills that prevent you from wanting to wear tin foil hats and thinking the CIA is reading your mind.

It seems that Mr. Lord sees something evil in local developers (and others) from wanting to support what they think is good government. Come on!!!! Giving money is freedom of speech!

Then there is Mr. Peduto-head calling the way things work "pay to play" as if that were a bad thing. Let's say I'm am getting my house painted and I get a bid from my friend who I have known forever and I really like and he gives me nice CHRISTmas presents and he says he'll do it for $1,000. Then there is the drunk guy (who lives down the street from me who is nasty and disgusting and is name Larry who I always see picking up that crack whore on North Ave) he says he'll do it for $100. Who would you want painting your house? Right, YOUR FRIEND!!!

So come on and forget about changing any of it. It has worked for Pittsburgh for 250 years so why change it now? Oh, I know why because there is an election coming up and they want to cut the Good Mayor Luke down by his knee caps down to their size.

So as my good readers remember when you hear all those crazy people talking their crazy talk, that they are just looney. And don't surprised when you start seeing Rich Lord standing down in front of the City County Building with strange signs like that guy who use to be down there all the time talking about Mayor Murphy being the some space alien controling the radio waves or whatever.

Happy Thanksgiving to all Fellow Mayor Lovers

2008-11-27T09:22:00.000-08:00

from Mr. Tinklebreath, Pittsburgh's best Graphic Artsist!!!

(by the way I am fine and healthy. I have been having problems with viruses that keeps getting on my computer that make naked men pop up on my computer plus My granddaughter Tiffany has been using the computer for her customer service job. I don't know much about it but she has to have the door locked with music playing and needs a web cam. I am so proud that she is working hard to send herself through beauty school. My computer time is limited but as you all know family comes first. Have a Happy Thanksgiving)

Happy Day of Birth Pittsburgh

2008-11-26T03:39:00.000-08:00

Hello from the European Pittsburgh of Paris

So yesterday was your day of Birth Pittsburgh? You must have had a large party with hats and cake! I hope the People of Vision planned a grand buffet and losened the shackles for the common people to wander down to the river where George Washington declared the city of Pittburgh!!! It must have been a wonderful day for you. The city must have stood still and sang the song of birthday as one. Did Mr. Big Ben lead the singing?

You must have been up all night partying in the rivers and throwing the paper snow with drinks and singing. Did you do the Hands Across The Pittsburgh? Where everyone grabbbed hands to form a human chain of gladness to show togetherness? We in France were so jellyous when you Americans did the Hands Across America? In France, we do not do such fun things.

With the birth of Cooper and the Birth Party of the city, it must be crazy in my adoptable city and then you have the Steelers going to the Super Bowl? My brain has become a puddle of excitement.

Who is the sexe girl on the 250 Birthday Website? Do all women of Pittsburgh look this way? I am a puddle ( not a poodle).

My Hart Flutters with Boundless Joy

2008-11-25T04:21:00.000-08:00

From the always exciting Paris...

I know my posting on the Blog of Note has been less, it is because my job haas become like a chicken (or a Turkey for your Americans) with its head chopped off ( Have you seen the video of the always full of sexiness Ms. Palin among the Turkey slaughter? Why be shocked when she is a woman who survived many cold winters in the warmth of slaughtered bellys of raindeer?)

Anyway, I have seen the future of my job. I have been the head techical wizard of the fax machines of a large French multinational organization. But I see that the Fax machine is not the future here in Franch. I have often heard that Pittsburgh is 20 years behind everything so you must be just being introduced to the marvels of the Fax Machine. I ask you to petition all your high tech Business People of Vision to invite me to move to my adoptable city of Pittsburgh to introduce you to wonders of the Fax!!!

If you have not heard, you place a piece of paper in one of these machines of wonder and press a button and with magic of technology you can send the piece of paper to another Fax Machine anywhere in the world and that piece of paper with come out!!! This has come in very handy to learn about new business opportunities or to hear about "time share properties" or new things that you may sell! I think the people of Pittsburgh will stand in awe of such wonders.

Please call your High Tech Council for me and petetion them to give a grant for me to relocate to your city and spread the wonder!

So you may wonder why my hart flutteres? I have just read that Mr. Tony Norman is my number one fan!!! By being my fan he has shown the largness of his brain and all you Pittsburghers should follow he lead.

In tribute, I fired up the Paint program on my computer (as a high technologist this is not my best skill I will admit) and made this tribute to our new long lasting friend ship. Link

You Must Be Dance on Roofs!!!

2008-11-09T19:55:00.000-08:00

Hallo Pittsburgh! I am glad and we still Celebration all over from Paris for you!

We are so happy in the same way that you are? I have seen the videos on the Pittburgh News Channels of the students out in the streets happy. No burning and chanting up satan. Just pure bliss. It is super to see so many people happy and joyous over the arrival of one person in a very historic moment.

You are so lucky to be there in the most adoptable city of Pittsburgh during this great time. The chosen one has come!!!!

Welcome the true baby mayor COOPER RAVENSTHAL!!!

As you may know I am a good catholic like the mayor. I believe that the baby becomes human at conception and while I believe that the baby was concieved in Paris, I therefore state that the baby is FRENCH. And he will be the first French Mayor of Pittsburgh!

Welcome to the planet earth, Mr. Cooper

Vote for Hillary Tomorrow

2008-11-03T15:06:00.000-08:00

From the Northside

(I am sorry I have been away from this blog. I have been busy making Little Frankie's Halloween costume again this year - he went as The Mayor Luke Ravenstahl again this year but I made the golf shirt all myself)

If you are like me and I think most of you are, you can't wait until tomorrow is done. I am just sick of it but you have to do your American duty tomorrow and vote.

If you are like me and I think most of you are, you have never voted for a black man before. Once he beat Hillary (who I was a big supporter) it became obvious that since I always vote Democrat, I was going to have to vote for a black man. Now don't get me wrong, I am not a racist. I have lots of people who live around me who are colored. So I am just pointing out a fact - he is black. And I have never voted for a black man before.

(As a side note, I want to say how made I am at that Martha guy for calling Western PA racist rednecks)

So I have been think that tomorrow when I pull the lever ( I GUESSS IT IS NOT A LEVER ANY MORE !!!) So when I push the tv screen, for Oboma, I am just going to think that I am voting for Hillary because that is really who my vote is for.

When I think about McCain I think I am as old as that guy. I have a hard enough time keeping regular let alone run a country!!! What is he thinking! What does he want to be, the first president to ride around in one of those scooters?

I guess what I am saying is go out and vote tomorrow.

(and Monk, I know you are crazy and since you are a Luke supporter can you tone it down so they don't think all Luke supporters are out of our minds?)

The Next Generation Arrives!

2008-10-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

Great news! The next generation of Ravenstahls has been born to take over the helm of Mayor for Life! The Post Gagette announces that Luke and his wife Erin have announced the birth of their son, Cooper Luke! Just think, when Cooper is old enough to be Mayor (22) Luke will only be about 45, in the prime of his life, and still leading our City to greatness. Then Cooper can take over the reins allowing Luke to retire in comfort to a golf course somewhere. No wonder Luke says this is the happiest day of his life. I think I am going to send the Ravenstahls an expensive baby present, like maybe a stereo system, or one of those fancy jogging strollers that all the Shadyside parents have. I am hoping that Luke is not too busy this winter with the new baby to make sure my streets are cleared quickly when it snows.

Rumors of Pat Ford

2008-10-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Center of the Universe, Paris...

Rumor is that the Traitor Mr. Ford and his wife will be traveling following the Metalica when their tour kicks off in the United States later in this month. This is a rumor I came across as I compile my grant application to make Pittsburgh house the Heavy Metal Music Hall of Fame. The couple will be traveling in an decorated RV and will be recieving checks from the city to pay for their journey. While I would never want to be them I do admire and fill with jelousy that they are LIVING THE DREAM LIFE.

Mark my words, I will make Pittsburgh the center of the Heavy Metal Universe!!!

Monk: I know who you are

2008-10-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

From the Northside

I just got back last night from a bus trip with me and my girlfriends up to the Seneca Niagra CaSINo and we had a wonderful time. I get back and I see that this guy Monk has pooped all over my blog. It is bad enough that my little mutt dog Myron Cope poops all over my kitchen floor, but do I need some one pooping all over my blog?

While I am the oldest blogger in Pittsburgh and you might think that I am as smart as a CMU Nerd, I'm not. I can turn on my computer and do what I need to do just like I am not a chef. I just know how to open my microwave's door and hit a few buttons. My granddaughter Tiffany is the computer person. She spends all her time on my computer doing her "job" which she says is customer service but it has something to do with a webcam and playing dance music. Anyway, it uses up my computer but I have to hand it to her, she is paying her way through beauty school and I don't have to give her money anymore for her tanning sessions.

I asked her if she could do her computer HooDoo stuff and tell me who this Monk guy is. It is Richard Mellon Sciafe!!!!! You know the guy who runs the Tribune Review. She did some Google thing and showed me a map and this Monk guy is in Shadyside and drinks a lot and types stuff up on the computer. So Mr. Monk, sorry to blow your cover, but why don't you go back to your billion dollar house and your poopy paper and cry into your little baby blanket? Or did your ex-wife take your little baby blanket?

(There you go, DeeGazette. That should put a sock in his pie hole!)

Luke is good on finances

2008-10-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe I am sitting at home alone on Saturday night and I had too many glasses of shardonnay for dinner. But I am reading about strawberry's post about the financial crsis and I think: right on! Yeah, so we keep hearing about how Pittsburgh is all bankrupt and stuff. But, nobody asked city council to give the city any old six bazillion dollar bailout. It's like Washington decided that Wall Street needed all kinds of money to bail themselves out and here we are in Pittsburgh bailing ourselves out and nobody else is helping us. Where is Mr. Bill Potatohead when we need city council to bail us out? Where is that republican guy who tried to become mayor? What was his name? Mark Desantis or something like that. Where is he now with his republican millions of dollars? He's probably out campaigning for the Lehman Brothers to become presidents, or maybe at least for McCain and Palin to win the election. I just think he could help us now with his millions of dollars, but where is he? That's right! Nowhere to be seen and only Luke is still around to help us get out of this wall street mess here in Pittsburgh. This is a another reason why Luke is Mayor for Life like Strawberry always says.

And, speaking of the republicans and this financial crisis. You can tell that Luke did not get us into the crisis because he is a democrat. But you can be sure that it is all the republicans' fault and you know it because they are not even around to help fix it. But what if McCain and Palin get elected. Boy are we in trouble. She is SO stupid. I have knicknamed her Sarah PAIN (you just have to drop the L). There is Pain in Palin. She is just dumb, dumb, dumb. And a total lying b*tch. Her most recent lie is that Obama is friends with terrorists. Anyway, I hope Luke does not support McCain/Palin because if he does that would be stupid. If they get elected we will wlays be bankrupt both financially, morally, and intellecktually.

Financial Crises? I say "Shut up"

2008-10-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

From the Northside...

I have to make quick because I have a hair dresser appointment.

I want to point out that some people say the city owes about a billion dollars, but we are doing ok. The Mayor Luke Ravenstahl is keeping it all together because of his supiority in his leadership. I don't see him all paniced. He walks around cool as a cucumber and our garbage keeps getting picked up and people keep awnsering 311 (after you've been on hold forever!!! I wish there was a number I could call to complain evertime I am put on hold for too long. Likae a number like 311311!!! Yeah, how about set up a 311 complaint line?)

Anyway, look at all those jagoffs in Washington and Wall street who are yapping, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." They should take a lesson from The Mayor and remain calm and cut ribbons or dig a hole when a new building is going in.

Everybody is going all kookoo about this financial mess, but what they really should do is look at Pittsburgh and see how we have been handling it. We're not asking for no bailouts. I have yet to see anybody at the check cashing place saying I need my money now because Pittsburgh is failing. So everybody just calm down.

I would like to see Katie Curic come here and ask regular Pittsburghers how we have been living calmly with a billion dollar debt hanging over OUR heads. Maybe the nation could learn a lesson from us. Maybe that guy Phil Grahmcracker was right! The nation is just full of whinners.

I'm going to get my hair done!!!!!!

I am live Blogging the Steelers

2008-09-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hello from my Black and Gold Paris

I have discovered a Launderette that is showcaseing the Steelers and the other team. I am in glee. It has the WIFI so I shall try to live blog this battle. It is early in the morning so as I wash my clothes I hope I do not wake up the Turkish family that lives in the back room.

That poor man is hurt! May he believe in God.

I missed a lot and the Steeler kicked the ball through the 2 yellow poles and 3 points are in our possession!

The Ravens have placed the ball through the 2 yellow poles and they have now equaled the Steelers with 3 points.

Big Ben is a Frankenstien. He gets tossed to the ground, but he needs to get up angry like the Hulk.

The Ravens are good at kicking the ball. Ben must tie his shoes tighter.

The Ravens have a fat man a very fat man,trying to cross the goal line, I have never seen a fat man running so fast.
Then Ravens get a touch down right before half time which makes it upsetting for drinking more beer. I wish for The Steelers to get to the locker room. They make it there but no points for that.

The Turkish family's dog took a shit on the Launderette floor. I missed the touchdowns. So I do not know what happened in the 3rd quarter.

How is the score the same? It is 20-20 with 1:15 left. Why is it so slow? Why do they not rip off heads and arms with blood and bones and get the ball in the goal?

Do they have earthworms in the dirt?

Overtime.

A ball through the 2 yellow poles and we have an won! Everyone is on the field. VICTORY!

Good Morning Paris,
Good Night Pittsburgh
Your Friend
Pierre

Football Season Starts

2008-09-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

Luke Should Feel Like A Cock

2008-09-05T03:34:00.000-07:00

Hello From the Always Cultured Paris!!!

Mr. Luke Ravenstahl should have his chest out and should be strutting around the barnyard like the cock that he his. The other roosters in the barnyard should cow to him and the chickens should flock to him. Why do I give such high praise?

Here in France, we often look down our noses at the American Politic (and everything else). I have been following your President race for the laughs. And I have been laughing. You have a Black Man running against an Old Man. Then the Old Man is running with a WoMan. And then the WoMan does not believe in telling people where babies come from and then her daughter now has a baby coming. (not to mention that she believes that the dinosaurs were on Noah's Arc?) The only thing to make it funnier is if the baby's father was the Old Man or The Black Man. HA HA.

Anyway, why I mention this is that Sarah Palin the WoMan is recieving so much praise for being the Mayor of a small town of 9,000 peoples. Peoples say this gives her the experience to drive your country should Mr McCain pass away. Using my large math skills and with Pittsburgh having 300,000 peoples, that makes Mr. Mayor Luke Ravenstahl 33.333 times more qualified to run the whole United States than Mrs. Palin. And since they are saying because of her "executive experience" Mrs. Palin who is very good looking by the way, is more qualified than Mr. Obama, I would say Mr. Luke is 300,000 times more qualified than him or Mr. McCain because niether of them have the executive experience to run the United States.

So now do you see why I think Mr. Ravenstahl should be strutting around like a cock with his chest out and his tail feathers flying?

Bravo again, Mr. Ravenstahl. And may I too give you a kiss. A French Kiss at that!

A Kiss for Luke

2008-09-01T19:54:00.000-07:00

This photo of Luke is from a Post-Gagette online article about the Pat Ford affair. Look how sad Luke looks! I know he is really upset about breaking up with Pat. You can just tell from this photo. Poor Luke. I think we should all send him a big collective kiss to make him feel better. And, also, because he just looks so darned kissable. Has he ever looked sexier!?

I think if we all send Luke a big kiss we can help he get over his lover's quarrel with Pat just that much quicker. It is a terrible thing when two lovers break up, but sometimes it has to happen. Especially when an innocent young man like Luke falls in love with a deceitful backstabbing older man like Pat Ford. It's like that movie Brokeback Mountain. I just hope their wives will be okay and get over this whole sad affair quickly. Plus Luke has to get on being our Mayor who we love even if he did have a failed affiar with Pat Ford, it was not Luke's fault.

So, I ask that this be "send Luke a Kiss week." Please everyone do you part to cheer up our Mayor. Send him a kiss today.

Pat Ford Should Hari Kari

2008-08-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

Hello From Paris!

