Monday, December 15, 2008

You Must Be So Happy I Am Alive!

Bonjour Pittsburgh ( I try so hard not to speak french to you because my English is so very awesome.)

I watched the Steeler trample the crippled black birds of Ballymore:( The Steelers climbed to the top of the AFC North with the help of all of us in Steeler Nation!!!

I have been converting a Turkish family that runs a laundry to aim their satelight beam to watch the game. Now you have 8 new Pittsburgh Fans - Muhammet, Yunus, Firat, Gizem, Duygu, Emir, Goker and Murat. There are also all the women who they make watch. We have a fun time. I have taught them to do "THE WAVE" and "STEELERS SONG" (Which I made up because I do not know no Pittsburgh music?)

We watched the game in a group on a card table among the cloth washering and cheered and waved our hand-home-made Aweful Towels! We are one BIG UNIT! Me and Turkque friendz and Steeler Nation.... ONE BIG UNIT! I hope to post pictures sometime.

(If feel the need for a shirt with this on it to show my Pride? Mr. TinkleBreath may you make me memory objects...what do you call? Memory Mobile?

P.S. I was not one who wore masks and stole jewelry from the Big Stores here in Paris! No I did not rob and take money and fly to Pittsburgh to be with my friends Mr. Luke Ravenstahl and Mr. Bill Clinton and Mr. Rush Limbaugh ( no.... haha,,,friends in my dreams.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Why is Rich Lord Such a Meanie!!!

Hello everyone from the Northside...

I have been noticing in the P-G, it seems like Rich Lord has forgotten to take his take his medication... those pills that prevent you from wanting to wear tin foil hats and thinking the CIA is reading your mind.

It seems that Mr. Lord sees something evil in local developers (and others) from wanting to support what they think is good government. Come on!!!! Giving money is freedom of speech!

Then there is Mr. Peduto-head calling the way things work "pay to play" as if that were a bad thing. Let's say I'm am getting my house painted and I get a bid from my friend who I have known forever and I really like and he gives me nice CHRISTmas presents and he says he'll do it for $1,000. Then there is the drunk guy (who lives down the street from me who is nasty and disgusting and is name Larry who I always see picking up that crack whore on North Ave) he says he'll do it for $100. Who would you want painting your house? Right, YOUR FRIEND!!!

So come on and forget about changing any of it. It has worked for Pittsburgh for 250 years so why change it now? Oh, I know why because there is an election coming up and they want to cut the Good Mayor Luke down by his knee caps down to their size.

So as my good readers remember when you hear all those crazy people talking their crazy talk, that they are just looney. And don't surprised when you start seeing Rich Lord standing down in front of the City County Building with strange signs like that guy who use to be down there all the time talking about Mayor Murphy being the some space alien controling the radio waves or whatever.