I have been following the sky rocket like trip of Pat Ford career. For a time I thought of hitching my wagon upon his star now I am glad my wagon never got hitched to it. His star now dims and will soon be like a cigarette butt on the sidewalk waiting for a heel to rub it out. That is Life or Ce La Vie.

Now I puzzle at his claim of being a good solder. A good solder dos not give up until The Death! A good solder does not have the opportunity to talk to reporters or write letters or have a attorney. It is just the solder and his sword. When the enemy closes in, you must run full stream a head until death.

Mr. Ford has failed on many advanced levels. He has been taken prisoner, he has not fightened to the Death, and now when the time is tough on him, he is turning his back on his King to preserve himself. He is the ultimate failure.

It is amazing how the Winds of Fates blow. Just a year ago I had Dreams like Mr. Ford of smoking cigars and drinking Scotch from a window in a tall building and overlooking our domains. Now look at us. My dream has not come true like an airplane still sitting on the run way. Mr. Fords airplane took off and I watched it soar then like a space shuttle it has ended as a flame ball and wreakage.

The only step left for Mr. Ford is to commit to the Hari Kari to restore his honor. Mr. Ford must go to a public place and do the Hari Kari and maybe his wife can post it on a blog to bring honor back to their family.

But my guess is that Mr. Ford and his Family will be traveling down to Florida again planning out trailer parks where he will be standing on top of his trailer looking out at his domain with a Swisher Sweets Cigar and a drink of Sourthern Comfort.

Good Luck Mr. Ford, remember statue of limitations allows for Hari Kari at anytime to restor honor.

Backstabbing Sleazeball Ford

2008-08-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

As regular visitors to this site know, I support everything our handsome boy genius mayor Luke Ravenstahl does. He is doing a great job as mayor and getting better every day. Sure, he has made a few stumbles along the way. But I think the ability to learn on the job is important for our Mayor. Yeah, I used to even support Luke's decision to hire Pat Ford as Director of the Urban Redevelopment Authority. Because, I knew that if Luke liked Pat, then Pat must be a good person. SO, even when Pat Ford and his wife Alecia Slirky were accused of taking gifts from that Lamar guy, I knew it must not be true. I think I even wrote about it. At least I knew Luke was not responsible. And I thought Luke would never hire someone who would knowingly do bad and wrongful things such as Pat and Alecia were accused of doing. I figured that if Luke hired someone then he must be a good, upstanding public servant, honest and sincere.

Boy was I ever wrong about that!!

I turns out that, in his petulant and unprofessional resignation letter, Pat Ford, sounding like a spoiled little baby with too much poop in his diaper, has essentially accused Luke of incompetence and corruption. Can you believe it? Of course, I don't like anybody who accuses Luke of these things. We are supposed to trust our leaders and not make false accusations. I think this is even one of the ten commandmants, possibly right after "thou shall not accept false gifts." Anyway, it is despicable of Ford to say all these mean things after all that Luke has done for Pat and Alecia. Mr. Ford seems to have forgotten that HE is the one who is corrupt, not Luke! Pat Ford wants to clear his good name or some nonsense like that. Well, he can forget about that. His unbelievable letter pretty much cements his corrupt reputation to his name forever. Pat, you ruined your own reputation, you dug your own grave, you sleazy backstabbing piece of sh*t. Nobody else did it for you, least of all our good Mayor Luke.

Yep, Pat, you are a total backstabbing turncoat. Nobody likes a crybaby. Least of all one that tries to destroy the reputation of the Mayor who has done nothing but good. Luke was good enough to give you a chance and you blew it. I admire Luke for trying to let you have an important job even though he might have known you were a bad man. Perhaps Luke was just trying to give a fair chance to everyone, even someone who might take bribes and inappropriate gifts in exchange for favors and plum no bid contracts. This is very admirable of Luke to give someone who would do that a chance--it is like trying to rehabilitate a criminal. But, how sad for you Pat! If you weren't so hateful, I would almost pity you. But, actually you are beneath pity. Does anybody pity the scum on a pond? I don't think so. Actually, come to think of it, comparing you to pond scum isn't even fair to the poor pond scum. But, I digress.

I just want to say a final good riddance to you Pat Ford. Now our beloved Mayor Luke can get on with doing what he is best at doing: running our great city, looking handsome and sexy, and making sure he has great people working for him. And the URA can get back to doing what it does best. Whatever that is. But I don't need to worry myself about it because I know Luke is on the job. And now that you are gone Pat, Luke will get someone good to permanently run the URA, hopefully that wonderful Rob Stephany, who I hear has been doing such a great job as acting director. And talk about handsome!! Rob is SO well suited to the job because he is SO good looking! Be still my beating heart.

BREAKING NEWS: Bodack has A New Job

2008-08-21T17:32:00.000-07:00

From the Northside

I just sat down with my first IC Light of the day when I noticed on line that Mr. Len Bodack just got a job at the Sewer Authoritity. Bravo for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since Pretty Boy Dowd stole his seat on Council I have been wondering how Lenny Jr was going to be feeding his family. I hoped something would come through for him before the Unemployment checks stopped. At least now he's landed on his feet.

I was soooo mad when he had to leave Council. I always thought that if there were more like him on council this whole city would run much better. I'm sure The Mayor would agree with me.

Now everytime I flush my toilet and everything goes away, I'm going to be thanking Mr. Lenny Bodack Jr.

I NEVER Thought I'd Say This...!!!!!

2008-08-21T07:24:00.000-07:00

From The Northside

... bravo Sophie Masloff!!!!!!!!

I read in the P-G yesterday, that she is boycotting the Democratic Convention. I know she has to be as upset about Hillary as I am. I'm glad to see that she is doing something about it!

Like Sophie, I am an old lady who doesn't have to much longer on this planet before I go off to Heaven ( Sophie is Jewish so I don't know where she'll go). One of my dreams since I was a little girl was to see a woman be president. Hillary was our only chance. I know Sophie is thinking she is never going to see it happen. I'm glad to see she is kicking her bathroom slipper right in the Obamacrats crotchs.

I never cared for Sophie. When she was running for City Council years ago, I knew she was rising above her place. I thought there was no way I wanted my CouncilMAN to be seated at the same table as a BRA-BURNER!!! Then she ran for mayor. I flipped my lid. I thought "What does her husband think?" Then I thought "Her husband can't be much of a man to let her run around wild like that." All my fears of public bra-burnings came to pass.

The first woman I voted for was Darlene Harris for school board. I tricked myself by saying if I squinted at her, she looked like a man there for I didn't feel wierd.

Hillary was the first woman I really wanted to win and there she was losing to a black guy. I'm so glad to see that Sophie is standing up against this outragousness.

Sophie you are my new hero.

Happy Vacation Month Pittsburgh May Your Face Have Been Rocked Off!

2008-08-18T03:29:00.000-07:00

Hello from Relaxation Paris

As you must know, August is the month of Holiday for the civilized world. I hope you in Pittsburgh are enjoying your month of relaxation like I have been enjoying my 5 long weeks of Holiday without working.

I noticed in your paper this morning that you were visited by The Judas Priest. Lucky you.

The city must have been ghost like with everyone in Pittsburgh tooking their kids to see The Monsters of Metal show. You had Le Moterhead and Mr. Dio! You must have been in Heaven (or Hell if that were you Metal Preference?)

It is said that there were "Two huge winged gargoyles squatted in trees on either side of the band, on the lookout for negative vibes" that later "spit out two huge torrents of dry ice vapor." I started think What if Pittsburgh had such creatures to greet visitors? What if Pittsburgh became the Heavy Metal Family Friendly Travel Destination?

Most people that use to bang their heads now have children and would enjoy visiting a "City that Would Rock Your Face OFF"! Cleveland (who is the great rival of Pittsburgh) has the Rock and Roll Museum! Why not have Pittsburgh have the Heavy Metal Museum for Pittsburgh has a large history of Metal? You even have a Hot Metal Bridge which makes me wonder how people cross it without burning up into cinders which they touch it?

Pittsburgh you are Metal. Embace it!

I would gladly come to Pittsburgh as a consultant to help get the Heavy Metal Museum flying off the ground like an eagle soaring!

What An Awful Day Yesterday!!!

2008-08-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

So yesterday morning my whole day went to poop. I was reading the paper and my son Frankie Jr. sat down and started reading the paper with me. Out of nowhere he started crying and he ran off and locked himself in his bedroom. I asked him what was wrong and he said that Donzis was gone! He had seen the picture above and had just read this story.

Frankie had spent most of his 20s at Donzis. That is where he met his girlfriend and mother of my grandson Little Frankie. If you don't know Donzis was where all the real cool kids use to hang out. It was a nice little club for the youngster to hang out years ago. They could go there and hang out with their friends.

When Frankie Jr. would go there it was the only time he would ever get really dressed up. If I heard the shower running I knew he would soon be coming down the steps saying he was going "out to the market". That is what he use to call it. He never went shopping except to the auto parts store. For some reason him and his friends called it "the meat market".

Frankie Jr was so upset yesterday. He drives a tow truck for a living and he didn't have it in him to even turn on his police scanner yesterday so I sat there at the kitchen table listening to the police scanner for most of the day. Even when there was a crash near the house that would be really easy cash for him, he ignored it. He just stayed in his room crying saying all his greatest memories were leaving pittburgh.

Later in the day, when I read that Pat Ford wasn't getting in any trouble with the State Ethnic board, Frankie Jr. could care less. I went to treat myself to a nice cold IC Light to celebrate and then I realized that Frankie Jr had locked himself in his bedrrom with my WHOLE CASE OF BEER!

So I had to drink warm beer from my pantry. Then I was listening to the Pirates game and I could barely hear it over the loud rock and roll music from Frankies room. I kept turning up my radio louder and he would turn his up louder. At one point I looked up at the back door of my kitchen and there was a police officer on my back porch. He told me that they were getting calls about all the noise coming from my house. I was so embarassed. I told him I'd take care of it.

I kept trying to get Frankie to turn down his music and he wouldnt so I didn't want to be there when the police came back so I went down to the neighborhood bar to play the machines. Nothing was going right and I kept lossing. I spent all my money for the rest of the months groceries! Frankie Jr is going to owe me for all the problems he caused and it all comes down to Donzis getting floated down the river!

So can you see why my day was so bad!!!! It should have been such a great day because Pat Ford was hopefully getting his job back but Frankie Jr. ruined it. He can be such a jaggoff!!!

The Alcoholic Tax is Brilliant Mindmind!

2008-08-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

Hello from the beautiful Paris where everyone is taking the whole month of August off for Holiday!

I must give the credit to His Honor Dan Onorator. He has shown a glimmer of political smartness that even I might admire. Maybe he has been reading The Art of War which I sent all the great leaders of Vision in your region a while ago.

With his drink tax, he is dividing and soon will be conquoring all. He is pitting the old against the alcoholics. The bus riding poor against the alcoholics and the old. The resturant owners against the hippy bus riders and the old. And then you have the Transit Union which is both old and alcoholic but not poor and hippy wanting to destory all and everyone wanting to destroy them. The beauty of the plan of Mr. Onorator is that as the fight grows he will be propeled to greater poltical highs while these members of the Untouchable Classes pummel each other!!! BRAVO, Mr. Onorator.

My only suggestion is that he should have taxed all drinks except wine. That would have been civilized and might have given the savages who park on barstools and drink the beer and the whiskey together a rope to grasp out of their miserable lives to a more cultured realm. Rethink that aspect. Tax all drinks except wine. And good wine at that. Maybe tax all wine except French wine. Other than that, Good Job. Maybe as Governor, I could visit you in your palace, Mr. Onorator?

Pittsburgh: I crawl back to you

2008-08-02T07:16:00.000-07:00

Hello from Paris with My head hanging low asking for pardon

My dear adoptable city of Pittsburgh, I have strayed. I have done what many a young person has done before me. I believed there was better love beyond the valleys that hug the city of Pittsburgh. I now crawl back asking for forgiveness.

I thought I had found a better city in the Americas to adopt as my online living place. Like many Young People before me, through heavy thinking I choosed Peoria. I thought the city had more potential for me to win my dream of transport to America and rocket to the stratosphere where the People of Vision inhabit and float around and create better visions for the little people who live and toil in the city. My offerings of love through the internet (http://hellopeoria.blogspot.com/) were accepted as if I wished to make love to a fish... a dead fish. I could have done it but I would feel foul and smell.

So Pittsburgh I come crawling back like a husband who has cheated. Now you should accept me MORE because I have found that you Pittsburgh are the TRUE ONE. This is why all men should be allowed to go out and test the other horses in the field so they can come back to their woman (or man in Gay4Luke's situation) with new respect. American women's insecurity holds them back from allowing their man to roam with the winds. America join the rest of the civilized world and be self assured. It is not cheating. It is a strategy for winning for the man but mostly for the woman. This is also why you Pittsburgh should never fear the loosing of young people for they may come back learning the errors of their ways.

Plus, with the return of the Steelers to their training for the upcoming American Football battle season has hastened my return. VIVA STEELERS!

So please forgive me for my transgressions. Let's make love again with even more passion (The Passion IS the name of your female American football team for a reason!).

Something about Obama

2008-07-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Northside

Ever since Hillary was forced out of the president race, I've been thinking alot about Obama. There is something about him that bothers me. I haven't been able to put my finger on it.

With Hillary, I finally got over the fact that she was a woman and possibly a lesbeing so I was all ready to vote for her. Now with Obama, he is a man and he's married so it should be easy to vote for him because I usually my whole life have voted for men (except for Darlene Harris!). So my problem with Obama can't be that.

Whenever Obama comes on the tv, first thoughts is "Is my backdoor locked?" So maybe it has something to do with his stances on Homeland security? Would I feel safer with him in the White House? Hmmm, I don't know but my gut tells me that we wouldn't. Then I wonder if my front door is locked too.

When I look at Obama, I think there is something about him that just isn't right that he sould be President. When I look at McCain, there is something familar. It might be that he is old like me. That might be it.

When I was young and I voted for JFK, I thought to my self, "could I marry this guy?" The answer was yes. I've used that ever since. First the guy must be a democrat and then I think can I marry this guy. Bill Clinton was easy but the democrats have surely put up some guys in the past that were hard for me to accept like Mondale or Dukakus, but there is something about Obama that I just can't get my mind around. I keep thinking my Dad would spin around in the grave if I were to marry him. I must be getting old because i can't see marrying someone who is about half as old as me. That has to be it.

The biggest reason why I don't feel right about voting for Obama is because The Mayor and Dan the Tax Man (who might I remind that this blog was the first to endorse him for Governor!!!!) and Governor Rendel haven't told me to vote for him. When they all were behind Hillary I was more than willing to vote for someone who was a woman and possibly a lesbeing, but until they come out and tell me to vote for some as young as Obama, I just don't know if I can do it.

WHAT I SAID TO MARY BETH BUCHANAN

2008-07-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Northside!!!!!!!

I went Downtown yesterday to pay a bill. I was walking by Sammy's Corned Beef and I saw in the window Mary Beth Buchanan. She was eating a big corned beef sandwich that was dripping down her chin and all down here shirt sleaves. It might of been a Ruban. It looked just like her. She was dressed all fancy and her chin looked like a glazed donut with buttery corned beef juice. She was dressed sensible and was wearing gym shoes under her skirt. She looked just like I had seen on TV.

I didn't want to go in and say it to her face so I told her what I thought through the window. I waved my hand to get her attention and said " Leave Mr. Ford allone! He's done nothing." I went off and told her other stuff. She shrugging her shoulders acting like she didn't know what I was talking about but she knew. She was shaking her head and waving her hands. "Quit wasting our money and start worrying about important stuff like fighting crime and fixing potholes"!!!

I gave her a piece of my mind through the window. After I walked away I went back again to say thanks for nothing in going after Cereal Wecyht and wasting all that time and money. I felt so much better. I know it was her and I did my part and spoke my mind. I was so proud of myself I treated myself to a little candy bar and an ice cold IC Light at Market Square just like my dad use to give me.

Keep Cool. Remember the senior centers are open. and keep hydrated. And quit picking on The Mayor and his friends.

Time To Follow The StrawberryWay!!!!

2008-07-11T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Northside

Bloggers are dropping like flys here is Pittsburgh, but I am fine I put a new air conditioner in the back and room so now I can blog all summer. I have a Igloo cooler full of iron city that I have set in an old kitty litter pan so it don't drip all over the floor. I'm in heavan! Big Frankie (my huABAND)calls it my cave.

Tonight is fireworks at the Pirates. Go Bucco's. Go Luke. Go Pittsbburgh!!!!

Luke, Do Something!

2008-07-09T04:56:00.000-07:00

I am hereby publicly asking Mayor Luke to do something about this whole Pittsburgh Steelers buyout thing. I know he is best friends with the Rooneys and Mario and Ben Rothlisberger so he must make sure that the Steelers do not get sold to this Drunkenhammer guy. What is going on here? This is an upset to the natural order of things. It is Pittsburgh and the Rooneys own the Steelers. End of story. Luke, you must do something. Some things should never change and LUke was elected to protect the status quote so I am asking that he make sure the Steelers do not get sold to a Drunk. I don't want to have to go to my councilman, Mr Potatohead, because it will take council way to long to do something that Luke can do with one phone call. All those stupid Rooney brothers who want to sell should sell to their big brother Dan, even if the offer is not good enough. This is very important to the future of Pittsburgh for the Rooneys to own the Steelers, so of course it is Mayor Luke's job to make sure the Rooneys are still in their rightful place as Steelers owners forever.

YOU MUST LOVE MR> BARDON

2008-07-08T17:46:00.000-07:00

from the Northside...

I find it surprising Gay4Luke that you don't like Mr. Bardon eventhough he is one of yours. Thinking of that I think I have figured out why you don't really like him. It is because we know that he really wants to have the caSINo being a whorehouse.

This website broke the TRUE story along time ago about what the real plans are. . . to have a giant whorehouse right there on the river. It all makes sense. If they are willing to have gambling where will it stop? We might even have Rick Santorum's dream of men having s*x with dogs!!!

But you know what? I don't care. I want my property tax relief.

Gay4Luke, if you want to hate Mr. Bardon, go ahead. The only people left in Pittsburgh are only going to be you and us old people whose scooters aren't allowed to go through the Fort Pitt Tunnel to get us out of town.

Leave Mr. Bardin Alone!!!!

2008-07-06T11:08:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Northside!!!

I am back but I have been enjoying my summer. Ever since Hillary lost I've been very mad at everyone. You would think with all the power that Mr. Randel has he could have tipped the whole country toward Hillary. Then you put Dan Onorato's power and Luke's power in the mixed they should have gone out there and broken knee caps all around the country. But no. And look at where we are now?

Anyway, my main point in this post is that we need to see the caSINo build on the Northside at all costs. Some of the things that I wanted before I died are a woman in the white house and to be able to walk down a caSINo and play slots.

Now that a woman will not be in the white house (unless Obama starts wearing a dress and has his dinkle removed) I at least want to be able to go to a caSINo in my own neighborhood! At the pace its going, I'm either going to have to ride a scooter to the place or someone will have to wheel me on my deathbed. Come on Pittsburgh. Aren't we all sick of sitting at a stupid poker machine in a corner bar? Don't you want some real class and do your gambling in a place with carpet and the beautiful sound of money tinkling out of the slot machines?

All these poop heads are throwing slugs in our slots!!! Why can't the construction workers just get a bunch of free credits on the slot machines and get done with the building?!!?!?!?!

Forget about building a real building. Just put up a big tent like they had down at the Meadows before their caSINo was done. Who cares what it looks like on the outside! Everyone is going to be inside once the thing opens.

The REAL Pittsburghers like me are smart while these egghead poopheads are trying to ruin us. Why couldn't all these dumb-dumbs go travel with their friend Peduto and start their own country Pedutostan somewhere.

For all you people who care... Pierre sent me the following email...

Dear Friend Strawberry Way,

I regret to inform you that I have taken the path that most young gifted smart people from Pittsburgh have traveled before. Pittsburgh has broken my heart for my Love was never returned with the greatness equal to what I gave. I have used the Internet to find a new love, It is named Peoria in the grand state of Lincoln of Illinois. From this day forth, I shall be known as Pierre4Peoria. I hope that my grand plan of getting showered with love and money will come forth from my new Internet home town. I hope they will fly me to their town and I shall look down from my airplane seat as we fly over Pittsburgh and a tear may come to my eye or not.

Drained love,
Pierre4Peoria

There you go, Pittsburgh, driving away some of your biggest supporters. Now you are stuck with only me (and Gay4Luke).

I Know you wish I was dead.

2008-06-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not writing for so long but my computer broke down. I am soooo mad. I hate computers. I hate them soooooo much.

Thanks too everybody who asked if I was ok. No the IC Light and cigarettes haven't stopped me.

Mayoral Bodyguards

2008-05-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

I just read in the Post Gagette today that there is another controversy surrounding Mayor Luke. I don't have time to find the URL and stick it in here, so you will just have to go to the Post Gagette site yourself and search for the article. Which article is incidentally is by our friend Rich Lord (rhymes with "bored," which I usually am by his articles). Sorry for not providing the link here, but you can look it up, I know you can.

Anyway, it seems that the Mayor went to Detroit for the first two Stanley cup finals games between our beloved Penguins and the Detroit Redwimps. And he took a bodyguard from Pittsburgh with him. So this is controversial?! Duh. The Mayor was going to a hostile City to watch his Penguins play hockey--which he should, as Mayor, do. This is his job. Of course he needs a bodyguard! A handsome guy like Luke is going to be besieged by his many female and gay male admirers in a foreign city like Detroit and he needs to be protected from them. Otherwise they might rip off his suit in public, and that would not look very good, because he does look SO good in his suit!! This is to say nothing of the fact that there are probably lots of Detroit Redwimps fans who would not like Mayor Luke being in their city and they might try to hurt him by calling him names like "Opie" and stuff like that. So he needs a bodyguard. I for one am glad my tax dollars are paying to protect dear Mayor Luke. It is really important.

Now, of course, Luke is a big strong strapping young man, and I am sure he can protect himself. Even so, Public Safety Director Michael Huss decided to send a bodyguard. Well, that proves there must be a serious threat to the Mayor's safety. Because, he obviously needs extra protection even though he is so strong. This is a bit like when George Bush raises the National Security alert level to code orange--you know he is doing it because there is a real danger. You know this even though he is an incompetent fool of a president. But he would never deceive the American people. It is the same thing with Mayor Luke. He needs bodyguards in a foreign place even though he is big and storng because there is a real danger!

By the way, I wonder how one gets the job to guard Luke's body? I know some body builder guys down at my gym, Club Pittsburgh, who would be thrilled to guard Luke.

Should I Keep Blogging????

2008-04-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

I'm just sitting here having an IC LIGHT and Thinking I'm the oldest blogger in Pittsburgh and nobody cares. Jaggoffs.

Joy For Little Mayor Child Arriving

2008-04-16T03:46:00.000-07:00

Hello from Paris!

The News is GOOD!!! The Mayor and his Wife are with child. A prince or princess is on the way to carry on the Ravenstahl Dynesty!

I must remind everyone that they are 3 months on their journey and where were they 3 months ago? That is correct - here in the city of Love Paris. Some of the greatest people of the world got their start on the beds of this great city.

I personally congratulate you Mr. Ravenstahl, you have proved you are a man!

I Hate Blogger, Bloggers and Other Things!!!

2008-04-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

From the Northside - rember vote HILLARY or you hate Pittsburgh

I had written a hole big thing about how you meanies have just ruined tons of peoples lives just to prove that you can blog in your pajamas, but Blogger erased it all. It basicly went like this....

Poor Alica and Pat, I hope they are spending the weekend at The Mountaineer. That would be a great way to get over an awful week. They could play some slots and the hole bad awful world will disappear. Watch some shows and have some drinks and everything will be better.

As for you bloggers, shame on you for ruining their lives. Don;t you understand, now all those business people aren't going to want to do business around here because they will be scared about doing anything that will ruin their lives. Soon Pittsburgh will be a ghost town and we will all crawling around looking for crumbs for food among the ruins of what was once beautiful Pittsburgh, but you guys will still be blogging in your hand cranked computers. I bet you all watched Planet of the Apes and rooted for the Apes!!! Damn you all.

Here is something from Mr. Tinklebreath's calendar that I couldn't get made...

Not Responsible

2008-04-14T06:37:00.001-07:00

I just want to say that Mayor Luke is NOT responsible for this whole Lamar billboard debacle. I do not know why some mean people out there think that he is. They are just stupid. Here is how it is. First, Alecia Sleazekirk is (was) just the mayor's spokeswoman, she was not the Mayor. So, she can take gifts from anybody she likes. And if she takes bribes it is not the same as if the Mayor takes them. He only hired her, he is not her. Her husband, Pat Ford, is a different story. The Mayor hired Pat to consolidate all of the city development operations under one roof. Of course, the Mayor thought that the previous nice honest man who had this job (Jerry Dettore) was not good enough so the Mayor had to bring in his own buddy, Pat Ford. So what? This is what Mayors do. They bring in people who support their interests and goals to help run the city. The Mayor cannot help it if he brings in people who later turn out to be bribe-taking sleazeballs who grant favors to their buddies in exchange for sensurround systems. What is a sensurround system anyway? Is it something Alecia and Ford used for Kinky sex while watching fantasy videos of their friend Mr. Lamar? But, I digress. Actually, I should not say that Alecia and Pat took bribes. We do not know if they really took bribes. We only know that they took gifts from Mr. Lamar, the king of billboards. Then, they let Mr. Lamar put his butt ugly flashing electronic billboards up all over town, especially on the new bus station at the end of Grant Street. And they did not ask ANYBODY else like Mr. Bill Peduto if it was okay. People are now mad because Mr. Lamar's billboards are a gross eyesore. Shoot, even Ruth Ann Dailey is mad, so you know it must be bad. Well, come to think of it Ruth Ann, being an arch conservative, is mad about everything all the time. Except for Jesus who she loves. Just the other day, I saw Ruth Ann on WQED ranting on about how Pittsburgh should have a giant ferris wheel but does not. A FERRIS WHEEL? Just because George Ferris used to live here? What are we, London? How stupid is THAT? As if it would bring more young people back! Stupid stupid stupid. Can't we think of something original? Here I go digressing AGAIN! I used to think Pat Ford was really handsome and sexy but now I think he is really ugly because he loves billboards. I hate billboards! Anyway, just because our good Mayor Luke hired Pat and Alecia does not mean that Luke is responsible for EVERYTHING they do. So, I am really pissed off at the mean bloggers who are trying to say that the Mayor is responsible for Pat Ford's cronyism and favoritism towards that Mr. Lamar guy. Luke is NOT responsible, He did not even know about it, and he cannot help it if people in his administration take gifts and bribes and grant no bid contracts. It is not as if Luke was married to Alecia and Pat and could keep track of them 24/7. They only work (worked) for him. They are married to each other. Luke has more important Mayoral duties. Plus, he has his own wife to keep track of. So just shut up.

You People Are So Mean!

2008-04-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

My Endorsement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

From the Northside!!!!!!

After weeks of waiting for the candidates for president to get in touch with me, nobody got in touch with me. Then I find out the demographic up for grabs in Pennsylvania is WHITE MEN! Here I am a old white woman super voter, and I keep getting no respect!

Anyway, So I am endorsing Hillary Clinton!

I never thought I'd be telling people to vote for a lesbeing but Mr Ravenstahl and Mr. Rendell have endorsed her too so I feel like I am in good company. Since everyone importent has endorsed her, if that other guy wins - Obama - we are going to be in big trouble because he will punish us in Western PA and try to make us part of West Virgina. So for our own future, we have to vote for Hillary.

So my recommendation, if you hate Pittsburgh, don't vote for Hillary. If you love Pittsburgh, vote for Hillary.

[I still want to point out, that this Blog was the first to endorse Dan Onorato for Governor. He has never thanked me. Dan, you can email me at strawberryway@gmail.com]

I'm Back

2008-04-02T00:35:00.000-07:00

From the Northside!!!!!!!!

I just got back from visiting my sister down in Florida for about 3 weeks. It was awful. I couldn't find anyone in her retirement community that had the Internet. At least here in Pittsburgh we have the Internet.

I have so much stuff to catch up on so I am going to be busy.

One thing I can say is that I am already tired of all the local blogs ragging on Mr. Ravenstahl for what he did on St. Patrick's day. So what if he went through the parade twice. I'm sure it was fun and he is The Mayor so I would say he could do it as many times as he wanted. I wish he would have done the parade 30 times!!!

Also, so what if he went to some bar on the Northside? He already said that he is a 20 something and he is going to do what 20 somethings do and I don't know any 20 something that doesn't get blind drunk on St Patrick's day. Why should The Mayor be any different? I personally think it would be refreshing if The Mayor held some office hours at some bar somewhere. I think that would get the young people more involved.

Also, so what if he asked a couple police officers to wear their baseball caps and shave or whatever. He is The Mayor. Those police are like those guards for Queen Elizabeth who wear those q-tip hats. They should just shut up and stand still and show a little disipline. If I were The Mayor, I would make those officers wear poodle costumes. Maybe that would teach them to shut up their hate holes.

Speaking of Hate Holes, when are local bloggers going to focus on importent things like litter or something. All they do is hate hate hate The Mayor. If it were not for the Internet, the only person who would hear them is their pet gerbals that they sometimes do what Richard Gere did to gerbals. Yuk.

I Have Tried to Love The Pirates

2008-04-01T03:36:00.000-07:00

From the Spring time of Paris!!!

I am excited for you in Pittsburgh that the baseball has begun. The Pittburgh Pirates are on a winning streak - they have won their first and only game. I hope everyone is enjoying the warm rush of being a winner.

I have tried to embrace American Baseball but it can not fill the hole that has grown with my love of the Steelers Nation. As I try to understand baseball, I often have the following Jean-Paul Satre quotes run through my head...

"All human actions are equivalent and all are on principle doomed to failure. "

"Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance."

"Life begins on the other side of despair. "

"Life has no meaning the moment you lose the illusion of being eternal. "

May be was a Pirate's fan?

You Must Embrace The Sign With Passion

2008-03-27T03:47:00.000-07:00

Hello from the blooming Paris!

I must remind you that I am an outsider from Paris looking into your little world in Pittsburgh. I enjoy to myself thinking of it like the famous Ant Farm that children possess - I am like a giant and through the wonderous glory of the Internet, I am able to look in and see you - the Pittsburghoise - as small ants that go about your duties of wandering around aimlessly and digging holes and giving birth and finding food.

Must I say that I am your biggest fans. If I could, I would have in possession a hand made of foam with the index finger extended to form the number one for you. But I must point out to you when you are making an embaressment of yourselfs. I am talking about the lack of embacing signs!

As all of us people of smartness know, Signs especially large and technologicly superior multicolored LCD television-similar signs show the level of civilization of the residents where the signs exist. As an outsider, I remind you like a parent at the dinner table where you like the child is using the wrong fork - I am kicking you under the table very hard in your legs - shape up and embrace the Sign with passion for you will be seen from the outside as primitive cave people who talk in grunts and throw rocks and wear animal fur as your only form of clothing.

May I also point out that I have formed my own technology company PierreSoft which will provide solutions of software for cities such as Pittsburgh at large amounts of money. I have thoughts of moving my headquarters to Pittsburgh but I am afriad you may be unfriendly to me and my business. Since you are not embracing the latest technology, I am afraid you may brain me by hitting me on the head with your mammoth bone that you have chewed your dinner from. As of now, my headquarters are just my laptop computer (which for you cave people is a computer that is small enough to fit on my lap) but I have visions of my company needing a large building that will scrape the sky! Thus, you must listen to me and appeal to my tastes for I may someday soon be a Person of Vision in your city!

We as smart people of business know that signs are good and they tell us that a city has businesses and show that you are friendly to people like me. When I visit your city, I will be disapointed and full of fear if there is not bright colorful signs to embrace me.

So may I say it again, Cave People, embrace the Sign with the passion you would embrace a lover. While I know you are not as artful of lovers as us in France, you obviously know how to make love since there are births in your city. So embrace limply and unartistly as you might the Signs that will show the world that you to are full of Smartness and like the rest of the civilized world. Please stop being Cave People!

True Man of Vision: Herb Burger

2008-03-17T04:26:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Big Paris!

I was surprised to read on your Pittsburgh online Newspaper the grand words of a true man of Vision and Greatness - Mr. Herb Burger.

Where should I start? His essay is like a buffet with many good treats with so much meat your bowels will become stuck.

His call to action is so persuasive I must stand up and shout, "Yes! The City and State must buy more property in the Downtown to give to Men of Business to grow the dream. Plus, add more parking!"

Mr. Burger is a True Cowboy Man of Vision. I adore his statement of "It is time to go beyond planning and studying...." Forget Market Studies. I picture Mr. Burger in a cowboy hat standing next to a pen of angry bulls. His Clint Eastwood eyes are squinted as he surveys the foaming mouths and angry huffing from the angry massive bulls. Which one will he choose? He chooses the most angry bull and then looks over at you and says, "That is the one YOU will ride! I will watch."

What a brilliant man! I always thought of the hero as the person who takes the risk but now I realize that is wrong. The hero is the one who convinces the stupid to put their life on the line. Take D-Day during the great war of two. A smart person does not run at people who are shooting at them. The smart person gets others to run at the people with the guns, thus the generals of D-Day are the true heros for they were not shot at and lived to see success or if they saw failure, they still lived.

How does this translated in Mr. Burger? He is the general. He is calling for the State and the City to put up the money... to take the risk. But what is great is that the stupid people are the people! They will never know they have been shot. They will say, "I do not have money for my loaf of bread" That is what the Bread of Wonder is for!

I now know how things works in the City of Pittsburgh with People of Vision. I can be with them and soar with them.

Mr. Ruterkraus: I would gladly have you take me out to dinner when you visit Paris. We have many great food establishments. I will allow you to take me to the grandest if that is what you desire. Thank you for the offer. While you are not The Mayor, I would take you as an official representative of the Great City of Pittsburgh.

My Supreme Advice For Mr. Ravenstahl

2008-03-14T03:42:00.000-07:00

Hello from warming Paris!

I must confess that I have finally recovered from my upsetness at being ignored when Mr. Ravenstahl visited my home town of Paris and missed reaching out and touching me. I felt what the turd from a dog must feel when being deposited on a sidewalk and watching the rear quarters of the dog walk away... "Hello, where must you be going?!?!?! Are you leaving me? Please come back and take me with you! I am becoming cold and stale!" I no longer feel like the turd.

My first supreme advice is......
Make a law banning Van Halen from ever coming to Pittsburgh again. It is clear from the news that they will not be visiting Pittsburgh therefore they see Pittsburgh as the turd. You must show that Pittsburgh is the dog. Ban them forever. I declare that Pittsburgh should declare itself a Van Halen Free Zone and declare the war on them. Van Halen is not what it once was therefore a funeral should be had with crying and then record burning. Signs must be erected to declare the message "Non Viva Van Halen!!"

My second supreme advice is.....
Now you Mr Ravenstahl, must make the sign on the bus station bigger and make your picture appear on it over and over. I have been following confusingly the controversy of the electric sign. You, Mr. Ravenstahl, must show you are the Master Dog of the Pack. Do not let the little dogs of the City Council bark at you. You must make them the turds that they are. Growl at them and declare that now the Electric Sign will be twice as big!!! Then make sure your picture is on the sign between every advertisement. This will send the little dogs the right message. It will be as effective as pissing in their face. Why not now put up 2 signs?

That is all my advice for now. Thank you.

Updated:
I thought of one other speck of supreme advice...
It appears that a stink has been deposited about the issue of the vehicles that city employees must take home. It appears that the City Council is undermining your authority, Mr. Ravenstahl. May I suggest as it seems your lawyers would agree, the authority to give or take vehicles lays within your bounds. Thus, you should give the Council members that you like a car for their outstanding servitude. I do not know if you have the authority to force people to drive certain vehicles, but if so, may I suggest that you make Mr. Kraus ride a small donkey. And while it may be hard on the donkey, do not plow the monstrous snow or fill the monstrous holes the size of pots on Mr. Kraus's route to his office. Wage your war on snow and holes strategically and have your battle fronts in other areas while your enemies starve and their area turns to desert! Laugh at the man riding the donkey!

My Thoughts on The Primary

2008-03-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Northside - by Strawberry Way

I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming election and I;m really upset.

I have always voted Democrate so I am going to vote for a Democrate no questions asked, but I am having a tough problem. The only woman I have ever voted for was Darlene Harris. So while I could pull the level for Hillary, I don't like how she comes across as ... how do I say it... so unfeminine. I don't know if I can vote for a lesbeing.

When it comes to Barak Obama, it is a whole other ball of wax. I'm not predjudgist but when everyone says he is the next JFK, I squint my eyes when I see him on the tv and he just looks nothing like JFK. He looks looks to dark to be JFK. When I hear them say that he is inexperienced, I know that what they are really trying to say is that black people have only been able to vote for like 40 years and he will likely turn the white house into some sort of gangster rap stars house like those guys in that show my granddaughter likes - pimp my house I think it is called. I just don't think the American people can tolorate our president wearing bunches of gold chains and saying "Yo".

I never thought I'd say this but I am upset with the Democratic Party making me have to choose between these two. I just wish that John Edwards was still running. He was handsome.

I want this website to endorse someone so that I can tell my readers who to vote for. I know in the end, I'll endorse who the democratic party tells me to but it looks like Big Ed Randell is going for Hillary and that makes me want to throw up. So I am going to say it here....

I want the different campaigns to try to convince me why I should endorse their candidate. Send me an e-mail at strawberryway@gmail.com. Remember I run the best website in Pittsburgh and I've had over 2 million hits in less than 9 months so email me.

Leave Luke Allone you Meanies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

Hello from the Northside - Strawberry Way!

There is so much hate in the world and it seems that the blog-o-sphere is so full of it -and it is full of other stuff too!

I can't believe how full of hate the pimple butted latte drinking class of Pittsburgh Blogging is. They can't leave The Mayor alone. He takes some of his hard earned money and writes a check to pay off the use of that SUV and they still can't let it alone. Now they are measuring stuff like how far Harrisburg is. Well, I can tell you, let's say The Mayor took a phone call and talked on the telephone about city business for a few miles while on the PA Turnpike. I think those miles count as offical business. Let's say The Mayor looked out the window and was thinking about the city's problems. I think that counts as official business. So how do those Bloggers sitting in their underwear letting there hate come out of there finger tips and out onto the internets know how much The Mayor was thinkiing of offical business? You can have all the Googles in the world but they can't read peoples minds yet.

Last Week, The Mayor declared war on Potholes and I lukily had a dump truck come down MY street and fill MY potholes. I think The Mayor should send around a Public Works crew to fill in all the pie holes of those hatefilled Pittsburgh Bloggers. Just shovel a hot shovelfull of asphalt into their hate hole and smash it down flat with the shovel!

That all reminds me that I forgot to post the picture of the month from Mr. Tinklebreath who so nicely tried to help me create a calendar for 2008 but the Evil Cafepress wouldn't print it!!!! Cafepress is full of hate!

and here is the one from January which I haven't shown yet...

I don't know how to make the pictures bigger! Ugh. I had done it before but I don't know what to do!!!! I hate blogger!!!!!!!!

My Fans Are Healthy

2008-03-04T03:58:00.000-08:00

From Excitable Paris!!!

I often get notes of thanks from fans of my lovely wrtten words, and I wish to share this photo that I graciously recieved!

I Knew Not The Myron Cope but I See He Was Loved

2008-03-02T06:10:00.000-08:00

Hello from the Highly Evolving Paris!!!

Every day is a new adventure since I have fallen in love with my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. I would encourage everyone to fall in love with a place they have never seen, but since I too like many wish not to drain the brain of Pittsburgh any more, I encourage all to dream of a Pittsburgh that you have never seen too!

Every day I learn something new and I have learned recently of Mr. Myron Cope. He was the Mascot puppet of the Steelers before they invented the puppet charater Steely Dan that debuted this past football year. While Steely Dan is highly cartooned - he is yellow and carries a steel beam, Mr. Myron was also a cartoon but more like a real man be it a small Leprechaun of a man. Mr. Myron also spoke which is higly different than Steely Dan.

It appears that the creators of The Myron Cope were very detail oriented. They created a new language for their character with phrases borrowed from the Yiddish such as "Yoi" and "Double Yoi" and "Gorgonzola" and "Bungels". This flowery language stuck like a seed in the imagination of the Pittburghquois and The Myron Cope grew in their heart.

As another sign of the true creativity of creators of The Myron, is that they had their charater invent a symbol that has turned into the flag of the Steelers Nation - The Terrible Towel!!! I did not know that The Myron created this towel that I so lovingly twirled and hugged like the blanket of a baby and wiped away my tears when the Steelers ended their football year. What a multipurpose invention. While we do not have a supplier of the Terrible Towel here in France, I relied on my inventiveish and put a black marker to a yellow bathing cloth and created my own. I hold it close to my heart right now as I write these words!

Many must have saw the end of The Myron coming when the Steelers introduced Mr. Steely Dan this past football year, but their hearts finally broke this past week. While I knew not The Myron Cope, my heart is broken too. Let us all cry together around the whole globe of Steeler Nation.

It is clear that the current creators of Mascot Puppetry today lack the skills of the Masters of yesterday. Mr. Steely Dan is a poor substitute that does not even talk. May be Steely Dan will be sent to his grave soon to?

Goodbye Myron Cope

2008-02-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

By Strawberry Way

I am so sad that Myron has passed on. I felt about him the same way I felt about my husband. Sometimes I thought he was stupid. Sometimes I liked him. Sometimes he made me happy. The only difference is that my husband is still alive and living on the third floor of my house. What a jaggoff.

I did what most Pittsburghs did when they listened to the Steelers. I would turn on the TV and turn down the sound and turn on the radio and listen to Myron. The biggest problem was when the Steelers games moved to WDVE, I would some times get up in the morning after a game and turn on my radio and I'd hear that awful rock music. I hated that. Or worse I'd turn it on and those jaggoffs Jimmy and Kren would be telling one of their dirty nasty pornographic comedy things. Ugh, I'd almost vomit and my day would be ruined.

Myron was so cute. I sometimes thought he had to be a muppet. When I got my dog, he was so ugly and cute at the same time that I had to name him Myron Cope. So while Pittsburgh doesn't have the real Myron Cope, I still have my ugly mutt Myron to keep me company.

When I'd be watching Steelers games, I often felt like me and Myron were drinking IC Light together. He was my drinking partner. We laughed together. We cried together. We yelled nonesense together. He will be missed.

One of my fondest memories of my life was when the whole Terrible Towel thing took off thanks to Myron. My son Frankie loved his Terrible Towel. He would wear it around like a cape and called himself Super Steelers Man. For one Christmas when Frankie was like 10, I thought I'd do something nice so I made him a quilt made out of about 20 terrible towels sowed together. I'm not a good sower so when the first night he slept with it my hisband and me were woken up by my son screaming. We ran in and my quilt had fallen apart and Frankie was so tangled up in it that he was trapped. My husband and I doubled over laughing. My husband had to go get his camera. It looked like Little Frankie was getting eaten by the Terrible Towl Monster. It is one of my favorite photos with Frankie screaming and yelling. It is cute.

So good by Myron. Whenever I pet my dog Myron. I'll think of you. When ever I let my dog Myron lick the rim of my beer can, I'll think of it as a tribute to you.

I AM SOOOOO GLAD!!!!!!

2008-02-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

This is Strawberry Way! All so known as ILuvLuke!

I BET you thought the Headline would be "I AM SO MAD!!!!!" But notice that it says "GLAD!" And it is not just because I have given up being Mad for Lent! It is because Brian O'Neill has finally said something that I would have said! You can read it hear -link!

Especially when he says...

"But unless more saps step forward to support the lottery, 14 casinos and the
thousands of poker machines in corner bars, we are threatening our carefully
designed plans to help seniors, reduce property taxes and nurture small
business.
Frankly, I blame our younger generation. These kids, with their hip
and their hop, their iPods and their energy drinks, don't play these games the
way their parents and grandparents do."

AMEN! The younger genration needs to buy more lottery tickets. I think somehow the Pittsburgh Promise should be tied into buying Lottery tickets to teach these kids something and to teach them that helping Seniors like me is a good thing. How about you only get your Pittsburgh Promise money if you hit the numbers? Or they should put poker machines in the schools and if you win, that is how much money you get? I don't think it is right to just give kids money without them working for it.

Thank you Mr. O'Neill for pointing the way for the kids today to be part of THE SOLUTION and not part OF THE PROBLEM. I still might get property tax relief before I die!!!!!!!!!!

Our 2 Millionth Visitors

2008-02-25T08:15:00.000-08:00

Hello, this is Strawberry Way and over the weekend I was talking to my Granddaughter Tiffany who helped me create this Blog. She was checking over My Blog and she told me that we have had over two million people visit this website since I started it last summer!!!

That is a lot of people. I don't know how she can tell who is visiting but she is good at computers. She said that she hasn't even had that many people visit her facebook page (whatever that is).

So I guess I am doing something right so thanks for stopping by. Again I think that proves I really do have the Best Blog in Pittsburgh.

So in the spirit of the Academy Awards I'm giving my self the following awards....

Best Blog in Pittsburgh - ILuvLuke
Best Blog in Pittsburgh by an Old Person - ILuvLuke
Best Blog in Pittsburgh that has a gay person and a French Person - ILuvLuke
Best Blog in Pittsburgh that Likes the Mayor - ILuvLuke

So there you go! God Bless!

IRON CITY BEER TRIUMPH

2008-02-21T04:08:00.000-08:00

Hello good friends from my home of Paris!

While I have never experienced the drink of Iron City on my lips as of yet, I am very excited to read the state of Pennsylvania believes in this traditional beer enough to give the brewer the big money. I read it here.

I see that they hope to brew 327,000 barrels of beer in a year. If a half barrel is 15 1/2 gallons. a full barrel is 31 gallons. That is 10,137,000 gallons of beer.

If the city of Pittsburgh has a population of 325,337 , that is about 31 gallons per person. That works out to be about 11 ounces of beer per person per day of the year. So that means that every single person in the city drinks one bottle of beer a day regardless if they are a child or a handicap! That means each person drinks a barrel of beer a year.

I am so proud of you Pittsburgh. I have often seen Pittsburgh refered to as a football city with a drinking problem but at one beer a day, I do not see this as a problem.

The List of Who to Hate would be to long!!!!!!!

2008-02-18T07:19:00.000-08:00

Some people have been talking in the comments about having a list of who to hate so it would be easy to know who to hate and who to like. Well, the list would be to long so I'll just sort of add to it as we go along....

Todays paper gives us so much stuff!

1) Riverlife Task Force - HATE -
There is this letter to the editor that caputures it perfectly. Every day we wait to get the caSINo opened, the more our town is going to die. I am going to blame every single problem on this group until the caSINo opens. Obviously they only care about riverLIFE and don't care about land LIFE. If I started a group called Street Life Task Force would that allow me control the sidewalks or the buildings that I see from the street? These people need to stick to the river and worry about the fish or the mud and muck that is on the bottom of the river.
This guy who wrote the letter has lived some other places like New York and San Francisco and he travels a lot so he obviously knows more than us who hardly ever leave our neighborhoods and if we want to attract people like him we need to get the caSINO built right now! Plus, he points out that Mr. Barden is black and it might just be racism that is making the riverlife task force hate him. Just let him build his caSINO! I don't care if he makes it of cardboard. We need property tax relief and we need slot NOW!

2) Pat Ford - Like -
While he is one of the most handsomest men in government, we don't get to see enough pictures of him! He is trying to do some good stuff and a bunch of haters don't trust him. He is just trying to do good stuff. Don't people understand that if we don't do stuff fast nothing will get done and we will be a ghost town with tumble weeds rolling down the street. All the stuff of having public hearings and sueing people who are trying to do good things will just scare people way.
I think Mr. Ford captures it perfectly, "I like signs," said Mr. Ford. "It tells us that we're vibrant, that we're lively, that we like business." We heare at ILuvLuke say more signs! Actually we should put a whole bunch up that say exactly what mr. Ford said. They should say "We like signs. We like Business." so for our next section...

3) Signs - Like -

4) Ruth Ann Daily - Hate -
She has a whole collum about how she hates signs! So now when you see downtown become a ghost town, we can blame Ruth Ann. She hates Pittsburgh and she is going to scare everything good away. I sometimes think all the problems of Pittsburgh can be followed right back to Ruth Ann Daily's doorstep. She is one of the most powerful women in Pittsburgh. Her and Ellise Hillman want to destroy Pittsburgh and make it a Repulican waste land.

So I hope you like our list and we hope it helps you know who to like and hate. This should make life easier for everyone. God Bless.

The Snow Fells On Your Pretty City!!

2008-02-17T07:08:00.000-08:00

Hello from Paris where we are given an average of 11 inches of snow all winter.....

I read that the people of my adoptable Pittsburgh were plugged into their homes as the fury of Mrs. Mother Nature brutalized you with her wailing fists of frigid weather and snow filled karate chop of snow and dibilitating ice hammers that curtained your roadways with glistening frosting of frozen rain like the slick coverings of donuts and pastries against a backdrop of a fog of blowing snow that appeared like the dandriff of the great god zeus and would give little jack frost a scare so much his heart would stop and his dead body would be like a frozen capon sitting in the sub zero freezer of God waiting to be turned to a nice jack frost beef stew with a Burgundy juice with roasted carrots and onion! With that, I am so please to communicate with you my Pittsburghois. I hope and pray that you are following the life styles of the northern Eskimo who still live among you for your own survival.

I have followed on your news broadcasts on the television that are on the internet the disasters that have befallen you. Schools are closed! Through the wonder of the internet even I in Paris know that the Cuddlebear Day Care in your town of Braddock was closed! The highways are full of cars that are slipping into each other. The news reporters are forced to stand live in the galls!

One thing I find puzzling about your News Reports is how the reporter will start their report lets say about unplowed streets by standing on the sidewalk and then walking into the street until you as the viewer can see the whole street that is unplowed. Why must they be walking. Why not start with standing in the street?

Plus, why so many reports that are "Live"? I will see the reporters standing in a dark parking lot that appears to be directly across from your grand City Building talking about a council meeting or a law trial that day. Why must a reporter be forced to stand in front of a building that is obviously closed with nothing going on to make their LIVE broadcast report? Is this just Pittsburgh or all of American?

One last thing, I am terrified by the Severe Weather Center on the one broadcast. When I first found it, I believe that the weather in Pittsburgh was so bad all the time that if I ventured there on my quest I would surely be taking my life in my own hands. But then I realized that even if it is sunny in Pittsburgh the Severe Weather Center is still reporting. Could they not set up a Mild Weather Center or a Pleasent Weather Center and report from there when appropriate? I wonder how many people not as smart as I have been frightened from visiting your pleasent city because they are fearful of the severe weather?

and finally, may I continue to petetion your People of Vision to at the very least fly me to your fair town to demostrate my software creation to better aid your city... link

LEAVE DARLENE HARRIS ALONE!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-15T07:44:00.000-08:00

BY Me Strawberry Way:

There is all this humb bub (how do you spell that? hub bub? Hum bup?) Anyway, people are getting all worked up in the Burgh-o - Spere about a report on KDKA about how politicians get there streets plowed first. Here is the story... http://kdka.com/video/?id=38292@kdka.dayport.com

I have a couple things about this....
First, The Mayor said that he wanted his street plowed last but Guy Costa (who I'm not sure if I'm supose to hate him or not could some one tell me?) said that he plows The Mayors street first. I am sick of hearing all these local bloggers saying stuff like,
"Oh, the Mayor doesn't want his street plowed so can call in sick to work."
"Hey they don't plow secordary streets for 36 hours so the mayor can take 1 1/2 days off!"
"he likes sled riding on his street so that's why he doesn't want it plowed."
"Lukie calls Guy, 'I made a real nice snow man in the middle of my street. Plow my street last so I can show it to my mom."
"I bet Luke Puke likes making snow angels in the street."
"Did Marty Griffin check to see the real smoking snow fort Lukey made in front of his house."
"Luke doesn't want the salt truck to come down his street until he comes home from work because he likes throwing snow balls at it."
I can't believe people are making fun of The Mayor this way. We need to find out who are saying these things and give them a big spanking (now that it is Lent and I am being NICE, a spanking seems like a nice thing compared to what I would have recommened when I was MEAN!)

Another thing, All these bloggers are getting all wierd because Darlene Harris has video camera to watch when the salt trucks come up her street. Well, first, I am sure she has those cameras because of all the wierdo bloggers that are out there. I'm sure she has a bunch of guns in her house also. Hopefully, Marty Griffin will do a story about "How are local politicians protecting themselves from the crazy wack job bloggers of Pittsburgh!" While part of me thinks that the city should buy video cameras forall elected officials and democratic committee people for their own protection, the other part of me doesn't want to pay anymore taxes to do that.

I AM STILL ALIVE!!!!!

2008-02-12T07:26:00.000-08:00

I know there are tons of people who wish I were dead but I'm not. I'm still being nice and I've even given up being mean for Lent!!!!

But I just have something to say - and I don't think it is mean ....

WHY ARE KIDS TODAY SUCH WIMPS?

I noticed that the city schools are closed today because of snow and yesterday they were delayed because IT WAS COLD!!!!!! I never remember not having to go to school because it was COLD!!!! No wonder kids today are turning to such puddles of lard!!!! We are raising a generation of fat little pansies who are going to wilt at the slightest problem.

I know I AM OVERWEIGHT but do we really want to have a genration of young people who have to waddle like lobsters to get to school? If we don't do something about this younger genration, the only young people left in Pittsburgh are going to be the fat kids who can't waddle out of the city.

Here is what we have to look forward too...

My Heart Flutters with HOPE!!!!

2008-02-07T07:02:00.000-08:00

Dispatched from the Fair City of Paris

I admit that my anger has been boiling me like a tea kettle. I read somewhere that the Grand Mayor Luke Ravenstahl was in my town of home Paris. I would be understanding if he wished not to connect with me for he was traveling with his wife and I must truthfully admit that my town was built for Love and for the virgin traveler when taking that first drink of this city the intoxication would make any virgin traveler giddy and forgetful of the goings on of the real world and wish to forever spend days and nights in the bed. So I was understanding if the Mayor wished not to contact me.

But then I read, that he had a breakfast where he showed an exciting Point Of Power Presentation. People were invited by email but I failed to recieve an invitation. I had not felt such anger since Van Halen dismissed my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. We know where that anger got me and you - Van Halen relented and will be visiting you next month!!!

I was so very close to destroying my Pittsburgh scrapebook that I have created. For to long I had tolorated the taunts of my friends, family and co-worker who called me Donnie Quixote (which they pronounced Donnie as "Daawn-nee" as they imaged a True Pittsburgher would say). Poor Andre was named "Sancho" as if he were my earthly squire!

But I have gained strength through this name and in my darkest hour of last night I thought "What would the true Don Quixote do?" I call for a vision to show me the way on my quest.

This morning, my call was answered when I read your paper and saw this article - Vive la Downtown! Business grants available to instill a touch of Paris.

I shall be the touch? Was this a sign? The program is called Paris to Pittsburgh which makes me think of myself traveling there! What could be more Parisian than a Parisian! I would be more than willing to properly display the flowers in front of your shops. I would be more than willing to develop my mime show. Every day your people of business could spend a lovely two hours of their lunch time experiencing a show I will develop entitled titled "Mime Time with Pierre". If this will get me to my adoptable city, I shall do it!

My heart has been lifted as like a butterfly. There is hope in the world! Has this plan been planned all along by the Great Mayor?

I may soon be joining all of YINZ!

Happy Birthday, Mayor!!!!

2008-02-06T07:04:00.000-08:00

I know you all wish I were dead, but I made a new years resolution that I would be nice this year. It all started when my family ruined my CHRISTmas dinner by talking about how mean I am. I made a vow to myself that I was going to be nice all year so next CHRISTmas dinner I can tell them how nice I have been and then show them the long list of what jaggoffs they all are.

So far I have let everyone watch MY television set and eat MY snacks on MY couch. I even let my grandson's mother take me to see the V*gina Monologs!!!! So far I have not complained. My Jaggoff list is getting long and being nice has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

By the way, Mr. Tinklebreath (the greatest graphic desginer in Pittsburgh and a big fan of this website) made a calendar that we could sell on Cafepress. The Happy Birthday graphic above was for the month of February. The problem was Cafepress didn't want to print it so now I am left with all these great graphics that I am going to post through the year.

Thank you Mr. Tinklebreath.

Plus, I have been emailing with Pierre and he is really hart broken that he wasn't invited to The Mayor's breakfast in Paris. I've told him that it had to be a mistake. He wanted to start a blog named IDislikeLuke. I told him to take some deep breaths. Hopefully he will come back to the fold.

Happy Birthday Mayor!!!!!!!!!!!

The Quest For My Love?

2008-01-31T04:20:00.000-08:00

Hello from the shining other Cultural Capital Paris!!

I give thanks to all for the support I am recieving in my quest. I with full truth feel I may be able to save your city. How may you explain that I have falling in love with a strange city on the other side of the world.

In Paris, we are use to visitors who come to our city who have dreams of making love to our city. Some since childhood have dreamed of a romantic city with such dreams of spring time in Paris or kissing under the Eiffel Tower. These images did not develop overnight. For centuries, we in France have cultivated such images like small plantings of flowers waiting for the blooming. Plus, we found long ago when searching for young women to make love to what better way to bring a weak kneed forgien girl with romantic dreams in her head right to you!!! They stay for a few days, fall in love, make love and then leave! We Parisians are not as dumb as you think. Have the mouse come to you, Cat!

I share this with you in Pittsburgh for hope that you can learn. Think of your visions of your city like a muscle. Exercise you visionary muscle every day!

My New Software Creation!

2008-01-28T17:43:00.000-08:00

From Paris that has been upset by a young man ruining a bank!

This past weekend I made a software product to help with the removal of snow in my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. Being a technologist, this was very easy for myself.

If the city would like to see this, the can pay for my trip and I will buy a laptop and bring my software with me to show! If you wish to use my software product for the paving of streets or for the removing of trash, I can easily change the picture and some words and the system will be ready for that use too!

Here are some pictures. Click Pictures to see them correctly. It is very easy to use....

Pick your criteria for the streets demanding snow removal! Then hit the Go! button.

A detailed map is ready for the snow truck driver. In this example, is for the Mayor to get to work!

While I must be truthful and admit it does not work to the perfection I desire (currently it only works on Windows ME), with a contract and its purchase I can work out the problems and make it better than what the city currently possesses.

If you wish for a demostration in person, please e-mail me at pierre4pgh@gmailcom

Urban Redistribution Authority

2008-01-23T12:15:00.000-08:00

Today, I read this article in the Post Gagette. It made me so mad I could spit. Or cry. I'm not sure which. Strawberry way will probably be drowning her sorrows in IC Light and Cigarettes when she reads it. Poor Strawberry. I wanted to write about this immediately in hopes that Mayor Luke would be able to do something about it.

Basically, what they are saying is that our beloved URA (that's the Urban Redevelopment Authority) just sold the old downtown GC Murpphy builing for $2.3 million. And, that the sale price is LESS than what they paid for it! How stupid is this? An agency of our bankrupt city is buying buildings, then selling them for a loss? Actually, according to the article, the URA paid $6.28 million for the properties!! So, they have sold it for about 1/3 what they paid for it.

Well, I am going to rename the URA the Urban Retardation Authority! With no offense intended to people who are mentally retarded. They cannot help it because they are born that way. But, the URA is behaving like a bunch of retards, and they were not born that way, so they have no excuse.

The URA claims that, by selling the property at a significant loss, they are turning a bad situation around. Of course, it was a stupid lawyer who said that, so what do you expect? Basically, they are just selling the property to Millcraft Industries for a song. Speaking of songs, it's like they think they are taking a frown and turning it upside down! But they are not! This still really makes me frown!

This would be like if you bought a vacant old house in Lawrenceville for, let's say, $65,000. Then, you just sat on it for a couple of years, letting it get even more run down and then re-sold it to a couple of crack dealers for $22,000! Why would you be so stupid as to do this? And, what are those crack dealers going to do with the house? Probably turn it into some kind of crack whore house for all their friends. How can this be turning a bad situation around? It would be just like that damn casino/whorehouse Don Barden is building for his gambling buddies on the Northside. God only knows how much the URA is paying Barden to build that thing! Or, you know, Millcraft already built that fancy Steakhouse in the former (brand new) Lazarus building (which the City and the URA basically paid for in the first place, then gave to Millcraft). The Steakhouse is just a place for the rich Millcraft crack whore friends of Jack Piatt to hang out. No regular folks can afford to go there, so it might as well be a crack whore house, which regular god-fearing people also do not go to. We just want to be able to go to a nice Denny's or Eat 'n Park and get a happy meal after church like real people. Does the URA do anything to help make this possible for us? NO! I would also be a bit happier if the URA would give somebody money to build some decent gay bars, then just let us LesBiGays and our creative class friends fix up everything real nice. But they do not do that either! Nope, it's just fancy places for rich people. Geez, you'd think that the Republican Loser DeSantis was running this City instead of Luke. Well, I know Luke wants somewhere to go after Church, even if, as a Catholic, he is not a true Christian.

Anyway, what is happening is that the URA basically gave 4 million dollars of the taxpayers' hard-earned money to Millcraft industries to build another fancy "redevelopment." Way to go URA! I do not like this waste of money at all. I am just really upset about it and I am wondering if Mayor Luke knows about it? Surely he would not let this happen!

URA's Shameful $4 million giveaway to Millcraft leads me to my second new name for the URA: Urban Redistribution Authority (because they redistribute money to rich people).

I hope Mayor Luke can put a stop to this madness and waste of public money. I know he wants to. Luke, are you reading this?

Many News That I Wish To Report And Make Commentary

2008-01-16T04:04:00.000-08:00

From Paris Full of Love!

1) Man Goes To BasketBall Game:
I was reading about how Mr. Todd Reidbord left a meeting for the Planning Commission listening to angry people from the soon to be domed Hill District to have some relaxation by watching a BasketBall game. People from The Hill District are mad as they trend to be but also gangs of Pittsburgh Bloggers have their "female under clothing gathering tightly".
It is clear to me that Mr. Reidbord knew which way his vote was going to go when he first sat down in his chair. As the meeting went on for hours and hours beyond what we in France call a long work day beyond 5.5 hours, boredom must have settled into his body. If I were that man, it would be hard to keep my eyes from closing. I would be doing puzzles like Sudoku (which is taking France like a storm. Beware of this addictive puzzle drug Pittsburgh if you have not been captured by it already!!!!). But if I were a powerful visionary like Mr. Reidbold, I would be working on my next Big Project and I would be making drawings of massive buildings and drawing maps of the properties I would need and figuring the amount of money I would want from the city. Then if I knew the Mayor was at a BasketBall game and I could show him my plans, I would rush to the game arena to show my plans and hopefully even before the Kickoff of the BasketBall game, I would have another many million dollar deal done.
This is how true people of vision do their work. I know many of you who are common would not understand. Since you mostly work on base instinct like an animal, your not understanding turns to anger. People of vision understand this from you and expect this. They understand you think the game is checkers but they are really playing that 4th Dimensional Chess game that was often shown on Star Trek!!!

2) I Have A New Almost GirlFriend!!!
While she is not up to Lindsey Lohan, I have found Cat Call who seems smart and full of advice. I find the graphic on her website Cat Call does not reflect her well. The graphic makes her appear set for the cartoon SouthPark.

3) Is Mr. Ravenstahl To Surprise Me?
I have read that Mr. Ravenstahl is traveling to my village of Paris with his wife Erin. While I am surprised that he has not had a minion contact me, I have read this as clearly he will be surprising me!
While I know not his itinerary, I will be expecting a phone call or having him appear from nowhere to shake my hand. I will gladly give a tour of my grand city! I will surely remind him that Paris is a grand place to do what it takes to start a family! We as the French would be proud if the next generation of Ravenstahls begin in our fair city. Félicitations!!!!

My Parking Chair Update!!!!

2008-01-15T09:30:00.000-08:00

So you might remember that my Parking Chair was stolen right around The Election? Well, the mystery has been solved sort of. I was walking my little dog Myron (named after MyronCope) around the block and it happened to be trash day. While little Myron was squatting making a BM I noticed my parking chair leg poking out of my neighbors black trash bag. I ripped the thing open and there it was with all my "Luke For Mayor" posters and everything. Someone had taken my nice cut out face of the Mayor and burned out his eyes with cigarettes and put devil horns on him and wrote the numbers 666 on his forehead.

The problem is the garbage pile is right between 2 houses so I can't tell who really took it. One house is my neighbor Helen who is a little old lady and the other one I think is a crack house full of kids that go to the culinary arts school. I figured its them because that is something they would do. I wasn't going to there door because who knows what they would do if I woke them up from their drug hangovers. You know they care knives!!!

So I went up to Helen's door and knocked. It took a long time but she finally answered the door. I asked her if she had taken my parking chair.

She said NO!

And then she went off saying things like I don't even have a car so why do I need to save a space. Then she called me mean. Then she reminded me that I had put stickers under peoples windshield wipers telling the to vote for The Mayor and it rained and then the neighbors had to scrape the stickers off.

She said that when she had a neighbor Christmas party where she invited all "the nice neighbors" (which it seems didn't include me) she said someone brought the chair over and put it her dinning room for the party and everyone started attacking it. Then she slammed the door.
I went and got my chair from the trash and put it right back where it had stood for 20 plus years. Now it looks awful. Before it was all rusty and ripped with some of the yellow foam showing on cushion but now it is all bent up and yucky.

I know in my heart I am not mean, and I am going to rely on my good Catholic upbringing and forgive her. I know I still have friends in the neighborhood like the retarded couple up the street and there are some other little old ladies who we've lived together for most of our lives and I've watched their children grow up and their husbands die.

The thing that brings me the most strength through this tough time is that I am the biggest supporter of The Mayor and I have his 311 number on speed dial. And I know if I have any problems I can just give him a call. Also, I run the BEST blog in Pittsburgh so I sit back and be happy about that.

Policy Paper!!!! Hill District

2008-01-10T04:40:00.000-08:00

From the city where our country's President dates a most beautiful model - Paris!!!!

From my studies, I have a plan to propose for dealing with the Hill District that should make everyone on all sides of the fence be happy.

Let us take the Hill District and enclose it in a dome and make it into a shopping mall destination! Let us not forget to include a Steakhouse for this seems to be a sure sign of developmental success!!!

From my studies, the Hill District is not too large and engineers could surely enclose the whole area with a dome. I figure with all the steel that is in Pittsburgh and with some good students from the Carnegie Mellon, this should be easy.

Here are the benefits for the residents...
- They would have a grocery store that would be the Food Court of the Mall. They could easily pick food from many different vendors that represent the cuisines of the world. Chinese! American! Pretzel Shoppe!

- Living in a dome, they would not have to worry about weather. The dome would be climate controled so they would never have to shovel the snow again! Heating bills would be payed by the mall.

- They would work where they live. You would never have to leave the building to get to work. Some people would work for the stores in the mall but others could be historial recreator to show what the Hill District was like. I have heard of Williamsburg where revolotionary war time is recreated and people travel from around the world to experience the people in costumes. This would be a destination.

- It would be very secure. There would be only a few entrances so it would be easy to guard who is coming and going and the crime rate would go down. In case of crime all the doors could be locked, and the bad guys could easily easily be caught. In the United States, the only crime that happens at malls is usually some angry white man shooting people in a rampage so wouldn't that be an improvement over now?

Benefits to the city and to the Mayor and elected people...
- It would be an attraction. Who would not want to come to see a whole neighborhood in a dome? People would come to do the shopping. Families would come to see how the African Americans live. After a Penguins game at the new enclosed arena that will then again be enclosed, families could stroll in the middle of winter in their shorts because it will be so warm in the dome! As I undrstand a class of people called Mall Walkers - older people who enjoy walking in Malls will have the ultimate destination. 24 hours a day they could indulge in their harmless hobby in complete cliamte controled safety.

- The workforce for this giant endevour would be right there. You could easily follow the example of coal mining towns from the previous centery and charge rent and issue your own money to be used at the stores. The people could get loans of company money and before you know it, these people will become a permenent workforce that will be unable to leave. The dome maybe able to pay for itself just through this part of my policy!

- Everyone would be happy. As elected officials, you can use my plan right now to appease all the angry people. The plan has everything. It provides food and shelter as well as entertainment. Who could not be happy with that.

- The Dome could be a "green building" so you say you are saving the earth. Please look at the Biosphere 2 project - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biosphere_2

So please take my plan and do what you will with it. I know there are some parts that have been worked out, but it seems to be ok to start on big projects without having everything figured out. For using my ideas, I do not require any payment or credit. I am just trying to make Pittsburgh the best adoptable city it can be.

My Steeler National Update: The Shreds of My Heart

2008-01-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

Paris, France which only exists on the world's other side

I experienced my first loss as a Steeler National on Sunday morning. I had gone the whole football year without viewing my beloved Steelers fail. As I sat in a Turkish cafe far from my home, I observed the end of the chapter of the book that has been My Football Year as a member of the Steelers Nation.

As I watched, my heart jumped up and floated and then crashed and shattered. It is truely like a love affair with a real woman. It is like a drive in through the Alps. It is pretty. There are ups and down and on occassion you get to drive through a dark tunnel.

I jumped up from chair at times and then others I fell to the floor with my head in my hands. The Turkish men who were smoking despite the limits on smoking inside may have believed I were strange but I had payed them for the privilage of the television for some time. I also payed them for the privilage to talk out loud. Then I had to pay them for the privilage to not ask me questions about American Football while I focused my entire being into the game. I did spend the time in the middle of the game to tell them about Pittsburgh. I do not believe I convinced them of the grandness of Pittsburgh. For future note, Turks do not know a droplet about the location of Pennsylvania!

Now I face a great emptyness with out my American Steelers Football. How do you cope in Pittsburgh? I feel the urge to drink more than usual. My chin feels heavy and is hard to keep in the air. My chin is always kissing my chest.

I try to see the swans through the bird shit. I have learned so much in these past few months. Just this last game I realized that Ben Rothlesburgher does not stay on the field all game. He takes time off and stands on the side of the field after he throws the ball to the people on the other team. I assume this is for punishment.

So now I close the book after reading the final chapter of my book of my first experience with the Steelers Nation. I look forward to the next session like a fish swimming back to its spawning ground. Like a bird that must fly away for the winter knowing I will be back after the weather turns.

Thank you Dr. Tomlin for the great sessions this year and may you heal all the warriors for the fight that is next football session!

Now The Downfall of Pittsburgh is Soon

2008-01-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

I was sooooo mad earlier today when it came out that Motznik wasn't voted President and that the Pedutohead is going to be in charge of The Finance committee I actually broke my big green ashtray that I have been throwing at the wall whenever I was angry since my kids were little. Today it finally broke. If anyone knows where I can get another ashtray, let me know. I found a picture of what it looked like...

After I calmed down and cryed a little, I started feeling sorry for Mr. Motznik. He was so close and he has tried so many times to become Presient of Council. My granddaughter Tiffany said I could send something called an e-card. I found some nice ones here that I thought might cheer him up http://www.healthdiaries.com/ecards.htm I think the one that says "A brighter day is just around the corner" is soooo cute and I think it would cheer him up.

The problem is, I can't find his email address anywhere. Maybe someone could send him that card from me or send me his email address, that would be great.

Shields wins Council Presidency

2008-01-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

We are doomed.

It Is So Clear That Jim Motznik Should Be President of City Council (eventhough preseident of the United States wont be bad)

2008-01-05T02:29:00.000-08:00

I know today is a Steelers Day and I usually don't Blog but I have something to say...

I've been hearing that on Monday, City Council is going to be voting for a new City Council President. We all know after what happened with Bob O'Connor (God rest his soul) and then Luke became Mayor because he was Council President. For the last year, I have been so worried that nothing happens to The Mayor because I kept thinking look who would become Mayor - Doug Shields!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that there is going to be a vote on Monday, maybe we can put someone in there who everyone would like as Mayor - Jim Motznik!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all know from his past record that he would do exactly what Luke would do because he has done everything that Luke has wanted him to do. Who knows The Mayor's agenda better than him! If Motznik were it, it would make The Mayor's life so much easier. Get around all that City Council stuff with that "we are trying to represent people" when all they want to do is just be mean. What we need is a City Council that will just let stuff that The Mayor wants to happen happen.

Mr. Motznik is the best choice because he has been around a while and he knows how the city works and he is mean enough that he'll make all the poop heads on council do what he wants. I'll feel sorry (not!) for the big Pedutohead when Motznik is in charge. The first thing Mr. Motznik should do is make Pedutohead only have a crayon and coloring book at his desk during council meetings and maybe a sippy cup.

The big test is going to be the new people who are coming to council. There is the doctor teacher, the gay guy and the black church guy. I can't remember there names yet, but hopefully people have already talked to them and they are going to vote the right way - for The Mayor. This is going to be the big test to see if they are poopheads or not!!!

Remember readers, Doug Shields represents Squirrel Hill and remember who they voted for Mayor - RESANTIS! So remember they hate Pittsburgh. Doug Shields hates Pittsburgh. Let's see if the new Council people hate Pittsburgh too!!! I hope not. I pray they don't!!!

I AM NOT ON HIS LIST SO HE IS OFF MINE!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-03T07:48:00.000-08:00

I opened my paper this morning and I spit my coffee all over my carpet. It is a good thing my carpet is a nice dark green so it doesn't show stains to good. Right there on the cover was a picture of Danny O kissing his family and a hole story about him getting sworn in. Where was my invitation?

Here I am, the first blog to endorse Mr. Onorato for Governer( which he never aknowleged and I took back). Then he has his big party, and I hear nothing about it. Can't he remember the little people who got him to where he his? Here I am an old lady writing a Blog but I must have got him at least 5 votes plus my own!!!! And he just blows me off.

This is hard for me, but I am taking my endorsement back even further. Imagine I took it back but now I've taken it twice as far back. It is going to take a lot for him to get back to the even. Don't pass Go and don't get $200!!! Go straight to jail!

I was pretty angry about the whole drink tax thing not that it would effect me. I hardly never go out and drink. I stay at home, but I just keep thinking about the children. Here we are always talking about the young people in Pittsburgh and keeping them around, but Here comes mister big pant Danny Boy who taxes there drinks. The kids are just like the senior citizens. They don't have big wallets to afford their drinks. If we wanted to keep young people around, WE"D MAKE THE DRINKING CHEAPER!!!!

I don't blame the young people for wanting to move to Cranberry or Butler County.

This is going to be hard for me, but I have a Dan Onorato T-shirt I have been saving from the first time he was elected head of the county (he was the first Democratic County Executive! so I figure it was historic. It is a white shirt with his blue and black logo. I have hardly worn it except a few times as a night shirt). I'm going to give my shirt away. The first person who e-mails me at strawberryway@gmail.com and asks for the shirt gets it FOR FREE!

In other news, I saw that some Upper St Clair county council guy put in a bill saying that the Homestead exemption should be raised to $25,000. My house is appraised at $11,000. Does that mean I'm going to be getting like 14,000? If that is so, I am so happy. Dan you better pass that bill because that is the type of property tax relief I'm looking for!!!! With that kind of money, I'd buy every young person in Allegheny County a drink. There are about 100 young people left so it wont be that expensive.

The Grandest of New Years to All

2008-01-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

The year of the past 2007 was a formable of my life. I found the fair city of Pittsburgh thank you to the Internet and was slowly seduced. Now I am in a full love affair with a city on the other side of the world.
If I am allowed to compare Pittsburgh to a woman, I would say it has been like finding a young woman in a corner of library of books. Though she is not of the make of a super model, I sense something special. I walk close to the table where she is studying. Here hair is up like a librarian. I sit down to talk to her and she is very friendly. I notice she is not reading the most literary of books maybe something like a book of self help for her low esteem. I tell her she needs to put her chin in the air and to stop feeling like the runt of the litter of calves. Then I sing her a song....

Hey there, Georgy girl
Swingin down the street so fancy-free
Nobody you meet could ever see the loneliness there....
inside you...

Hey there, Georgy girl
Why do all the boys just pass you by?
Could it be you just don't try or is it the clothes you wear?
You're always window shopping but never stopping to buy
So shed those dowdy feathers and fly....
a little bit...

Hey there, Georgy girl
Theres another Georgy deep inside
Bring out all the love you hide
and, oh, what a change thered be
The world would see a new Georgy girl

Hey there, Georgy girl
Dreamin of the someone you could be
Life is a reality, you can't always run away
Dont be so scared of changing and rearranging yourself
It's time for jumping down from the shelf....
a little bit....

Hey there, Georgy girl
There's another Georgy deep inside
Bring out all the love you hide and, oh, what a change thered be
The world would see a new Georgy girl...
Wake up, Georgy girl
Come on, Georgy girl

At this point she absorbs the wisdom I am giving. She let's down her hair and takes off her stuffy sweater. She becomes Lindsey Lohan!

She shines with a brillience that she has she never thought she had inside. She becomes the most beautiful of the whole world.

My goal for 2008 is to make Pittsburgh into Linsey Lohan. Pittsburgh, I hope you listen to my wisdom or else you are doomed to becoming an old maid! Remember there are people who want you to stay ugly so they can feel better than you. You must destroy them.

Also as a goal for 2008, I hope to make my virgin trip to Pittsburgh. You must become the Lindsey Lohan before then or you will make me very sad. It will cost me much money to make my journey unless I find someone from Pittsburgh who will see the value of me visiting and will pay my journey and expenses. I have recieved offers from Nigeria to help me pay but I do not need to also have the Nigeria kings hidden fortune as well. I prefer my simple life. I would hope for a powerful Pittsburgher of passion and vision to step up and say, "Pierre, we are the Lindsey Lohan and we wish for you to come to us and make love." I believe all possibilities are possible.

I am back ( and I know some of you wish I had died)

2007-12-31T11:13:00.000-08:00

I am finally back. I had an awful time. I had an infection in my toe and then I ended up in the hospital. I had to spend the Christmas Holidays in a hospital bed but atleast I didn't have to spend time around my jaggoff family.

It has been such a great year. I started this great Blog and made so many new great friends. Around the city it has been great. The Mayor won twice. The first time the Pedutohead just gave up and us real Pittsburghers won. The next time back in November, The Mayor easily beat back the Pittsburgh-haters when he defeated the ReSantis.

The Mayor just keeps on winning all the political battles. He got the UPMC Promise thing going. It has been a great year to be a supportor of The Mayor. He just keeps winning and winning. For all those Mayor-haters, it must be like being a Pirates fan - always hoping for a win and always losing!!!!

I've wanted to do a top ten list or a best of for the whole year but I'm sure you can find those all over the Bloghersphere. Just remember when you read them and they are negative of The Mayor just turn it around and make it postive of The Mayor and you will find the truth.

It is going to be a great year. Pittsburgh is going to be the same great Pittsburgh it has always been. I wish all of you - including the jaggoff Pittsburgh haters - a great new year.

Christmas of Pittsburgh

2007-12-24T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hello from the always full of joy Paris...

[Here the first post from Andre, who is my friend who lost his job due to us watching the Steelers at his Store where he worked. To raise his spirits since I have made him a fan of Pittsburgh is that we shall write a Guide to Pittsburgh. This is his first attempt. I have helped with the English and enabled it to be read by you. We hope you enjoy our project!]

Celebration of The Christmas in Pittsburgh

The focus of the The Christmas celebration in Pittsburgh is a dead tree that is placed in the home for the duration of the Steelers season. It is decorated with popcorn that has been lanced on string. Then the tree is draped with aluminum foil strips called "tinsel". Every home in Pittsburgh has a creche that contains the traditional baby Christ with his Mother and Father plus a sampling of local people held in high regard such as Mr. Luke Ravenstahl or Mr. Ben Roethlesburgher. The only animal allowed in the barnyard is a donkey which represents the strong loyalties to the Democratic Party wihich is the ruling political party in the Pittsburgh area.
The children are scolded all year to be good or the Santaman (similar to Pere Noel) will leave scrape steel or iron shavings in a foot sock that each child hangs from the place of fire in the living room. The Santaman descends the chimney to gain entrance to the household and will leave presents under the dead tree. He travels with a group of deer who can fly. People do not find this strange.
On Christmas day, there is a fest of sausage in the style of sausage in Poland. Also, most people eat onion mayonaise which is dipped in to with fried chips of potato. For most of the day, most people including children drink "7 and 7" which is a drink of Canadian Whiskey and a soft drink named 7 UP. In some parts of the Pittsburgh, there is a tradition of drinking the 7 and 7s until the tounge is free for all family members to vent all the wrong doings of the others that have transgressed through the previous year. The next morning most do not remember what happened but they feel cleansed to start a new year of transgressions.
Another center of the celebration is the television which must not be turned off for the whole day. It must be tuned to college football even if no one cares about the game or is watching it.

Traditional Recipe: Pierogi
1) fry onion in butter
2) open a box of Piergoi and add to butter onion
3) stir until golden brown
4) serve on plate

I AM SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

I havent been able to get to my computer fer so long because my big toe is infected and I have so much to say. I am sooooooo mad.

1st, I had to crawl upstairs to get to my computer and I forgot my notebook that I have been keeping of all the things I've wanted to say. I am so mad!!!!

2nd, I am going to miss The Mayor's big party tonight. I was hoping to go to it even though I never recieved a personal email inviting me. I was looking so forward to it, but now I'm going to be stuck at home. Good luck Mr. Mayor!

3rd, so the dumpy city paper named some Pittgirl the Best Blog in Pittsburgh. I've been using "the BEST blog in Pittsburgh" for my blog for a long time now and it is really low for them to try to steel my idea. Im insulted, but I don't put much faith in their choices. It is like my old Hungarian Grandfather use to say, "Do you want to be compliemented by a backend of a horse?"

4th, I am so mad about everyone being so hard on UPMC. They are giving a big gift and people like the Pedutohead are like ungreatful kids. I sort of agree with Mr. Len Bodack that UPMC should just give all the money to the catholic school kids. They are the ones who have paid all the taxes but haven't used the schools. They should be given a big present.

5th, I am soooo mad that the table games have started in West Virgina and I wasn't there. I love the opening of new casino things, but I have missed that.

6th, My big toe is awful and I hate it and I wish it would just go away. The pain pills are good and I can see how these kids get hooked on them. I've stopped using them and have gone back to my tried and true Pittsburgh pain relief of IC Light. It is better for me and for all of Pittsburgh.

7th, I am so mad. Just leave The Mayor alone.

I am craweling back down stairs now.

Wish Strawberry Way A Better Health and Our Grand Adventure

2007-12-19T05:03:00.001-08:00

From Paris....

I recieved a e-mail from the Daughter of the Daughter of Strawberry Way...

Pierre,
My grandma wanted me to tell you that she had to get a hangnail fixed on her big tow and it is infected. She cant get up the stairs to the computer so she is sleeping on the couch. Shes all worried about her "fans" on her blog worried about where shes at. Can you tell them that she is fine except for her jaggoff big tow. She is writing a bunch of stuff in a notebook but I told her there is noway I'm going to type all that stuff up. I told her that I'd let you know what is going on.
4ever
Tiffany

I am unable to figure the meaning of big tow but I feel sorry and am sending grand wishes of health. I pray she does not fall pray to The UPMC.

On a note that is different. I was unable to watch the Steelers this past weekend and I fear that I will be unable to watch the next game. I fear they will loose with out my watching. While I am joyful that I have yet to see The Steelers loose I am saddened with their current performances. [ Mr. Bram, with my current busyness I must let the computer robots update my Steelers Nation Blog. I hope this does not disappoint you?]
In a sad event, my friend Andre who works at department store where we have watched games has had his job taken away due to our television watching. His spirits are in deep vast toilet of life. He has moved into my small apartment. To raise his spirits, I have put him on a grand project that I have been dreaming. We are writing a Guide to our adoptable City of Pittsburgh. This is a large feat in the vain of the large tomes of the Great Greek Homer. The english of Andre is very poor so I must work very hard myself. Wish us well on our adventure.

All Should Hail The UPMC For You're Own Health

2007-12-18T04:26:00.000-08:00

From Paris:

I try to be current with the goings of my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. Being on the other side of the world and looking in on your little circus world can sometimes give me a greater view than what you see. As I have always said, the outsider's voice is often sweeter! So with my outsider voice I ask, "Why are so many showing their anger at TheUPMC?"

Here is a company that is saving lives and is growing and growing. From my projections, in 3 yearsThe UPMC will soon be the only health care provider in the United States.

Why be so full of hate at them and to publicly show that hate? Don't you know that they keep records? Do you think that your petite letter to the editor saying you hate The UPMC does not go in your health folder? As you lay dieing in one of The UPMC health centers, your last view in life will be a doctor looking at your health folder and shaking his head while reading your little editorial while he holds your life saving medicine and slowly turns and puts it back in the cabinet?

Don't you see why you should be nice to The UPMC which will someday have control over your life and death? Now do you see why The Mayor Ravenstahl has done what he has done. He has sealed his own fate that he will receive the grandest of care! With the Pittsburgh Promise Tax Agreement With The UPMC, how do we not know that the mayor has not made a deal that all Pittsburgh Residents when they are on the butchers table will too receive the grandest of care? Maybe the Promise in the Pittsburgh Promise is something more?

Be nice now to The Grand UPMC or you may regret it later!

Some day, as you lay dieing in your health center bed, you will be hitting the button that rings a nurse and no nurse will be running to your aid. You will lay their as your final breath leaves you and you may mutter, "Pierre was right. All Hail The UPMC!" But it will be too late.

Say it now so later you may die correctly. I have warned you. Since The UPMC is a Nonprofit, you should be able to pay alms to make up for your past mistakes.

Your Beloved Kennywood Will Not Become Tacowood

2007-12-13T04:23:00.000-08:00

From Paris which is very close to Spain

I have been learning about a previously unknown to me part of my adoptable city of Pittsburgh. It is your lovely park of amusement - Kennywood!!!

I am learning that people with fond memories are upset that the Spanish are buying it. It seems that people's hate of Mexico is getting confused with their hate of Spain. Since I live in Paris and have often traveled to Spain, I wish to share my grand thoughts.

First, the Spanish do not eat tacos (while they do have something similar to a taco it is not named a taco). Tacos are not Spanish but Mexican. If you are worried about what kind of food your Kennywood will change to let me set your stereotype correct and now worry that they will be serving Tapas or Paella.

Tapas are just little servings of food. So from what I have learned about Kennywood food, you may expect little funnel cakes or petite funnel cakes and the beloved Potato Patch dish will be about 5 pommes frites arranged gracefully on a plate with a dripping of sauce of cheese.

As for Paella, it is just rice mixed with any garbage you may find in your kitchen so expect rice mixed with cotten candy as your new treat.

As for the Kennywood become more Spanish, expect it to open not at a set time, but whenever. And expect everything to stop for most of the afternoon, but expect it to stay open until 4 in the morning. Dinner will not be served until midnight.

You may expect higher security when getting on the rides. Ever since the Madrid train bombing, people have been on high alert. You will have to show up at least 2 hours before your roller coaster departs so everyone will be checked and run through metal and bomb detectors. Likely men with military rifles will stand guard at each ride but you are likely use to big guns every where with it being America "n'at" ( that is my first posting using my new language of Pittsburghese. Have I used it correctly?)

A small area will likely be claimed by the Basques. It will likely be near where the trash is kept. Trouble will likely be often in this little funny part of your beloved park. You will ask yourself, "why do people feel so full of passion for this little trash place?"

I do not expect your park to change much and you will still have fun which is what you want, right. And you will still eat a lot of food, but it will be in many servings.

I do feel gladness in thinking that the United States gave Europe EuroDisney, so may we now export back to you a similar gift. Since it is from Europe, it will be full of class even if it is from Spain.

I WANT MY PROPERTY TAX RELIEF!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-11T10:16:00.000-08:00

I read this morning that people continue to harrass the kind Mr. Bardin who just wants to open his business. I totally agree with him that how can these angry people who are so full of hate be complaining about a design that they HAVEN"T EVEN SEEN!!!

Why do these people like the Riverlife task force want to deny everyone their property tax relief? Want to know why? Because they only care about the rivers and their pretty views!!! How come the place where the CaSINo is going to be built has been an ugly parking lot forever but all of a sudden these people want that area to look pretty. I never heard them calling to make the parking lot pretty. Clearly, they hate Pittsburgh.

I could care less if the caSINo is a giant pink cube. Most people are going to be inside anyway.

While we all know now that the CaSINo will be changed to a whore house once it opens and the state passes some laws to legalize state run whore house, we all know that a giant garage in needed to handle the crowds, plus we don't want the dads leaving their kids in their cars parked on Northside streets left to be shot up on those mean streets. Better to have them left in a parking garage. So now do you understand why the garage has to be so big!!!!

So just let Mr. Barden build his building the way he wants and give me my PROPERTY TAX RELIEF!!!! Is the only way I'm going to get property tax relief is to die? Everyday I look at the obituary page and think, "at last, this person has property tax relief!!!!"

My Supreme Steeler Nation Update

2007-12-10T04:34:00.000-08:00

Hello from Paris where we are hosting Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi for 5 days!

As a young adult, I would revel in reruns of the television show The Brady Bunch. I would lay on the crowded floor of my mother apartment and dream of living in such a nice house as the Brady's. Last night, I could only watch the first half of the game of The Steelers battling the Patriots before Andre's department store in the suburbs closed. I was very nervous until I came into work today to see the score. My heart dropped.
While I have not seen personally the Mighty Steelers lose a game [my record is 1000% wins!!!], my heart drop for our loss.
But back to the Brady Bunch. I kept looking at Tom Brady the quarterback for the Patriots and thinking that I do not remember him from any of the shows. There was Greg, Peter and Bobby. At some point there was a little guy Oliver that got adopted. Did Tom Brady come later in shows that I might not have seen or that have not made it to Paris yet?

I had a discussion with Andre my fellow parisian who I have converted to Steeler Nation Pittsburgheritarian. We were talking about how much America was damaged by the 9-11 attacks and it is clear that even 6 years later people do not want to see a football team named "The Patriots" to lose. It is a shame that all these football teams are racing to lose to the Patriots just to heal the nation. I guess if it make you Americans feel better to have them undefeated and then you can all get beyond the whole 9-11 thing, that is ok. Once you United States are healed the whole world will be a better place.
As for the Miami Dolphins losing every game, that clearly is a statement about the state of Dolphins in the world and how they are being trapped in nets and killed by the Japanese! By the way, I watched the Steelers beat the Dolphins in a crazy little Dolphins Fan bar in a basement with about 9 people who worship a man named Jimmy Buffet. It was like a cult with crazy shirts drinking awful drinks and some were smoking the pot. All of them did not watch the game but instead dance and then ended throwing up their drinks on the floor and falling asleep on one another. That was my strangest experience yet while following the American Football.

Young Inquiring Minds

2007-12-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

Several of us who write for this blog received an email from a young Pitt student, asking us lots of questions. I will keep his identity a secret, but I thought it best to answer his questions on this blog. I am always impressed by the inquisitiveness of young minds. Following is what the student wrote in italics. My comments and answers are in regular type.

I am a student at the University of Pittsburgh that happens to be working on a case study involving Luke and the Ethics Hearing Board. The course is Board Governance and we are studying different aspects of board (especially those that are not for profit). You seem very opinionated and I am requesting your thoughts on the Pittsburgh Ethics Hearing Board to use in the analysis. I thought instead of using the different newspaper articles and simply highlighting what everyone already knows, I would turn to bloggers to get the "real deal" and see what actual Pittsburghers think about the Ethics Board, Luke, and their actions especially during the investigation period. Please forward this message to your fellow bloggers if you think they would be willing to share some insight as well. I am talking with a lot of Luke haters (bloggers) so your support for Luke will help to balance the argument.

Wow, I really like being called "very opinionated!" Thanks! of course, my opinions are not really mere opinions, they are the truth. I have had years of worldly experience upon which to base my thinking and writing. First, I am slightly confused. You are "studying different aspects of board?" Board what? Also, I am worried that you are talking to Luke Haters. Be very careful. They will try to poison your mind with their cynicsm, parody and satire. They are mostly evil. Normally, I do not dialogue with those who talk to Luke Haters, but, since you are young and earnest, I will make an exception in your case.

1) Was the City of Pittsburgh Ethics Hearing Board board structure and composition helpful or hurtful to the organization? Did board members have conflicts of interest?

Question number 1 is really two questions, and that's kind of annoying. Shouldn't these be questions numbers 1 AND 2? Well, I'll answer them in order. What organization? Of course they had conflicts of interest. Duh.

2) Was the City of Pittsburgh Ethics Hearing Board board a "good board?"

How do you define "good?" What makes a board good or bad? Can a board even be good or bad? Well, I would say they were bad if they went after Mayor Luke for some silly thing like driving the homerland security vehicle or accepting tickets to golf with Tiger Woods. The mayor is supposed to do these things--those are his job--as we have extensively written previously on this blog. Nobody bothered about Mayor Murphy golfing with Arnold Palmer, did they?

3) In your estimation, did the City of Pittsburgh Ethics Hearing Board reach a fair decision on clearing Mayor Luke Ravenstahl on any wrong-doing? Were there any clear signs of negligence or incompetence on the part of the board or any of its members?

Again with the two in one question! Of course it was a fair decision. What was unfair was to waste the Mayor's time by subjecting him to a review of ethics. The Mayor is above ethics, that is why he is the Mayor. I don't think this is rocket science. What are they teaching you at Pitt anyway? And, yes, of course they were incompetent. It was incompetent to waste time thinking about the Mayor's case when he was clearly not guilty of ethical infractions.

4) Did the board operate independently or did it do the bidding of Mayor Luke Ravenstahl (recall that two members of the board are nominated by the major)?

Mayor Luke is not the puppet master of the board. Of course they acted independently. How many people are on this board? So what if two are nominated by Luke? Does two constitute a majority? Use some common sense here. If they were "doing the bidding of Mayor Ravenstahl," do you think he would have bid them to investigate him?

5) In your research, did you see any board activities that seemed questionable?

Umm, from the get go, harrassing our beloved Mayor by questioning his ethics was just plain unethical. I think they need to have THEIR ethics looked at! Questionable? You bet! Look, he's young. Cut the guy a break. Of course he might make some ethical slip ups. I say "might make", which does not mean he DID make any. We know he did not really make any ethical errors. I just mean that we have to be understanding of his youth and not be constantly looking for ways to question him and find fault. This intereferes with his ability to be mayor, and is something that only cynical mean people do.

6) What did the board do right? What did the board do wrong?

I'm not going to answer this becuase again it is two questions and besides they are really the same as question #5. Oh wait a second, they probably should have looked into that DeSantis guy's ethics too. Failure to do that is something they did wrong. I think his ethics should have been investigated before he had even gotten on the ballot. What if he was unethical, got elected (fat chance, but bear with me, this is hypothetical) and then we found out later that he was, in fact, unethical? Then where would we be? What would we do? Nobody knows anything about DeSantis's ethics, yet people voted for him!

7) Should the City of Pittsburgh Ethics Hearing Board change their policies and/or procedures as a result of this set of hearings against Mayor Luke Ravenstahl?

This is getting a bit repetitious. But, yes, they should. They should not be allowed to waste taxpayer dollars, their time, and our Mayor's time by investigating the Mayor unless they are 100% sure that the Mayor has done something wrong.

8) What do you think motivated board members to join the Pittsburgh Ethics Hearing Board?

Cynicsm and hatred. They probably have it in for Mayor Luke. I think they are probably just mean people too.

9) What agenda if any do you think each has as a board member?

You did not have a question #9, this was part of #8. But I decided to renumber them, since you apparently cannot count. Again, what are they teaching you there at Pitt? Apparently they are NOT teaching you how to count. Board Member agendas are too numerous to list here. Maybe my colleagues Pierre and Strawberry Way will care to weigh in with an itemized list of agendas held by each board member. But, just for an example, the board includes a nun, a reverend and a rabbi! Do you think they might have some evangelical agendas related to their own particular religions? I do!

Okay, well, I hope this helps you with your project. Good luck in your studies. I think you should definitely earn an A+ for this work. Because, it was a brilliant idea to turn to bloggers for your research! As you know, we bloggers are the best source of authoritative unbiased facts and information available today.

Pittsburgh Promise Gets $100,000,000.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-05T08:47:00.000-08:00

I was getting so sick and tired of whenever anyone talked about The Mayor's Pittsburgh Promise Program, that thing to give the poor kids in the public schools free tuition to the community college of their choice, they would always say, "Only one person has given to it and it is the teachers union." I was getting so sick of hearing that I was about to give like $10 that I usually give to the Dapper Dan Toys for Poor Kids just to shut those people up. Then they would have to say "two people have given money"

Well, Lordy Lordy, look what happened! UPMC is giving close to 1/10 of a billion dollars to send the poor kids to community college - given there might be one or two kids who will get to go to a real college like Robert Morris or something.

What a slam dunk hat trick for The Mayor Mr. Luke Ravenstahl and for UPMC!!! Now we know why it was so important for The Mayor to attend that golf tournament and skip the room full of screaming women this past summer. I would not be suprised if the Penguins put up a 1/10 of a billion dollars too. Plus Joe Montana (that was whoelse he was golfing with right?) might also give something. It just shows that sometimes we don't know why The Mayor does what The Mayor does. It is going to come out at some point that some terrorists were going to blow up the Star Lake Ampatheater during that Kenny Cheseney concert and that The Mayor really needed to be there with the Hometown Security vehicle and saved thousands of lives plus that of a country superstar. How do we know that The Mayor is not leading a life just like that Jack guy in that 24 tv show?

Now nobody can make fun of the Pittsburgh Promise Program (eventhough The Mayor Hating Monkeys will find some way to do it!). Also, now people can't pick on UPMC for making a profit while it is a non-profit because now they are giving some of it away. Now everyone shut up about them not paying taxes!

I can't wait to hear what other surprises The Mayor has been working on.

Van Halen To Embrace Pittsburgh With A Night of Love

2007-12-04T04:32:00.000-08:00

From Paris:

You may remember how upset I was when it was announced that Van Halen would not be visiting the beloved Pittsburgh on their recent tour. Maybe my Blog post will help you remember .... http://iluvluke.blogspot.com/2007/08/van-halen-pisses-on-our-spirits.html.

After that, I put the whip to the ass of the horse. I did set my massive Van Halen scrapbook out for rubbish. I even wrote the following email to Mr. Mayor Ravenstahl, Mr. Pat Ford and Mr. Yaronne.

I am a writer for a blog (iluvluke.blogspot.com) that greatly favors the
mayor and I was very saddened to learn in the papers that Van Halen will be
missing the City of Pittsburgh on thier most recent tour.

Is there anything that you can do about this?

I believe you should make a statement that if Van Halen does not want Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh does not want Van Halen!!! We don't even want the Van Halen with Sammy Hager. Can you issue an official decree?

As you might be able to see, I am full of anger at them disrepecting your city.

Thank You for Your Time and Service!
Pierre
Paris, France

and I did recieve the following from Mr. Yaronne...
Thanks for your email, Pierre. An official decree may not be in order, but this will certainly take “Jump” out of the running for Pittsburgh’s official theme song. Is this the David Lee Roth influence at play? He has been disruptive before and I sincerely hope this is not evidence of his persistent troublemaking, certain to doom the tour and break up the band.

Au Revoir,

Yarone

Then today I saw the news that Van Halen WILL BE VISITING PITTSBURGH!

I would like to think that Mr. Yaronne pulled some strings and made the concert a certainty. I would also hope that also my outrage helped to make Van Halen change their decision. Unfortuniately, I will be unable to attend the concert for I have not saved up enough for my visit to my adoptable city. If Van Halen or The City of Pittsburgh, wishes to pay for my travel, I might be able to attend. ( I would hope they would also pay for my taxi to and from the airport and cover my hotel fees plus some money so I may "party" like a rock god!)

I do regret loses my Van Halen massive scrapbook and for melting my albums into a gooey mass on the sidewalk of my apartment building but I luckily still have all their albums on compact disks.

Thank you Mr Yaronne for pulling a muscle for the city of Pittsburgh.

My Opus on The Allegheny Conference on Community Development and its Affiliates

2007-11-29T05:00:00.000-08:00

Hello from the city with angry teenagers rioting in the streets - Paris!

The Allegheny Conference on Community Development and its Affiliates is made of the cream of the Pittsburgh people. These people have risen to the top of the mountain and are given a view of the city that few others can comprehend. Together they are like the neutron bomb of change where as all the other little people of Pittsburgh are individually like the little caps that children put in their toy cap guns. Pittsburgh is very lucky to have such powerful men of vision who are willing to work together for the good of all. It reminds me of the Legion of Super Heros.

Since ancient times, all civilisations have needed fathers of vision to help the children citizens. Left alone, the children citizens would end up playing in mud and not eating well and basically soiling their pants. But thanks to the fathers of vision, the children can be let by their hand to a better place safely. That is what I see the The Allegheny Conference on Community Development and its Affiliates [TACOCDAIA] doing for the people of Pittsburgh.

A good example is how when TACOCDAIA was first conceived, they cleaned all the smoke from the city. If not for these Fathers of Vision coming together, the people of Pittsburgh would have kept putting smoke out of the steel mills and would have sat their coughing and wiping soot from their eyes. But thanks to TACOCDAIA, people can now come to Pittsburgh thinking it will be smokey and full of gloom, but will be surprised when it does not meet their expectation but is better. What better way to leave an impression and memory but with a surprise! So much I read people's reaction to visiting Pittsburgh as "I thought it would be ugly but it is beautiful!" It is like meeting a strange ugly girl on the Metro and convincing her to come to your apartment and then when you take off her glasses, let her hair down and take away her clothes, she then looks like Lindsey Lohan!!! You can thank TACOCDAIA for this transformation!

TACOCDAIA is responsible for Renaissance 1 and 2. As a European, I take exception to this because we are responsible for the real Renaissance 1. So one of the first things when I am invited to talk to the Fathers of Vision of TACOCDAIA, I will ask them to renumber their Renaissances. Therefore, they are responsible for Renaissances 2 and 3.

TACOCDAIA is responsible for almost everything in Pittsburgh (except for the bad stuff). They have built Downtown. They have given Culture to Downtown with its Culturial District. They are redecorating The Point State Park. You should think of TACOCDAIA as the interior designers of Pittsburgh for they are striving to make the city grand.

Every year TACOCDAIA gathers for their Annual Meeting to share their Visions with not the lowly people but the people just below the cream of the top. It has been suggested that I may someday speak at this grand meeting. I think that would be a great idea. I think I could share greatly because I to am full of Vision (that is why I contribute to this website to share my humble insight!).

In conclusion, Pittsburgh is very fortunate to have such a group as TACOCDAIA. These are very powerful men who could use their powers to crush the little people, but instead they have turned to use their powers for good. In the coming year, TACOCDAIA is celebrating the birthday of 250 for the city of Pittsburgh. I wish to suggest that the people of Pittsburgh turn the table and instead of celebrating the birthday, they should celebrate TACOCDAIA!!! There could be parades where all the members of TACOCDAIA walk through the canyons of their creation - Downtown - and the people of the city could share their thanks for TACOCDAIA's greatness. Dear, Little People of Pittsburgh? Could we make this idea a reality?

[I wish to thank Mr. Bram for insighting me to the existence of TACOCDAIA. I am sorry for my delay in producing this position paper but I wanted it to be extraordinary to reflect the glory of the topic.]

Is Dan Onorato Our Barry Bonds?

2007-11-27T22:36:00.000-08:00

I saw a picture of Dan Onorato in the paper (yeah, that Republican paper that starts with a P and ends with Gazette) and I noticed that our County Executive looks a lot different than the Little Danny who use to be on City Council. It got me thinking, Is he using performance enhancing drugs?

Look at these two pictures...

before:

after: Doesn't he look like he has Barry Bond's neck? If he is using performance enhancing drugs, I think that sets a bad president. He is a role model and is looked up to by the kids! Plus, I would hate to see such a handsome young man get lured into thinking that he needs that junk just to keep up with everyone else.

I am kind of mad that I am the first blog to endorse him for governor and NO ONE from his office has emailed me to accept the endorsement!!! If I find out that he has been taking Human Growth Steroids or Smart Drugs or Whatever, I am taking back my endorsement.

Don't you think that drug testing should be done on all people who are elected to such important places? We do it on sports people and what they do doesn't even effect my life except for the Steelers.

To My Fans and Mr. Bram....

2007-11-26T04:37:00.000-08:00

I wish you not to worry. I am working on a very detailed analysis of the Allegheny Conference on Economic Development and its partners. It shall be the greatest of reads. I just wanted to tell you in case you thought I was dead, but NO! I am writing a master piece.

Plus, I shall be staying awake very late in order to watch the Steelers Football tomorrow morning. I have found a establishment that caters to fans of the Miami Dolphins who I assume have as great of a following as the Steelers. I must say Steelers Nation sounds much greater than Dolphin Nation.

Dan Onorato Is My Hero!!!!

2007-11-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week Dan Onorato had County Council change the county real estate website so people can't search by the property owners name. I say BRAVO Mr. Onorato for making the county safer for everyone.

We all know that there are crazy people out there and especially in Pittsburgh there are tons of nuts that have access to computers. Just think that some of those nuts could go to a website and findout where somebody lives and actually see a picture of their house let alone know how much they paid for it and see how much taxes they pay. That is just wrong.

Mr. Onorato has the write idea. It is all public information, but no where do it say you have to make it easy for people. What a great idea to take all the information off the internets and keep it all downtown. We all know that nobody goes downtown so all that information is safe down there and no nuts are going to see it.

In the end we are all safer. I think that all leaders should follow Mr. Onorato's lead and take all important information off the internets and put it downtown. They can do stuff like take all the phone numbers for all the city and county offices off the internets so that all those nuts can't make crazy phone calls downtown and bother people. Lots of money would be saved that way from employee's not having to answer stupid questions. If somebody has a real important question, it seems reasonable that they could go downtown and ask the question in person.

Mr. Onorato has shown some true leadership and I know it is really early to do this but just on his recent actions...

This Blog ENDORSES Mr. Dan Onorato for Governer.

Then he could move all the information with him to Harrisburg and really make all of Pennsylvania safer. Then only the most determined nuts would have to go to Harrisburg to get the information in person. We know that only real nuts travel to Harrisburg for any reason.

My Response for My Friend Bram R

2007-11-21T04:14:00.000-08:00

Hello from the Center of the World Paris!

I was going to write a post about how I missed the Steelers game against the Jet Airplanes due to the Train Stike here in France. I should have known they would loose due to my absence, but I spent my time putting together a great new website to be resourceful for anyone who loves Pittsburgh and is a citizen of Steelers Nation...

http://www.pageflakes.com/pierre4pgh

[Do not worry, this website will not detract for my precense here on ILUVLUKE]

I noticed a question directed toward me from My Friend Bram R asking "I'm interested to hear Pierre's take on the ACCD." While I am not familar with ACCD, I am egger to please and I am willing to develop and share my opinion. Here are my attempts. Please, Mr. Bram, let me know if I have answered your request?

The Association for Christian Character Development [ACCD] (http://www.accd.org/) - If the religion is firering your soul, this may be useful. The website needs better design. The Discovery Seminar looks interesting dealing with such things as "breaking free from past hauntings/wounds" or "living as powerfully as you know is possible". Mr. Bram, be careful you may become a Godly superhero if you plan on attending.

American Coalition of Citizens with Disabilities [ACCD](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Coalition_of_Citizens_with_Disabilities) - This seems like a worthwhile organization. I too believe the disabled need help because disabled means they are unable to do things or unable to do them correctly. That is where we who are able should help them. I do not understand how this group helps for it seems they just have meetings.

Alamo Community Colleges [ACCD] (http://www.accd.edu/) - Mr. Bram, are you looking to go to school? This college seems far from Pittsburgh but if you are like other young people and looking to leave Pittsburgh, this might be a good choice for you. Follow your dreams!

The Alliance For Contraception in Cats and Dogs [ACCD] (http://www.acc-d.org/) - I am all for non-surgically sterilizing dogs and cats. It seems they wish for cats and dogs to use the condom. I would not trust them to apply them correctly, but this group seems to believe that is possible. They do have a cute video here.

I hope Mr. Bram, I have answered your questions and you are now satisfied. If not, please let me know if I have missed the mark and I will try again for I am abled not disabled.

Light Up Night!!!

2007-11-17T10:03:00.000-08:00

Last night, I went with my jaggoff family downtown for Light Up Night. It is always so special. No body wanted to go because they thought it was too cold, but I was able to drag my grandson Little Frankie and my son Tony. The three of us went down in Tony's tow truck. I was sure parking would be a problem but Tony knows all the parking lot people so we were able to find a spot and park for FREE!

Light up night brings back so many memories of when I was a child and my dad would take me and my sisters to go downtown to look at the Horne's Christmas tree all lit up. We'd ride the trolly down and look at the tree and then we'd tag around with my dad as he went to different bars and talked to his friends. Me and my sisters would play under dirty pool tables among old peanut shells and we'd eat hard boiled eggs while we waited for my dad. I realized later that it was just a way to get us kids out of the house when my mother was being a nag, but it still brings back so many good memories. And then we'd get dad on the trolly back home and he'd be singing Christmas carols and barely able to stand up. God bless his soul.

So I was hoping to create nice memories for my Little Frankie. We got to see The Mayor light up the Christmas tree. That was great to see him in person. He looks more handsome in real life than in the pictures if you can believe that. He reminds me George Clooney crossed with Brad Pitt with a little Matt Damon in him. We are so lucky to have such a handsome Mayor!
Little Frankie got to email Santa Claus his wish list and then later we got to see Santa. We had some coco and watched some fireworks. Little Frankie wanted to get his face painted like Hines Ward because he was wearing his Hines Ward jersey so the little girl face painting just smeared his face with some brown makeup and that made him happy. We went and watched some people do some dancing on the ice rink. That was nice.

My only complaint for the night was the Highmark "Unity Tree". It is a CHRISTMAS tree!!!!! Can't we just put Christ back in CHRISTmas and call it a CHRISTMAS TREE!? Thank God, they got rid of Sparkle Season!!!!

In conclusion, I want to say that Light Up Night is great. It is like the only night of the year where it is safe to go downtown at night so it is really nice to go down and see it so full of people. It is just like the old days when it was busy down there all the time. I could tell that most of the people are from the suburbs and it would be nice if only people in the city would be allowed to enjoy it but it is still a nice event. So now I am all in the Christmas spirit.

Healing

2007-11-14T08:22:00.000-08:00

There seems to be a lot of pain in Pittsburgh after the election among those people who are Pittsburgh-haters. I have thought really hard about what to do about those 35% of the people who hate the town that they live in and I have determined that this should be a time for healing and bringing Pittsburgh back together.

I don't want to be mean and rub in the fact that their candidate lost, but it is time for us to move past the past election and move forward and come together. So if you are full of hate and anger after the election, I have put together some resources for you to help you come out of the election a better person. I have found somethings that you type of people might find useful in growing up and stop being crybabys.

If you voted for ReSantis, you would likely be into Hug Therapy. Here is a book you can read.

You might want to organize a big group hug for all the ReSantis supports here in Pittsburgh. Maybe you could follow this website as a guide. It looks like something you would be into.

You might also be into getting you aura cleansed.

Or you might want to get something else cleaned.

So I recommend you stay away from your pot pipes and your fancy wines and whisky to drown your sorrow and heal yourselfs so we can make Pittsburgh a better place. There are a hole bunch of us already making Pittsburgh better so why do join us and I promise I'll try not to make fun of you.

My Steeler Nation Update

2007-11-13T04:31:00.000-08:00

Grand Morning from glorious glowing Paris

After a exciting week last week with the triumph of the Great Mayor Luke, I forgot to update you on my citizenship in the Steelers Nation!

I was able to watch the Ravens lose to the Mighty Steelers. You might ask how I stayed awake last week to watch it. Well, my friend Andre who I have converted into a fan of the Pittsburgh hooked a digital recorder of video to the television at his job and we watched it the next day in the department store. Even though we knew the Steelers would triumph, it was still exciting to see the football fly so gracefully into the touchdown zone so many times!!!

This past Sunday when the Steelers battled the Browns, again Andre was working so I ventured to the Department Store. We have become a fixture in front of the Satellite television. Andre has set up a sofa and hooked up a loud stereo sound system so we can enjoy to the maximum. We must be careful so Andre's boss does not get angry at us. It is good that he is a Christian and takes Sundays off so he does not witness our merrymaking. Now we must make sure that Andre's co-workers do not become jealous of Andre having so much fun at work. I am laboring to convert them to the love of Pittsburgh.

What fun watching the Browns lose. And the excitement of Big Ben lumber his large frame into the touchdown zone!! What animal is the Browns? I believe it is the worst name in the National Football Legion.

Again my record is 1000% in watching the Steelers triumph!!! May I never see the Steelers lose!